Former/Current Elders, MS, or anyone who wants to give their $.02 (page 2)

avidbiblereader

I remember as an elder ,one time a sister has a drug abusing husband that threatened to eat my heart out as my family helped her leave her violent and abusive situation, he later died of his abuse and never sought help, she could do nothing to improve the situation. It was ultimately in her hands as the situation got worse over time. God has called us to peace and no one should question another unless they walk a mile in their shoes. It is a personal and serious descision, the person has to answer to God and mate at the same time, it isnt an excuse for leaving but only they and God know how much a person can take. It is a personal descision that must be weighed heavily and especially if there are little ones to see all this behavior and also does a person want to break up a family.

Being a Christian doesnt mean to have "Welcome" stamped to our backs.

abr

I.Wonder

Thank you all soooo much!

IW

edited to add:

I didn't not see all of your responses until after I responded - it takes me a long time to type.

Again thanks a bunch! It helps me so much to see both sides of the story.

So what do you guys think? How would you suggest I react to my hubbie when he freaks out about me not going to meetings, without me seeming like a angry "apsotate"? (see my 3rd post on this thread)

Amazing

We had one 'sister' who played our KH piano for the meetings. her husband would hide her shoes just before she was to leave for the meeting. Or he might pull the wires on the distributer cap to keep her from starting her car. She took it all in good humor, and learned how to hide an extra pair of shoes in her car, and reconect the wires. Yes, we encouraged her to continue using humor ... and eventually her husband backed off after a few years. We got to meet him, and he was not really a bad guy. He never became a JW that I know of, but I think she faded some years later ... not too sure about that part.

Jim Whitney

willyloman

Go to counseling and invite him to join you; if he won't, go by yourself.

Take the therapist's advice, which will probably be that you should go back to work and start earning money so you can support yourself when the time comes.

You will get a lot of conflicting advice from guys who have never walked in your shoes; be gracious and polite, but ignore them and follow your instincts. This is really critical. What do your instincts tell you? You have to listen hard, because dubs are trained to squash their instincts and not listen to them. But you can do it.

zack

Your husband may simply be reacting to his fear of losing you. After all, he beleives the meetings, FS, etc... are the way to salvation. I would

reassure him that your relationship with him is not at risk. After all, you loved him BEFORE the "TRUTH", and your feelings haven't changed.

I will tell you, though, that as a JW elder, I have seen people choose the Org. over their mates. Although I had a sister with 2 kids and non-JW husband once tell

me: "what a moron I was!"----- this in response to her own story of wanting to leave her husband, the father of her children, for a religion.

I.Wonder

Thank for you replies guys. I guess when it comes down to it I am really afraid that my husband will leave me if I am no longer in the truth. Thats' what hurts so much! I don't know for sure if he would leave me, it's just some of the comments he makes gets me wondering.

Thanks,

IW

stillajwexelder

please clarify - do you mean a Christian wife - or a JW wife - the yare different. It is obvious what TRUE CHRISTIAN should/would do

I.Wonder

I meant a JW wife. I want to know what a JW should do. However (now that you mention it) I would like to know what a "TRUE CHRISTIAN" wife would do. I am sorry but it is no so obvious to me.

I appreciate your input!

Thank You,

IW

stillajwexelder

Jesus said "Turn the other cheek"

I.Wonder

"turn the other cheek" I am afraid I haven't got that one down just yet!

It is so hard for me to listen to him tear into me and not get defensive. I've never been the meek submissive wife that he has wanted me to be. I have really had to force myself to be a JW let alone a "christian". "turning the other cheek" isn't so easy (for me) when I am being machine gunned with accusations and insults.

My husband is wonderful and as I long as I got to the meetings and keep my trap shut about how I feel about the "truth" then things really are great. We enjoy hanging out together and most of the time we are laughing together rather than fighting. He really treats me good but the second he gets thinking that I am going to "fall out of the truth" he gets scared and then upset.

It's just hard for me to keep my mouth shut and continue to attend meetings regularly. I am really just venting. I am sorry I am dumping all of my crap onto all of you.

IW

Former/Current Elders, MS, or anyone who wants to give their $.02

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