Elder lost privilages due to 1 Timothy 3:1-7. Why?

by RULES & REGULATIONS 26 Replies latest jw friends


    1 Timothy 3:1-7 reads:

    If any man is reaching out for an office of overseer, he is desirous of a fine work. 2 The overseer should therefore be irreprehensible, a husband of one wife, moderate in habits, sound in mind, orderly, hospitable, qualified to teach, 3 not a drunken brawler, not a smiter, but reasonable, not belligerent, not a lover of money, 4 a man presiding over his own household in a fine manner, having children in subjection with all seriousness; 5 (if indeed any man does not know how to preside over his own household, how will he take care of God’s congregation?) 6 not a newly converted man, for fear that he might get puffed up [with pride] and fall into the judgment passed upon the Devil. 7 Moreover, he should also have a fine testimony from people on the outside, in order that he might not fall into reproach and a snare of the Devil.

    An Elder in my congregation lost his privilages last month due to one of his baptized teens being disfellowshipped.He has 2 other teens that still attend and both are baptized.He sent a letter to the Society to see why he was demoted and he was told that what is written in 1 Timothy 3 :1-6 stands.He was relieved of being an elder.

    My questions are:Since when is someone responsible for the actions of a teen? Could he loose his privilages if he had 5 kids that still attend the meetings and just one quits or gets disfellowshipped? What does this scripture really mean?

  • UnConfused

    If they didn't want him having a DF'd teen is more than enough ammo to say he's "nor presiding over his household properly"

  • fullofdoubtnow

    I've seen this happen in my old congregation. An elders' daughter fell into what the org regard as seroius sin - getting drunk, smoking, being out with worldly people, and he was asked to stand down as an elder as she was still living in his house after being df'd. I suppose the society felt that he wasn't setting the ideal example having such a person in his home, and wouldn't have freedom of speech to counsel others about what they or maybe their kids were doing. When his daughter left home, he was reappointed as a ministerial servant, and may be an elder again by now.

  • avidbiblereader

    There is no consistency, I have seen elders and MS get deleted for the same things as their kids went a little wild, then others had out right JDilenquets(?) and got completely away with it. For those who get AWAY with it, I have seen the Biblical example of Samuel as the reason. who knows the reasoning?

    He is probably better off, better to concentrate on his family no matter what other feel or think about him.


  • greendawn

    They probably wanted to get rid of him perhaps local power politics and jealousies, there is no way anyone can be held accountable for the actions of an adult son or daughter. In that case most elders would have to cease.

  • Justitia Themis
    Justitia Themis

    Yes, it just depends upon if the like him or not. If they don't, he's out. If they do, he stays in. Our congregation had an elder wiht a very rebellious daughter. She wore extremely revealing clothing out in service, and associated with worldly individuals. Anytime someone would try to tell any elder about her, they would be chastised and threatened with being reproved for "slander." Usually, there was not a second witness.

    Finally, the issue could no longer be hidden when brothers and sisters, including another elder and his wife, arrived one Saturday morning for service at this elder's home. They looked up to see this girl's boyfriend climbing out of her bedroom window and trying to "escape."

    She was not reproved; according to her, nothing "happened." She ended up marrying the guy.

    He was our PO before, during and well after this incident.


  • minimus

    Everything depends....See, if they really liked him, they could say he was fine with 2 out of 3. Or if the cong. got upset because a peon MS got the boot, the elders might've felt they had to take some action to save face. Or if the father was derilict in his duties toward that one son, he would get screwed too. From my personal experience, IF the elders like you, they'll work it out. OR if the CO says he HAS to be deleted , it's a done deal. The good news: NOBODY will ever be good enuf to be an elder.

  • undercover

    He must not have been in the inner circle as well.

    I knew an elder whose teenage daughter fell into serious wrongdoing and was disfellowwhipped. This particular elder wasn't all that well liked and was known for his strict adherence to the rules (as far as other people's kids anyway). Who am I kidding? He was a bastard.

    It was initially rumored that he was being removed as an elder. There was some factions of the hall that secretly rejoiced. Then it was rumored that he would actulally step down during a part during the service meeting, to try to set an example to all parents in the hall.

    However, this man was part of an unholy power trio that ran the congregation. These elders ran the congregation like their own little kingdom. They set the rules and everyone was expected to obey. It was not in him to give up so easily. In the end he did not step down, nor was he removed.

    His part on the service meeting, in which most of the dubs in attendance (and we had a full house looking forward to his comeuppance) were expecting his resignation. Instead he gave a talk on how instead of resigning and admitting defeat, he would adhere to his duties with even more prayer and study than ever before and he was staying on to help the congregation. And we could all be comfortable knowing that at least one elder understood the troubles of trying to raise a kid in this old world today. Most everyone in attendance just sat there with their jaws open. Finally, when we thought that the unholy trio would be broken, it held onto its position of power. After that many decent people in the hall became disillusioned, realizing that these merciless elders would never be taken down.

  • SirNose586

    The kids don't even have to be df'd...they just have to have enough drama surrounding them. A couple cases in point: there was a former elder who had three boys. All three had drama and reputation surrounding them. None were baptized, but all three were considered unspoken "bad association." The brother was forced to step down as an elder.

    Another former elder had a pretty wild daughter. She got pregnant out of wedlock once, then got into a hit and run. She'd also served some jail time. She was never at the meetings. Her father was quietly demoted, and since then, he and his wife have moved to another congregation. The kid was never baptized, just had drama in her life and her reputation put the brother's position into question.

  • aniron

    The daughter of an Elder in my congregation got pregnant before marriage. She and the guy were reproved.

    His other daughter was also known to be having sex before marriage. Nothing said or done.

    His oldest son ran off and married a "worldly" girl. Father cintinued as Elder

    Other son caught smoking was "reproved" Son of another Elder was DF'd. Caused big trouble second Elder resigned.

    Elder himself was eventually caught out smoking resigned, but not DF'd.

    This Elder was one who considered himself a "spiritual policeman" in the congregation.

    Always counselling others on some minor infringement of Watchtower Law.

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