I walked out on the elders..

by sibboleth 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • shadowofbathory


    you sound like a cool parent thanks for sharing this

    just one thing, to my experience this is a rare occurance and certainly i havent seen it in any cong downunder where the elders impose their own standards

    dont let that detract you from any good individuals in the cong that you have abandoned due to some silly few

  • lisavegas420

    How cool that your children get to be children and do normal children things...woo hoo..you rock


  • OnTheWayOut

    As a former elder, I didn't call any of these "petty" meetings. I truly felt that
    personal decisions were personal. I was second banana at several of them,
    though. Sometimes, I was brought in just as blind to the subject as the
    publisher. We had an elder counseling a brother about not only going to
    Hooters Family Restaurant, but also taking other brothers there. He said
    "Did whoever talked to you tell you that our wives were always with us?
    Have you ever been there, before you decide what it's like?" Even though
    his points were valid, he said he wouldn't take other families there.

    Another sister was trying to transfer to our foreign language cong. and she
    knew the language. The problem was that her inactive husband and her had
    records in another cong., and she was separated from her husband. He had
    been physically abusive, never counseled for it. The first banana told her she
    needed to go to the cong. where her husband's records were, as that would be
    the only chance of reconciliation. She said she was never going to get back
    with her husband. First banana said we were never going to request her
    records transferred. She said she would come here without her records.

    Later, I met with her- sitting at the back of the hall acting as if we were just
    chatting. I said "I cannot advise you personally, but I can tell you what many
    people in similar situations have done. Many people in a situation like yours
    go to their cong. of records and tell them to just forward the records to the
    new cong. They say that they will be attending all meetings there and here is
    the secretary's address. Once the new cong. receives those records, they
    are often "stuck" with them, and the publisher stays." That is what she did.

  • buffalosrfree

    I always found in amazing how individual congregations had their own particular rules, which in many instances differed widely with that of another congregation. Pointing out to them the commands of men in Matthew 15:9; its like talking to a wall, they are so blinded by their own importance nothing else can get through.

    On several occasions, sat through talks about our children in the borg and how going to college and playing sports is bad, while the asshole giving the talk is letting his daughter go to the Prom, his son playing sports and eventually going on to college while that rectum circle tries to disuade all others from letting their children do the same things. Bad for the R&F but seeming good for the elders children. I was so tired of the eliteness going on and the hyprocisy.

    Once again good for you dad for using your own standards and not those imposed by others.


    Good for you...awesome job shoving your freedom in their faces!

  • LovesDubs

    I heard the theme music from Chariots of Fire as you ran through the door, out of the building and into FREEDOM!

    well done! My kids have BLOSSOMED since leaving the Borg! Wouldnt trade that for ANYTHING!

  • Verona

    I've enjoyed reading your post, since I also walked away from a similar experience.

    You surely exemplified courage to allow your children to pursue some of the things that are not harmful, but could benefit them in their future, knowing that it would meet some resistance from the congregation. Afterall, you're not serving as an Elder anymore, why should you and your family be under the same microscope?

    Those brothers who had met with you are probably under pressure to do so, what a sad thing to see, when the Jan 1 Watchtower 2007 tells us to widen out in love. How can such ones read/write this material and get it so wrong in it's application?

    Hang in there, and doing so will demonstrate to your family, who you show is the most important to you, and not some misconception that some over righteous ones may try to pressure you into.

    Reading the Watchtower is not what it's cracked up to be. This is just the silling games that the ORG tries to use in motivating the congregations to be on board. You have shown that you choose not to sell your childrens happiness in exchange for reading some paragraphs in an audience that wants the study to finish fast.

  • LeslieV

    I felt just like you about my children, the big difference was that I was married to a Brother Dorkie. So in order to get my three daughters away from their elder father trying to marry them off to a spiritual brother when they were just 12, I took them and left. I also wanted my girls to have a life, not like what I was raised in. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but now my oldest is working on her Master's in Nursing, my middle daughter is working on her Master's in Anthropolgy, and my youngest begins college in March. So for all those out there who are worried about leaving with kids..LEAVE it is the only way they can have a normal rewarding life.


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