I need to get my husband some help... (page 2)

unique2u

((Mrsjones5)) I understand and can relate to a point, my husband can also have a horrible temper- almost like a switch flips.. One day he was in "a Mood" (you can almost sense a weird aura around him) and I made a sarcastic comment and ended up with a cordless drill thrown at me.. I left for a few days, I came back and we talked about the issue, he 100% understands and knows he has a problem and does do what he can to control it.. We believe, seriously, that it is a chemical imbalance in his brain ( his mom and brother also have that same switch temper ) He actually smokes marijuana, and that helps to control the switch- prescription meds always seemed to have some sort of jacked up side effect- way hyper, way down, doesn't feel right... Not saying go buy a bag and tell your husband "here, smoke this, eat this" :) I hope he is willing to address the problem for you and your son.. PS- if this is all crazy in one paragraph, I'm sorry-- FireFox user and didn't read up on how to format before...

Scully

Not saying go buy a bag and tell your husband "here, smoke this, eat this" :)

Honey.... I baked brownies!!!

LovesDubs

Ive been dealing with this exact thing for a few years now. And you MUST MUST MUST get the police involved in it. I say that because you are LIABLE for the safety of yoru children and if you DIDNT call the police and this happened before, and there is a record of it occurring and a PATTERN then they will tell you that YOU are just as responsible if it escalates and someone gets seriously hurt or husband has one of these rages and grabs a KNIFE or something and uses it before his enraged mind has time to think about the consequences.

My husband the JW has a TERRIBLE temper and it took him finally choking, beating and kneeling on my chest, and the District Attorney pressing battery charges against him, to make him finally see he was OUT OF CONTROL. But before then, I called the police on his violent acts and even tho they didnt do anything to him because he was breaking up stuff in his OWN HOUSE...they saw the violence, and there was a record of it.

If you dont call just because "he stopped" and then call back when it gets really bad and say yes this has happened before and they ask "Why didnt you call us THEN??" what will you say? And if you dont call them, and he hurts the kids or you, DCFS may decide that you arent fit to protect the kids either and will remove them from the home.

Dont let it get to that. He has to know you are serious and not that you are just going to DIAL and hang up. He will pick up on the fact that you are afraid to follow through and he will NEVER stop. Id been pleading with mine for 20 years to get help...it took this final incident for him to STOP.

Loves, the VOICE OF EXPERIENCE

unique2u

Right On Scully :)

serendipity

((( Josie & family )))

LovesDubs

PS....make sure you tell close friends or family that these incidents are occurring. Most abusers are totally different outside of the house and not a soul would suspect what goes on behind those walls. Who would believe you? Even when my husband beat the shit outta me, my neighbors were saying "she must have done something to provoke this because X is such a wonderful caring person."

Seriously....I was hearing that I "deserved it"...he had them all fooled.

sf

Jonesy,

I had no idea. He hasn't been this way for some time now, has he? Or has it been festering?

I've 'known' you and your family for some time now darlin' and this is disturbing to discover. You are also well aware of how I view this issue and that there is no time to waste in handling it...for the kids sake.

I would go to him, away from the kids, and as loving as I know you are (and feisty too, when need be), convey to him how you are feeling and what you are thinking in lines of a mother who protects their children from ANYONE that disturbs their well being, in every way. Point blank tell him all you have been observing as far as his temper. That you do see it escalating. And soon, others will too! The last thing you need or want is someone outside calling the police. That won't look good for you hon.

Jo, you of all people, do not deserve this. Nor do those precious children. NIP THIS IN THE BUD NOW! Not for him. For them.

I wish you well love. I'm only a click away.

Love, sKally

jaguarbass

Hello Josie. My backgorund is in law enforcement as a juvenile detention officer. If you call the cops, you will be entering the criminal justice system, or I should say he will be. The charge in Florida most likely would be domestic violence. It will preclude him from obtaining employment in many jobs. He could never be a nurse or a security guard or a school teacher. He will be partners or part of the system for the rest of his life. Their will be probation, jail time for breaking probation. And the anger and baggage that comes with that. Behavior originates with in. A person has to see the need to change their behavior. That need can be expressed through dialouge, talking. Since, you say he wont listen to you. I guess that means hopefully he will listen to your pastor. Does he have a father or mother or brother who could talk to him? If not I guess you would have to call law enforcement if he was beating you or your child. If he is not touching you or your child and it is mental abuse, perhaps you can get counseling. When I was a child my father was abusive also. The cops were called several times to the house. But that was in the 60's times and laws were different back then. Sometimes we find ourselves between a rock and a hard place. I'm just offering my perspective from Florida vs. I think you are in Indiana. Good luck and God bless.

MsMcDucket

That is why it never happened again in my house. My husband didn't like the thought of the consequences! Those consequences were 200 yards down the road, in body armour and with batons and they had cells. I was not afraid to use them if I needed to!
The same rule applys to everyone in our house!!!

Gill, you sound like me. MrsJones you have to protect your children.

MsMcDucket

Use the phone if you have to and NEVER hesitate!

Yeah! Accidentally, hit him upside the head with it.

I need to get my husband some help...

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