How ambitious were you as a JW?

OnTheWayOut

AllTimeJeff got me thinking about this. He was very ambitious as a young JW,
things changed as he wised up. My question is about your JW ambitions along
your journey. Here's mine-

I was young and impressionable and in need of serious professional help, which
I never got, but was befriended by the love bombing and all the answers that JW's
had to questions that I never even knew I should be asking.
I had been in the military before, so when I visited Bethel (actually before I even got
there) I knew the regimented lifestyle was never for me. I had no desire to be a CO or
DO or go to Gilead, but I was grateful for the "truth" so I promoted it well. Even when
I questioned somethings, I would promote the doctrine for the hope of getting God's
spirit.

I quickly made MS and Elder, just because I promoted the doctrine, but I was not that
ambitious. I occasionally saw problems where I knew I needed to do what was right and
never worried about my position being taken away. That feeling grew. I pioneered for one
year around 2001 as a last-ditch effort to see if I would get a helping of Holy Spirit to
remove my doubts. The year and Pioneer School proved to me that I didn't have God's
spirit. I moved to a foreign language cong. not for the prestige, but to please my wife and
learn the language. The cong. recommended me for elder, which I tried to turn down, but
they insisted. I had no problem stepping aside when my mind was made up to fade. I have
no concerns about what the JW's in the cong. think of me, although most think well of me.

The quick version= I was a company man from the start, rose to elder quickly, then never
wanted to raise higher, and the position was easy to give up.

Your turn.

avidbiblereader

The whole thing is set up as a competition!

Do more, can you do more, are you giving enough, can you reach out

abr

grey matters

I was raised in the org. My father was a fairly prominent elder.

I was ambitious, but I really didn't feel like I just wanted the power or the position. I was an MS, Accounts Servant. I gave public talks in mine and surrounding congregations.

What I really wanted to do was international construction. I worked on quick builds supervising a crew, 28 projects in 4 years. During that time, I also worked on setup and tear down for every District Convention in our area, both English/Other Languages, and Spanish. I turned in one application for temporary construction work at Bethel, and heard nothing back. I waited awhile, until I had Aux Pioneered twice in the previous in the previous 6 months and turned in another app. Same thing, no response. I was getting tired of barely getting by while pursuing a goal that no one back at headquarters seemed to care about. I told my dad I was going to let it go. I think he could sense that it was a real turning point for me. A month or two later, a prominent brother from Bethel that my dad knew well (one of the Nethinem now, I think) came to visit and stayed with my parents. My dad told him the situation. He told him he would take care of it. Just submit an application as a father/son team and we would be in. I appreciate what he was trying to do, but that just was not going to work for me. I wanted to have the opportunity to do it because I was doing all I could to serve Jehovah and help people, not because my dad had a political connection that could take care of it. After that, I lost faith that Jehovah was reading my heart and directing the brothers. I just didn't see any evidence of it. Attitude did not make the difference. Service did not make the difference. Sincerity did not make the difference. Politics did. After that I had no ambition to do anything.

Tyrone van leyen

Bible reader is absolutely right. It is set up as a competition. I was a public speaker from Gr. 1 right through my high school years and won several trophies for it. I knew how to speak publicly, before I was even enrolled in the theocratic ministry school at 10 years old. The elders never saw fit to put me into anything beyong a number 2 talk. They hold all the strings. The presiding overseer was malicious enough to give me w's most of the time and never wanted to use my talents in the hall. I got a clear picture of this at a young age, and had no desire to compete and play there silly game. They tried to kill my passion and conviction throuhout my life. I guess I'd have to give them a big "W" for jealousy and an I for Imbecile. They can give there talks till there 100 years old, but still lack natural talent. I beleive anyone that has natural talent doesn't do very well in this game because charisma is frowned upon. This is the very problem the org. faces today. Too many half ass cheifs, and no real leaders. The system is designed for ass kissing and humiliation to acheive promotion unless your fortunate enough to be born in the inner circle. I wouldn't exactly call the elders talent scouts. It's more like and old boys club.

Lumptard

Raised in it....Baptized @ 14...aux. pioneer every summer for the next three years. Magazine servant. Mic handler. Watchtower reader. Started having my "privileges" reduced because my sideburns were even with the bottom of my ear instead of the middle and I wouldn't accept the "council" to shave them. When I was in it hardcore, I was very ambitious....constantly looking for things that I could do to show that I was "reaching out"..

done4good

The whole thing is set up as a competition!

Yes. That NEVER sat well with me.

j

OnTheWayOut

Thanks for your replies.

Lumptard, it might be a good thing that you had some strange elders
that cared about the length of your sideburns, or you coulda lasted longer.

I moved to a cong. for a short while (during a relocation of living arrangements)
and they decided to use me as an elder while I was there (I already was one
and I would be here up to 6 mos.).
The PO said I would have to shave off my moustache as none of the elders
has one. (I met them, they really didn't) I told him I thought that was very
strange, and I might not want to be an elder here.
He said "Gotcha, just kidding."

esw1966

I feel as if I was pretty ambitious.

I never had many 'priviledges' though. I was a screw up...

My dad left our family at age 12. My mom was a mess. It was just me and my sister. She wanted to leave the hall from time to time and we 'kept her in line'. (I feel really bad about that now!!! Her life was miserable and she was always shot down by others for doing her best! Now she is dead. Died a lonely, sad, depressed, friendless jw. )

I tried to follow the company line. Pioneered for 3 years, applied for Bethel (my 'claim to fame' ). My life as a jw went down hill from there. I liked a girl who had been my neighbor from early childhood. She was not 'dating' age. So I was punished for riding a roller coaster with her. Publicly reproved for it!!!

Soon I was 'kicked' off the pioneer list because of it. I think I missed out on Bethel for it too!

I had done 'the bookroom'. Got to be in front telling the elder of my great 'spiritual' goals for the future. It seemed I was doing my best, but I got BLASTED!

I went to school. Had all the people tell me, "Did you READ what the SOCIETY says about SCHOOL?!!" Yes, I did! (Ticked me off that my best friend, elder's son, 'abandoned' ME, his PIONEER PARTNER for school and that he was now going to have the good job while I was the BROKE pioneer!)

Soon, I got df'd for an affair. Reinstated. Then df'd AGAIN for writing online to women.

I was just DEPRESSED and in SEARCH of SOMETHING and I didn't know what it was I was LOOKING for!

So, I never made the high ranks. I aspired for them. Wanted to be the good man, the helper, the model, the good example.....

Now, I've FOUND WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR and I have NEVER been HAPPIER in my life!!! LOVING God, my church, and the Bible!!! AMAZED at how LOST and BLINDED I once was!

LOVING LIFE!!!!

Ethan

Vivamus

Ambition is my middle name, whatever i do, I aim for the top ..... so i had one huge problem: I don't have a Penis. That means that with all my intelligence, accounting skills, speaker skills etc etc, i could clean the frigging toilets as a symbol of my service to Jah.

I kinda had a problem with that

OnTheWayOut

ESW, thanks for sharing. Once again, a JW's own weaknesses become
his saviour and strength to get out of the borg.

Vivamus, you just spent the wrong years in the borg. A few years from now,
the JWD speculates that women will have to pick up the reigns as there won't
be enough men to keep the shrinking borg active.

How ambitious were you as a JW?

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