by Terry 69 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Terry

    Many people don't know why they "feel" what they feel. They fall in love with the wrong person. They cry unexpectedly. They lose their temper trying not to. They pursue activities that ruin their life while knowing exactly why they shouldn't.

    Many people trust their "feelings" more than they trust their own mind!

    Many people say they rely on their "gut" and call it "intuition". (Non conscious source of data.)

    But--they are wrong. As wrong as being misinformed can make them.

    Here is why.

    Our emotions are not a source of information. Our emotions are involuntary physical responses that happen for a reason. The question is: Do we KNOW the reason we experience those emotions?

    Here are the reasons.

    Emotions begin with values.

    What we value results in an involuntary response (emotion) that reflects viscerally the value we hold.

    Easy example. If you hate cats and you see one run over what do you think your emotional response will be? If you love cats, what is your response. The cat is just as dead either way. Right?

    People who actively filter their thinking and consciously decide on what values they hold not only make decisions with awareness but experience emotions fully informed by that awareness. Meaning what?

    We realize WHY we feel what we feel when we've CHOSEN our value while on alert. Contrast that with the person who is lazy about thinking. What means of information SUBconsciously gets fed? Rumor, innuendo, urban myth, social norms, legends, lies and half-truths. This sort of person doesn't KNOW why they suddenly experience emotional attachments that seem AT ODDs with CONSCIOUS knowledge. Passive thinking programs us unaware that we are feeding our emotions at the same time.

    You see?

    There is a disconnect.

    When we disconnect from our emotional reservoir because of passive thinking we may embrace what we know to be poisonous!

    A JW is programmed to be passive. You must accept what you are told and what you read as Absolute Truth. The filter is shut off. The skepticism is gone. The active awareness goes dark and you are spoon fed VALUES constantly that go deep inside you without YOU individually putting an active stamp of conscious approval on them. Your automatic emotional reflexes act accordingly.

    This is how a person can consciously KNOW something is false and yet be emotionally stuck FEELING a warmth and attachment to the false belief.

    The only cure for outright stupidity and hypocracy is an active and rational mind willing to go outside the comfort zone!

    JW's as a group are intellectually dishonest, consciously confused and emotionally warped.

    Consequently, unless we root out the connection between each and every emotion and identify the value we programmed it with--we are at the mercy of strong feelings we cannot now account for and may be ruled by.

    Think about it.

  • free2think

    Good topic Terry

    Fear is the biggest obstacle standing in the way of rationally thinking through - and yet when confronted with alert attention dissipates very quickly imo

  • Xena

    I try to step outside my emotions and review them prior to acting on them. Emotions can be helpful and certainly make life more flavorful but they can also steer you in wrong directions as you noted, especially if you let them control you willy nilly. hehehe I guess you can say emotions are like men.

  • Sad emo
    Sad emo

    Good topic Terry

    A large part of my counselling has involved getting me back in touch with what I'm feeling and why.

    Quite heavy work at times as I'm having to unlearn all the wrong values and beliefs I took on board as a child.

  • Twitch

    Good post, Terry.

    The stronger I feel about something, the more attention I pay as to why that is. There must be a reason. I don't suppress them as I did as a dub. I no longer let my emotions rule me to do as I willed in the moment, as was the case after I left. I seem to prefer the middle ground between realizing/owning my emotions and rationally balancing them out with reason and my experience, in a way.

    Life without emotion would be dull indeed. :-)

  • Terry

    The word "insidious" comes to mind. Subtle, gradual and imperceptible influences are "insidious". Things which influence us without our ever having sat down and made a conscious decision one way or another are "insidious".

    Where do our values come from if we aren't choosing them consciously?

    Our parent's values are our first experience. We aren't intellectually able to be skeptical at first about what our parents believe. Then, at a certain age we start to become individuals and we consciously become aware that something we have been taught is wrong or contradictory. We fight against our training. However! The emotional side of us has been programmed by the false belief, wrong idea, ignorant prejudice or other insidious influence. We find ourselves FEELING differently than we know would be a correct feeling that matches what we know.

    Racial prejudices are formed this way. People "know" better, yet, FEEL discomfort and superiority when there is no factual cause to put other races down.

