Advice for daughter please

AuntieJane

Ok, I'm a perpetual mom. My 24 yoa daughter has been back in college and did OK this past semester. But not what she is capable of, grade-wise. Since she's been home on Xmas break I see she spends way too much time on the internet, and procrastinates really bad. She has been working, and pleasant to be around, though. She did work on herself this last yr and I have praised her for that. I want to say something about these two bad habits (which, I admit she has 'inherited' traits of both her father and myself ;o)...but I want to tell her in a positive way, without her blowing me off. She'd do this in the past, but with the maturity I've seen peeking through recently, I think she'd take some constructive criticism if I can word it in a positive light.

Most of you have such a good way with words, I'm asking for your help!

Elsewhere

Tell her to get her act together or I'll come over and give her a spanking!

Oh, never mind... that'll just encourage her current behavior.

AuntieJane

LoL E, love your sense of humor!

AuntieJane

btt

avidbiblereader

Who is paying for college, money talks like the old saying, i have heard of quite a few parents who were not willing to keep footing the bill if there is not effort on the other part. Maybe if the grades fall below a certain level unless a solid reason, you could divide the payment on college between her and you based on performance. She might as well get use to it, performance is going to be required in the real world.

abr

becca1

I have a daughter who I have in the past called an "underachiver". She is brilliant, but somehow never took school too seriously. She made decent grades but I knew and she knew they could have been much better. Well, I've learned a few things since then. For some of us, living up to our potential is very important and we strive to do so in every aspect of our lives. For others, getting by is OK. You said your daughter's grades were OK. Be grateful for that, praise her and love her unconditionally. We are all different, what makes one person tick may stress another person out Try to view your daughter as the unique individual that she is and realize that there is more than one road to happines. Success is differnt for different people. If she's happy and productive, let her find her own pace..

kitten whiskers

You're a great mom! I want to share a website with you, I hope that's not against the rules! Its flylady.net

This website is AMAZING! It is all about doing things a little at a time until you have a system built up that keeps you "flying". Her word "FLY" stands for finally loving yourself. It is for people like me who are procrastinators and perfectionists! It was started for keeping things running at home and menu planning, but it is such a great motivational "I can do anything for 15 minutes" system that all ages love it. She has added a section for college students just like your daughter. Even younger school age children are loving it! If your daughter loves being on the internet, she will enjoy reading the testimonials and praise for these systems! Best of all the encouragement and "control journals" that help you stay on track are free. You just print them out. I really hope you check it out and enjoy the positive motivation and love and caring she and her helpers put into the sight. My doctor recommended it to me while I was feeling overwhelmed! I am so glad she did! The positive thinking and little steps to light that fire under you add up and show you that you can do it!!!! PLEASE check it out! It is so much better to find help at organizing than suffer from procrastination because the feeling of being overwhelmed! (((((Hugs))))))

Kitten Whiskers

kitten whiskers

Here's how to find the control journal. I guess it's aimed more at middle schoolers or high schoolers, but should help her be able to set priorities and focus better. I wish I would have had an organization system sooner! I hope you like it.

www.flylady.net

Click on the "table of contents" on left side of page. Then go to the FlyZone box and click on Flylady's control journals. This will take you to the point where you can click on the student journal.

Kitten Whiskers

AuntieJane

Avid,thanks for the reply. She is paying her own way. We helped her for 2 yrs Assoc. degree, then beauty school. This is all on her own.

Becca, Thanks so much. I needed to hear your words. I am proud of her; she is more of a free spirit. I have 2 'traditional' adult kids, then this one who marches to her own drummer but always has. It's OK with me, but it bugs the heck out of me to see so many hours of time 'wasted'...esp when she is so creative and talented. maybe Kitten has the rest of the answer!

Thanks, Kittenwhiskers for the website. I am excited to check it out! It will no doubt be beneficial for me too!

AJ

sass_my_frass

Nah, 24 is old enough for her to be choosing her own pace. As she's paying her own way, if she fails something she'll pick up her pace immediately.

Advice for daughter please

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