by The wanderer 52 Replies latest jw friends
I missed my sense of belonging when I gave up all my "worldly" friends and joined the JWs. No matter what I did, I couldn't fit in with them. At first it was a bitter pill for me to swallow, but as the years passed I became accustomed to solitude, and eventually began to prefer it. Now I have to force myself to get out and socialize with people. I force myself because I don't think excessive solitude is mentally or emotionally healthy. But I can only take people in small doses now.
W
I never felt I belonged as a JW, and I was born in, and I never felt like I've belonged once I left, or in the years since, maybe not everyone gets to feel like they belong somewhere, or maybe just not everyone gets to find the place where they do?
I did at first when I first left but I had the support of a wonderful man who loved me. But gradually I got angry when I read all the things the religion decieved me on and that killed the missing part. Then I began for other support systems I could be comfortable with through other organizations, some religious, some hobby groups. It worked and today I have lots of friends. Don't miss anything about the JW's anymore. Its been 5 1/2 years.
I never had a sense of belonging at the hall. A few times it started to go down the road to me belonging but it all fizzled. Mostly the whole time I was going I felt like a stranger on the outside looking in.
Yes; my life has been a roller coaster ever since I left just over a year ago. I jumped - last minute - head first into a career as a lawyer. I opened up to others and and received in return. I found great support and precious people; they saved my life. But it means working 12 hours a day. I am tired. I also met someone very precious to me that I opened up to after many barren years of holding back. I love her with all my heart. Always will. We seperated a couple of hours ago. I feel lost once again. This is an understatement. Mainly I lost my God. There is little to fall back on except for the few precious friends I will always have. I was always an outsider, but at least the fairy tale was sweet. Life turned out to be a mystery after all.
Roy
Hi Roy Just to let you know I am thinking of you and I hope you are getting some rest and also finding a way to cope with the sense of loss which I know troubles you. I hope like me you eventually begin to see the gain is great and balances out some of that loss. Nothing can really balance out the scales when we lose loved ones except perhaps finding new loves and enthusiasms - sometimes we have to compromise and accept lots of smaller loves (the humans that we meet and bond with as friends) in exchange for our bigger loves - parents, siblings, lovers. Peace to you my friend! Nina In answer to the thread I never felt any sense of belonging anywhere in any organisation, job, school, family or place - especially not in the hall. I have however learnt to embrace being a misfit - which Mr C calls making a virtue of necessity and not addressing the problem. Each to their own eh!
In considering WHAT and WHO we belonged to (were a possession of), my answer has to be no. I'm not property, nor do I need someone to tell me how to live my life.
Frannie
The thing is, all that sense of belonging was based on unreality. We had no foundation and when we lost our brainwashing mindset, see how not belonging we really were..
::Mostly the whole time I was going I felt like a stranger on the outside looking in.
Same here, I never felt a "sense of belonging" when I was a witness, the whole idea of doing things with groups of people has never really appealed to me. Even now I have very few people I let inside my circle of trust.
I think there was also a sense of empowerment that went with that belonging. Something to lean on to make you feel better then others, when times were hard. That is also part of the drug feeling of a cult. I do not miss it, but I never leaned on it all that much as a Witness. I know some who would have a hard time living without it.
No, I do not- I appreciate my freedom.
