by I.Wonder 24 Replies latest jw friends
I am sorry I am dumping all of my crap onto all of you.
How about dumpiing it your hubby? Have you sat down and had a heart to heart talk about your feelings? I'm not talking about a confrontation, just a "I have some issues, maybe you can help me" chat. It sounds like you have a good relationship and ought to be able to do that.
I have a friend who is fading now for over a year. She started doing research and finally just told her husband she was not going to attend meetings anymore. And she has done exactly that. I advised her not to let him pressure her into a discussion and not to reveal how she feels about the organization ever. If she does he will go straight to the Elders. Well today shes says her relationship with her husband is very good. She does not attend meetings except rarely when visiting her two grown children who are witnesses also. Her husband has finally stopped bringing it up but very occasionally and she is finally finding some peace at home. It takes time and patience but it can be done. Don't let your husband bate you into a discussion. Don't answer any question and just assure him you love him if you do and you just aren't interested in going to meetings and service any more period. The most important thing is when a spouse quits going to meetings is that the other mate figures the marriage is on the rocks too. You must do what you can to assure them you still love them you just are not going to meetings anymore. If they ask you if you still want to be a JW just don't answer either way. It will take a ton of self control, and patience but my friend has been successful.
Balsam
Have you sat down and had a heart to heart talk about your feelings?
Yes and it ended up being "maybe we should call the elders, they can help you" type of thing. However it is a good reminder for me to come from a place of "I need to confide in you" rather than "I hate this religion and it sucks". Non confrontational is definately the way to go. Thanks willyloman.
Balsam thanks sooo much for posting your friends experience. It really gives me something to think about and some hope as well.
IW
I was serving as an elder until just a few weeks ago, and now I have started my "fade"... Let me tell you, it is not easy, there has been some attempts by my "spiritually strong" wife to start arguments, especially about my coaching my son's basketball team and allowing the kids to have "worldly" friends. On the same note, she has also tried to be a good Christian wife as well, being positive and commending me when I do "take the lead" spiritually. It really blows playing both sides of the fence, but I would never go back to the way things were when I was completely engrossed in the cult.
My father, Presiding Overseer, told my wife that she should not discuss anything Scriptural or spiritual with me. Odd, given that the Bible doesn't allow for exceptions to 1 Corinthians 11:1-3.
