Ran into a JW and DFed, DAed, or faded?

by pierogi 20 Replies latest jw experiences

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  pierogi

  Okay, I'm interested in experiences where you are DFed, DAed or faded and you ran into a JW somewhere. If you are DFed or DAed, most likely they'd just ignore you. This is unless you ran into them at work (like a restaurant, bank, grocery store) where it is there job to talk to you.

  I haven't gone to a meeting in a while and when I run into a JW it is overwhelming for me. I get really unconfortable and a bit nervous. Once I ran into a woman at Blockbuster. She said hi in the store and then came behind me in line and said, "So...you haven't been at the meeting in a while." I said, "No, I haven't." If she was trying to be encouraging, not a very good job! Then once a woman gave me a tap on the shoulder in line at the grocery store. She only asked me how my little brother was, like the rest of my family died! My parents DAed themselves. Why is it always in line! I'm forced to wait right there beside them. It's very awkward!
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  mia_b

  i faded but fast so v shunned by family and friends except my mom. i rarely run into anyone thankfully. im in another congs territory, next to the one i was in but didn't know many. i ran into an elder when id just moved and he said it was nice that id talked to him - like he was expecting me to ignore him not the otherway round. but then again i think he knew what my father did to me so maybe thats y he was nice. it was odd - being thanked for not ignoring someone!
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  Frannie Banannie

  Extremely uncomfortable at first, being shunned by a WalMart greeter when I would walk in the door. But in time, the discomfort has lessened. I'm sure the lessening discomfort is commensurate with an increased knowledge (obtained here on JWD and other XJW info sites) of the many, many erroneous teachings and practices of the WTS and its members.

  Frannie
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  pierogi

  Extremely uncomfortable at first, being shunned by a WalMart greeter when I would walk in the door.

  That's funny Frannie! Now this is what makes me mad. They have to do their job! As long as they are at work they have to care for you just as much as anyone else! I would have been

  so annoyed that I'd be a tattle tale and tell his/her boss hoping to get them in trouble! lol
• 

  RunningMan

  It always used to make me feel guilty when I saw Witnesses out in service or on their way to a meeting. But, then one day, it just stopped.

  I feel so liberated. It's like looking in over the prison wall, and being damn glad I'm not in there.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Not a great story, but recent. I am a fader, whose wife knows not to ask too many questions about what
  I read, but I don't leave things where she would see them. Mutual understanding.

  I have already read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz, former member of the Governing Body.
  I am reading my own copy of his second book, In Search of Christian Freedom, but I was at the
  library with an hour to kill before picking up the wife. I saw that they had COC and ISOCF on the
  shelf. I considered getting them for a coworker I know whose wife is a JW, he knows I am not
  happy with the JW and he gets information from me, uses it anonymously. I had considered getting
  those two books for him, loaning my copies to him and reading the library copy of the second one.
  Since I had to pick up the wife, I would have had to hide them in a pile of junk in the back of the
  minivan, or by the spare tire compartment. I decided against them and got a book examining cults
  in America instead.

  At the library checkout, I get my card out of my wallet. It's been there so long, I forgot to do something
  with my "No Blood" card. The check-out person says, "Oh, are you a brother?" "WHAT" "I noticed your
  card, are you a witness?" "Yeah" (She has my name and information on the screen in front of her, I can
  read this non-apostate book, no sense in denying it.) She makes chit-chat about JW's then has to care for
  the next person who steps up, I get out. Imagine if I got the Franz books. I would have to deny being a JW,
  and who knows what she would have done.
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  twinkle toes

  I am definetly a fader. But I have managed to fade very safely into a zone where I still associate with all my family. I don't share my views with anyone but my wordly husband and noone asks. Mostly everyone I know in the small town who are witnesses are very nice to me, as I was always well received in the congergation. However there are a few elders and distant cousins who are a little to righteous to make eye contact with me. I dont mind to much. Sometimes I'm in the mood to be extra sweet to them so they have to feel guilty for being rude to me. I do occasionaly get asked by some older sisters if I am ever coming back to meetings I just smile and say maybe. It just seems easier.
• 

  becca1

  Welcome twinkle toes!
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  Frannie Banannie

  That's funny Frannie! Now this is what makes me mad. They have to do their job! As long as they are at work they have to care for you just as much as anyone else! I would have been

  so annoyed that I'd be a tattle tale and tell his/her boss hoping to get them in trouble! lol

  LOL, Pierogi! Yes, they do. But soon I began to force her to speak with me. And ya know what? She's not a greeter anymore. I didn't have to say a word to WM management either. And when I see a jdubya now? Any tidbit of residual discomfort I feel when I see one is kinda like a mosquito or gnat that I shoo away. And I have no qualms about putting them on the spot scripturally.

  Frannie
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  IsaacJS2

  I have had quite a variety of experiences. I have discussed elsewhere why I think they behave so strangely to ex-Witnesses like us (I think it's about their needs, not about yours, despite their protests).

  A week or so after I finally decided to quit the meetings altogether, the lovebombing began. I call it harrassment, but whatever. I literally had 20+ phone calls every night for the first 5 days or so after it began! People wanting to hang out, how ya doing, wanna come over and play chess, etc. It was almost scary. I got the thing where you bump into one of them and they want to know where you've been quite often for the first couple of years. I even had my wife's grandmother find me at work at preach at me for about 15 mins in front of my coworkers and customers! And she was probably the nicest member of her family that I knew. I was still being nice about it back then. Now, I regret every head nod and every second that I patiently tolerated their awful behavior. Now, part of me is just aching for someone to try it. At last, I will have fun.

  The worst was when a flood ran us out of our home for nearly a week. We stayed with my wife's JW aunt who has a huge home. She took full advantage of it as well, literally reminding me every half-an-hour on the hour: "You know, Isaac...Armageddon's coming." Thanks Kathy. I almost forgot for a sec! Sheesh. It was absurd. Not to mention about as common as you can get. I was a guest in her home with no place else to go!

  After 3 days of so, she finally decided we were going to do this preaching thing no matter what. (Perhaps her service time was low for that month?) So she grabs a brochure from the last convention and shows me another one of those pictures the Society so loves. You know, where you see a bunch of multi-ethnic people wandering through a forest with dopey grins on their faces. (At least there weren't any kids getting a piggyback from a lion in the background on this one) She points to the one empty spot in the scene and asks me, "Would you like to be here?"

  I told her no. "I'm allergic to bugs. And I sunburn too easily." It only got more entertaining (and frustrating) from there.

  BTW, I'm actually a total smart*** in real life. You probably can't tell it from the way I act in here, but ohhh is it ever true.

  IsaacJ