    Our taste in what excites us in a Romantic mate are insidious too. We are programmed from birth by the faces we see, stories we hear, movies and tv we watch, the notions of romance we see others reacting strongly too.....the list is endless. Then, we act all surprised when an emotion hits us like a hammer upon meeting somebody---and we call it "falling" in love. In other words, we lose control! It is an unnamed "magical" feeling that is held up to be a desirable state of being!!

    There should not be even ONE emotion we cannot rationally account for which matches a consciously held base of information. To some, this sounds robotic and artificial. Yet, it is not. It is an intelligent inventory we need to take to benefit our life choices.

    Studies have shown that abused women continue to choose men who will abuse them long after they are taught what is going on. Victimizers find enablers. Suckers find conmen to cheat them. Shy and introverted "nerds" find a bully to push them around. It all seems like invisible magic.

    It isn't!

    Only by consciouslyselecting our values, inspecting the source of their power and removing aberrent ones can we seize control of our own selves and begin guiding ourselves by remaining at the wheel choosing our future.

    We often hear about somebody having emotional "needs" which must be filled. Yet, you never read about anybody suggesting it is necessary to identify the source of power behind those "needs". It will always be a hidden value placed there by unaware programming in a lazy mind.

    Think of it the way hackers who write spyware programs think of it! You can make a stranger's computer act out of accord with their own wishes by introducing hidden instructions beneath their radar and awareness. An action on their part seemingly innocent activates those instructions and suddenly they are at the mercy of those commands!

    We have all been HACKED! Anytime you feel strongly and can't account for why---or find yourself seized in the grip of a passion (good or bad) which makes you uncomfortable or out of control----instead of surrendering to it----STOP! Run your spyware program and identify the "value" (instruction) that started it all when you weren't paying attention.

    We all need a FIREWALL! Yes, a Firewall between our senses and our emotions. The purpose is to alert us with special notices (!!!!!) that cause us to stop what we are doing and single out for special attention a particular command for decision. The "automatic" actions cause us to overlook the spyware and only conscious attention to detail can begin the removal of faulty instruction (value setting).

    When are we most susceptible? When we TRUST!

    TRUST is dangerous because it shuts off our firewall, turns off our alarm system and leaves us defenseless.

    FAITH is a program that automatically shuts off our defenses! FAITH is uninformed by logic, non-contradiction and the law of identity. (Faith causes us to accept the illogical, swallow contradictions as miracles and believe in things we have no way of proving.)

    EMOTIONS, being involuntary, can cripple us or make life extremely interesting and exciting. It all depends on whether you are the CAUSE or at the EFFECT.

    The choice can be yours.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Yes, I can certainly identify with what you've posted, Terry. I've just been very angry for 50 yrs, give or take.

  • anewme

    Ooooh, I liked that Terry!

  • Golf

    I've been a high steel worker for over forty years, tell me, how about you and I walk on a 6" wide steel beam just three stories above ground?


  • Terry
    Ooooh, I liked that Terry!

    When we were in the grip of a religious organization we were at the mercy of others for good or ill. Taking control of what we FEEL is vital to feeling empowered.

    Once we are empowered we gain the confidence to make decisions based on reality and the prospect (reasonable) for improvement and success.

    It is a wonderful feeling (emotion) to be empowered by our very own CONSCIOUS choices rather than being buffeted about by unnamed feelings that rise up and hold us prisoner to behaviors that drag us down.

    I try to identify the source of everything I feel. I can't tell you how often I am really surprised by the "mysterious" unnamed value that lurks beneath. It takes a lot of soul searching.

    I start off by asking "WHY?"
    Why do I feel this way? What piece of information lies behind it? Do I agree? Do I disagree? Am I helpless? Am I uninformed? Where does this come from??

    Until I indentify the hidden value it is like a murder mystery where clues must be searched out and culprits singled out for suspicion and questioning.

    Clue: There are no such things in this world as CONTRADICTIONS! A contradiction identifies a piece of WRONG information. A thing IS what it is. Anything that conflicts with the identity of something is a contradiction. Close by you will find lurking a piece of FALSE information!


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