I think there on to me...

by thebiggestlie 47 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Highlander

    I'm sorry dude, I truly hope things don't get crazy at home for ya.

    This situation is a perfect example of how f$cked up this 'religion' is. In a normal family, it is quite possible to see a child kicked out or punished in some sort of way for

    something serious such as major drug abuse, violent behavior or any other serious criminal behavior. When it comes to the j-dubs though, they will at time tolerate serious

    criminal behavior, but then as soon as they sense even the tiny bit of so called 'apostacy', then your ass is handed to you as they kick you out the door.

    I hate this cult!

  • thebiggestlie

    Man things are just rushing through my head right now. I dont think i should argue anything. I need to stay calm and just let them know that "i dont believe" and that i dont feel like trying to convince them of how i feel as i know that would go no where. Does that sound like an initial plan? I dont know. They are the type of parents that i think will try anything to "save me from satans clutches" ugh..... I wish i wasst homeschooled either because i feel like im cut off from anything else. BTW i called my phone and cant find it still. I have it set on vibrate.I'm thinking that my mom might have taken it earlier but who knows.....

  • SirNose586

    Uh oh, looks like you've let the cat out of the bag. I almost got caught too; I had JWD onscreen, not minimized. Thankfully nothing came of it (yet...).

    Well, judging by your folks reactions, they are quite disturbed to find this material of yours. Since an apostate is worse than Satan according to the WTS, they are feeling emotionally devastated. Try not to do anything to exacerbate the problem by being brusque with them. As I see it, you have a couple ways this accident can play out: you can be defensive over the issue and trigger a fallout with your parents and a quick JC, or you can try your darndest to play the "I needed to investigate some claims" defense. Neither path is desirable, and you should assume that shit is going to get ugly right away.

    When you are confronted about your material, you will be asked what could possibly lead you to look at this stuff. There are a number of explanations you could give, but you need to tie in some part about an outsider (like a forum member or myspace friend) making claims about JWs. I don't know what subjects you were looking at in particular, but it's probably safe to say that you could talk about the UN DPI scandal, for one. Remember, you need to mention something that hasn't been covered in the literature. You needed to go on the internet to find out about something the Society hasn't addressed.

    Here's some answers you could have ready:

    Them: "Son, you know these are apostate lies about _______! There's no way you could even think about looking at them."

    You: "I'm sorry, but I needed to answer _____ about this issue with the best evidence I could find. The literature doesn't talk about it. I would've gone to the CD right away, but the Society didn't have any information about _____. I was confident that what I would find would reveal the truth about the matter. Besides, if the Society's done nothing wrong, then there's no reason to be afraid to search for the answers.

    Them: "There's no point in searching the internet for information on the Society. It's all negative. If it doesn't come from the Society, you know it's an apostate lie!"

    You: "I was worried about that. But the information I found out came from third-party sources who have no reason to malign the Witnesses. If an encyclopedia states (that Jerusalem was destroyed in 587 BCE, etc.), then how is that some sort of apostate campaign? Don't I have some reason to be concerned if authoritative historical sources have one claim, and we have another? Aren't we supposed to make sure of all things? Besides, not considering someone's viewpoint just because you don't like them wouldn't hold up in a court of law. It's a logical fallacy to attack the person and not their argument, and I wanted to make sure I went about this whole thing logically."

    Them: "Don't you believe in the Slave? Are you doubting God's Channel?"

    You: "Look, you know I love the friends, and I love going to the meetings. But how can I defend the Truth if I'm not even informed about the same things that they are? You know, that's what _____ said about the Witnesses. He said our organization was a high control group because it's members weren't allowed to research it's past history. That really hurt. I needed to prove him wrong, and so I started doing research outside of the Society's literature."

    Them: "You know that communicating with apostates/disfellowed persons will only lead to spiritual shipwreck. Why did you even get started down that road?"

    You: "The Apostle Paul talked about building with fire-resistant materials. That's how I hope my faith has been built. He was willing to defend the resurrection and his faith with the staunchest of opposers. Peter did the same. The point is that there is a Biblical precedent to defending our faith with unbelievers. I was encouraged by their examples most of all. Besides, I was talking with people who hadn't been disfellowshipped."

