Former/Current Elders, MS, or anyone who wants to give their $.02

I.Wonder

I was wondering what an Elder or MS might say to a wife who has an unbelieving mate?

Especially if her mate is in direct opposition of the “truth”. I don’t necessarily mean that her life in any physical danger. I’m more thinking along the lines of being harassed. Like every time she gets ready for a meeting he starts an argument. Or maybe he constantly slams her beliefs, causing her emotional stess/upset.

How should a “Christian” wife react in such circumstances (according to the wts)? Have any of you ex-brothers had to “encourage” a sister in this area? Have any ex-sisters here received said “encouragement”?

Sorry for all the dub speak! I didn't know how else to word this!

Thank You,

IW

Finally-Free

My mom was a JW, my dad was not. In spite of his harassment of her, the JWs still encouraged her to stay with him. She finally separated from him when I told her I was no longer playing the referee between them. By that time I'd had enough.

W

I.Wonder

How did she handle that? Did she stick up for herself or was she more passive about it all? If you don't mind me asking.

IW

moanzy

My unbelieving husband wasn't opposed to anything but the preaching work. I tried to explain how he felt about service and that I just didn't know what to do. I was told

that he would either finally give in or he would leave. It was said in a very OH WELL tone like my marriage being broken was no great loss.

Moanzy

Finally-Free

My dad was a drinker, and when drunk he could invent any excuse to start a fight. He blamed the JWs, but in truth, the problems were there long before we ever heard of the JWs. My mom didn't give in to his harassment over being a JW because it wouldn't have stopped the fighting - he would have simply found another excuse to start one. His harassment only reinforced her determination to be a JW.

W

moshe

The elders will take her aside and show her about the "absolute spiritual endangerment" WT loophole to help her get a divorce. During and after the divorce they will give her lots of support. Then they will dump her like a hot potato and she will become a pariah to the group and a continuing embarrassment to them. Their "truth" failed the test and was not stonger than the unbeliever's arguments. They also have a nagging doubt inside that the sister must have done something wrong, otherwise Jehovah would have helped her win the battle.

Been there and saw it all play out just like that with my ex-wife. Within a year after the divorce she and my kids started to feel the "marked" treatment from everyone at the KH. That was her first clue that I might have been right after all. It was all downhill for her after that.

minimus

Do the only right thing. Pray to Jehovah, walk away, go to meetings and realize Jah will bless you as you're being persecuted for righteousness.

reneeisorym

I went through this and received advice in the back room with the elders.

They told me that I should go to the meetings more and go out in service more. They said that if I set a better example, I might "win him over."

The same general response that they think fixes everything.

Renee

I.Wonder

Thanks Moanzy and Finally-Free for responses!

Let me tell you why I ask.

My husband and I are both JW's. He was born in and I started studying when I was 14. It took me like 7 or more years to finally get baptized. I had my doubts about the "truth" but I figured since my hubbie had gotten baptized that I should follow suit. Don't get me wrong I really did have spurts well I believed it was the truth but it would last.

I am trying to do a subtle fade but my hubbie is so suspicious of me. Every time I try to stay home from a meeting or from field service he gets really upset. It ends up in an argument of the "truth" is the "truth” and if I (IW) can't see that then there must be something wrong with me!"

I don't want to argue about whether the religion is right or wrong. I just want to stay home! I just want to fade away!
So today I thought to myself "how would the wife of with an unbelieving mate react?" "If I reacted to my husbands "persecution" of me not going to the meetings (and out in service) like a "good Christian wife" would react to her unbelieving mates "persecution" for going to meetings. Then maybe my hubbie wouldn't have anything to hold against me."

Am I being totally ridiculous? I want an honest answer, PLEASE!!

I really just want a non-defensive way of dealing with this. I don't know how to do that! When he lets into me I instantly want to tell him how the "truth" is a big joke and that I don't want to be apart of the Watchtowers mind control! If I react that way however it only makes things worse! He then accuses me of not being "spiritual" and that I am acting "worldly". I don't want to give him any reason to think that way. Is that even possible for me to do?

I hope this makes sense. Thanks for listening.

IW

skyking

It really depends on the body of Elders and if they think she is becoming damaged by her husband. What I mean is spiritual damage. If they feel he has a chance of persuading her to quit they we tell her she can divorce him on grounds of spiritual endangerment. They most likely will never tell her to do this but will mention strongly. Then the wives of the Elders will outright tell her she should leave. I has seen this several times and have even been the brother that has told a sister this.

Former/Current Elders, MS, or anyone who wants to give their $.02

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