Coeur d'Alene Idaho, this is where we call home. It's got everything you wanted in your list, and....I'm in the mortgage business, hehe. Can help you out if you need it.
You might be seen as more trustworthy if you weren't using a second rate pirate as your avatar! LOL
Based on the wish list presented, in my mind, New Mexico came to mind . Maybe something on the outskirts of Albuuerque.
New Mexico is a beautiful state.
I hear Albuquerque can be a tricky place - one wrong turn on your way to Miami Beach, and who knows where you'll turn up!