    Them: "But son, all the material we found was critical of the Watchtower Society."

    You: "I needed to weigh their evidence against ours. Believe me, I have our arguments well in mind, and they do stack up against theirs in a number of ways (give an example)."

    There's about a snowball's chance in hell that you will get off, but it's worth it to try and calm them down. The status quo has been ruined, and you should think about them kicking you out of the house, and you being df'd. Consider all your plans to make a painless exit scrapped. By preparing for war, you can best hope to survive this critical situation.

  • thebiggestlie

    Wow hey thanks for all that... im not even sure i wanna stop this from happening. It was bound to happen sometime but i dont know i guess im just scarred of the unknown.... Your comments have been awesome. I'll keep some of the "canned" comments in mind. They sound pretty genuine. Then again i dont wanna stoop to there level with the whole "spiritual war I'm-not lying just not telling the truth thing" I dont know i'll either become a mute and remain silent or answer completely honestly when i get "confronted".....

  • SirNose586
    Then again i dont wanna stoop to there level with the whole "spiritual war I'm-not lying just not telling the truth thing" I dont know i'll either become a mute and remain silent or answer completely honestly when i get "confronted".....

    Well, there are some other factors that come into play if you choose to go for the Hail Mary. Do you "reach out" in the congregation? How's your service time? Do you butt heads with your folks often? If any of those answers aren't in your favor, you can just about forget to try and defend your material as innocent research.

    Avoid getting into scripture ping-pong. If you do, remember Romans 14:1.

  • thebiggestlie

    I'm a model witness boy.... 30 plus hours a month in the "ministry. I'm a watchtower reader mic handler and assembly talk/experience giver... i do get into fights with my parents though and my dad will just think that i just want to do selfish things and leave god in the dust. He will will think that i'll be right out the door to buy some pot and get laid.... He says that anyone that leaves the org ALWAYS has selfish motives because how else could they leave such "undeniable truth"

  • nicolaou

    You sound like a good guy, just don't forget that your parents love you. The Watchtower has made victims of them too and it's sometimes hard to see through the cult-induced behaviour to the real people underneath.

    Just a suggestion but why not make the first move? Tell your Mom you saw her crying and ask what's wrong. Reassure them both that you value the moral lessons they've taught you, that you're taking your schooling seriously and not to worry that you'll be sliding into a life of sex and drugs - they raised you better than that.

    Gently remind them that though you'll always be their son you are not a child anymore and you're starting to make decisions for yourself and you hope they can show you a measure of the high respect you give to them.

    Good luck.

  • SirNose586
    He will will think that i'll be right out the door to buy some pot and get laid.... He says that anyone that leaves the org ALWAYS has selfish motives because how else could they leave such "undeniable truth"

    Your response: "I'm sorry that you feel that way. How many people have you kept in contact with after they left the truth? You know, I wondered why anyone would voluntarily disassociate themselves. I've been talking with a lot of former witnesses. You know what I've found? Some leave because they find being a witness was too restrictive, you're right. But more leave because their conscience wouldn't let them (uphold the blood ban, protect pedophiles, etc.), or they find the Society's evidence about ______ to be lacking. I know one such guy around my age who is thinking about leaving because he couldn't find any historical support for 607 being the date of Jerusalem's destruction (), who is an MS in his own hall and respected. The sad part is, I've found that the majority of people who leave, do so because they were feeling unloved and mistreated. I've read example of example of people who were made to feel lower than dirt by the ones they respected and admired."

  • bernadette


    really sorry about your situation. I got discovered too and had 'apostate printouts' left around for me to see.

    Didn't handle it well at the time - but I think u are doing the right thing in to deciding stay calm. Maybe a good idea to reassure your parents as Nic suggested. Also a trick I have found is to imagine I am water and simply pass through the opposition when it happens but try to stay comforting.



  • avidbiblereader
    He says that anyone that leaves the org ALWAYS has selfish motives because how else could they leave such "undeniable truth"

    I wonder if he would have said the same of Christ as he left Judism?


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