by Caine 32 Replies latest jw friends
Thanks so much,
As for my family they are cool. Mom said she could not talk to me or even give me a hug. That lasted about two weeks. When she realized I wasnt boo hooing about her decision she came around. Dad is cool. And my sister still lets me see my nephews. But i believe this is because i am going to meetings and trying to come back. If i totally said i was never going back,,,might be different story
But i believe this is because i am going to meetings and trying to come back. If i totally said i was never going back,,,might be different story
Welcome.
If the above is not a strong reason to doubt the WTS then I dont know what is!
You see, no-one in their right mind would shun a child simply for disagreeing with a religion, yet the WTS makes it a 'kind, loving thing to do, for their benefit'. I mean, how sick is that?
My main reason for leaving the org was down to this practise and I never have been d/fd. I just felt so strongly about it. It is cruel, heartless and unnecessary.
Your family wont admit it but even if you did come clean, they wouldnt WANT to shun you. They would probobly do it because it is expected of them. Again, it is sick!
Be true to yourself and if they shun you then use it as an opportunity to 'teach them, dicipline them' that shunning is unnatural and cruel. They will come round eventually.
J
Greetings Caine,
Welcome to JWD Caine. The predicament you're in is a tough one. There's no need to rush into anything. Being here can help. There are many who've been where you sit now. Just spend some time here. See what others have done. Cheers to you!
Dismembered
Caine - you are probably right in yoru assessment that they are still seeing you because you are attending meetings and trying to go back. My family also had some association with me when I was wroking towards reinstatement no 2. If you are under 18 then they have an obligation to you anyway even if they are not under the same roof.
If and when you do get reinstated - what are your plans then? Have you decided to forgo a life of your own until your parents pass away? Or do you want to do the fade? Be warned fading after dfing and not getting caught doing anything they can DF you is very very very hard and you will spend most of you time looking over your shoulder... I think you need to look hard at your long term solution. My story in brief is below:
Welcome Caine: You are in a tough spot to be sure!
As others have already said, you are in a unique position to do some real research into the roots and management of this religion. YOU must be sure that it is true, you can't keep going along with it just because you were raised that way.
Do you mind if I ask how old you are--do you still live at home or is there some space between you and your parents?
There are lots of others who have experienced the same things that you are going through--don't be afraid to share here on the forum. There are some that have left religion altogether, but there are others who still have a strong relationship with Jevovah and with Jesus, still follow the Bible, etc. but as it really is, not as the WTS nitpicks and twists it apart like the Pharisees.
As far as your DF goes, if you have confessed to the Lord, then you are forgiven in His eyes. What the WT is doing is to punish you beyond what is written in the Scriptures.
Look forward to hearing more from you!
Welcome, Caine. Feel for you. (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) I"m guessing they would keep you out longer--if they fully remember that you had said it. They might just see it as evidence that you had gotten weak about study and attendance and, therefore, got doubts--which opened the way to sin. If you weren't/ aren't actively (as far as they know) speaking against the org., they might still treat it as just a sex sin and leave the rest alone. Good luck with your situation!
well im not a young kid...i live on my own.. would like to keep details simple.just in case...thats the other thing..the paranoia of being a witness. i feel like a character in the good shepard. what a mindf@#*.
Welcome Caine!
Sorry for what you're going through. It is possible to be reinstated and then fade, if that's what you want to do. But as others have noted, it will be hard.
As for your doubts, you deserve to have your questions addressed. Look at the 'Best of' section on this board. There is a wealth of information there. Good luck to you.
GGG
It is easy to get out.
It is harder to stay out.
You have to start a whole new life and that is the CHALLENGE AND OPPORTUNITY!
But maybe you are young Mr. Caine and this may not be the best time for you to head out on your own.
You are doing the right thing to weigh the circumstances and your options. To get dfd is quite a shocking experience. Many here recommend doing the fade if possible. But sometimes that is not possible.
If you return to the JWs, you can always leave again at a better time for you.
Meanwhile you can pour your heart out here.
Best wishes,
Anewme
Yes, it is very very hard to stay away and that is because of fear, pure and simple. You have been "indoctrinated" with this fear. I came back, (or tried to) about three times because of the fear and shame the organization had branded into my mind since early childhood. I finally did the "fade" but they actually caught up with me after about ten years and I was formally DFed. Even though I hadn't been to a meeting in years I was still horribly traumatized and was almost catatonic for weeks. This is cult mind-control at its finest. They hate being called a cult but read up about cults while you are here--I don't know it offhand but someone here should have a link to the page that lists all the earmarks of a cult. It's "eye-opening" believe me. It's probably too soon for you to take this step but you should read Ray Franz's "Crisis of Conscience". His very name probably sends shivers of fear down your spine and this is just the way the org wants you to feel. Reading his book after being DFed for over fifteen years is finally what broke the chains of fear for me. The org wants you in those chains. They are just men and nothing more, and they control the lives of millions on a whim. They will also destroy these lives on a whim. He truly exposed "The Man/Men Behind the Curtain" with his beautiful and heartbreaking book.
Best wishes to you and stay strong. You are an individual and you have great worth. The org made me an agnostic because I distrust ALL religion now, but I sense that you have a strong belief in God. It will be very hard for you to pray since they have told you, as they told me, that Jehovah's ears are now blocked to your prayers. The thought of praying to Jesus probably frightens you too, since that is a JW BIG no-no, but just try having a little "informal" one-sided chat with him. Or, express your fears to the Universe--read the Tao Te Ching. Try to build up your own sense of worth.
Peace
