When "friends" let you down...

by Crumpet 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • Warlock
    Warlock

    Sometimes you find out the CORRECT spelling for "friends" is "fiends".

    Warlock

  • anewme
    anewme

    I think the old saying goes......you are lucky if you have one or two true friends in life.

  • ~Flower~
    ~Flower~

    You have to ask yourself what is a true friend. And when your friends let you down are they worth keeping? How good of a friend were they anyway?

    I have several examples of crapy friends.

    First would be of witness friends after my mom died. No one talked to me of course and I had to grieve alone. I'd call them crapy friends.

    Second is friends that owe me money and never paying up. Some ppl just feel entitled. Selfish.

    But what can you forgive or put up with? I find myself staying friends w/lot's of ppl that owe me money although it annoys me.

    We are all human and make many many mistakes. I'm not perfect and I know I haven't always been a great friend. So if I want forgiveness and expect it, I should forgive those who let me down. Right?

    Every situation is different. It's ultimately about what you can deal with and how much disappointment you can stand.

  • aSphereisnotaCircle
    aSphereisnotaCircle

    With the situation as you described, I really think you should tell your friend exactly how you feel.

    Sometimes people just don't think, I've been guilty of this in the past and when it was brought to my attention, I was very,very embarrassed, I don't know how I could have been so thoughtless but I was

    I'm glad the person spoke up.

  • FreeChick
    FreeChick

    Same thing just happened to me too, Crumpet. I know I won't give as much time to that person in the future. There's only so many hours in a day...have to make room for those we truly care about.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet
    They were just there for my generosity.

    JH out of curiosity how were you generous? Time? Money? Days out? Preaching?

    Timbo - then you know exactly what I mean!

    Tij - I know you had a horrible time !

  • Rooster
    Rooster

    Crumpet, your new avatar is hot. just had to say it!!!

  • whyamihere
    whyamihere

    I have friends and I have acquaintances........

    As time goes on, you know who is who.

    Brooke

  • Twitch
    Twitch

    well even my closest friends have let me down at times when I thought they would be there for me. I guess, sadly, I've learned to lower my expectations and realize that if i am going to get through something, the only person I can count on to get me through it is me..

    Don't get me wrong, I will still hope they are there for me... but... at least my expecations aren't so high...

    Agreed. You really find out who is who when it comes down to the tough times. Most are fair weather friends. Some "friends" can be two faced and while seeming to support you to your face, will turn around and mock you behind your back. Some regard it as sport with slings and arrows. Others would rather not listen or deal with what your particular issues are, even though you may listen to theirs. Fair enough; this is a two way street. As was said, the only one you can really count on is yourself. And I'm ok with that; high expectations of others can set you up for a fall. Take what you can get and be happy with it. Yadda yadda,....

    I can count on one hand the number of true friends I have and have fingers left over. And like them, I'm not infallible and sensitive at all times but at some level they are there for me in dire straits as I am for them.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    (((Crumpet))). I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. You don't deserve what she's done.

    I, too, have lost a friend recently. I thought we were pretty good friends and she's the only friend I've made since my exit from the WTS. Around Thanksgiving, she came over and brought me some odds and ends (crochet thread and books) that she was getting rid of....and she "borrowed" some video cassettes of movies that I had. Since that time, she hasn't called, nor has she answered the phone in response to my phone calls to her. I know she's alright, because her answering machine works fine. I've left messages and asked her if she's okay and if she will call me back, but there's no response. I quit phoning. I considered leaving a message asking her why she doesn't even speak to me anymore, but decided not to bother. I haven't even asked her to return the movies she "borrowed."

    Frannie

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