Why I'm mad at god.

by Abandoned 45 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  restrangled

  Abandoned....

  I feel your pain about fellow employee problems.

  In most circumstances no matter how bad it is, maintain your dignity and ignore it. Your time will come and if you have a good reputation.... that, will eventually win out. I worked for an attorneys office and was immediately assigned to an old military veteran who thought he owned the world. I was bombarded with ignorant boring stories, dirty jokes etc., but because I was under the 90 day trial rule, I didn't dare say a word.

  In addition, I was being verbally attacked by a very large, short secretary who had been there for many years. (she kept calling me "Barbie" as in the doll in a very negative way.)

  After my 90 days were up, I was requested by another attorney. I eventually won over the secretary who initially did not like me, just by being nice and laughing at her comments. She actually became one of my dearest supporters in that office.

  Because I had worked so hard and kept my temper, one of the top attorneys in the office wanted me for his secretary. The second attorney I worked for and this guy battled for days over me. (I must say it felt quite nice to be so wanted) , but the lesson is hang on and your reputation will carry you.....eventually.

  The attorney I initally started with was fired, but kept coming back to the office to visit. I went to HR and reported my dilema to them and they banned him from the office.

  All this took place over a year, but eventually ......what goes around comes around.....so hang in there, build up your reputation.....and it will fall into place.

  Merry Christmas, and don't feel so bad, .....you have much worth.

  r.
• 

  tijkmo

  sometimes i read accounts like these and i have to force myself to reply..but i usually do..and its because someone replied to me when i felt the same way..

  i lost the will to live..and i still havent got it back..but at least i have lost the will to die...well most of the time..

  i cant make other relationships work..i am facing bankruptcy..and i dont understand why god would not allow me to fix my mistakes when he knew damn well i was willing to..

  but the upside is i'm unembarrassable, bankruptcy will be a step up for me, and i get to go to college and study my chosen subject of music..

  time heals nothing..but doing something can numb the pain..

  tijkmo..of the blue pain fades till it doesnt fade class
• 

  Schism

  Hang in there Abandoned

  That guy totally ratted himself out by running to tattle on you for being "homophobic". First of all, you can't get fired for being "homophobic", and second, if his superior has any brains whatsoever, he will see that this dude obviously ran to tattle first in order to look innocent. I just don't see any way this could work out in his favor. If they do, contact a lawyer. You can sue the company for allowing a sexual predator to harass you and then punishing you for defending yourself.

  I agree with the others about declaring bankruptcy. It sounds like a good idea.

  I hope you're feeling better now!
• 

  Wild_Thing

  I'm sorry things are so rotten right now. It does no good to blame to god, though. Being mad at god is like being mad at Santa Claus. They are the realm of reality. I can sympathize, though. I went through a period of being mad at god, too. It did me no good, though. It didn't make me feel better, and it didn't fix it.

  It always irritated me when I heard people say that god helped them or hurt them. It made no sense to me. If a kid is dying of cancer, they pray to god and want other people to pray to god to save her. If she survives the cancer, well then they say it was god that did it! Their prayers were answered! But what about little Susie Bobo on the next street who died of cancer? How come god let her die? It is ridiculous to think some invisible imaginary person has that much power over us.

  Shit happens ... that's just life. All we can do is learn from our mistakes when possible, and when not possible, try to change our reaction to it. I know this sounds sorta metaphysical, but when I encounter a problem (or many), it helps me to tell myself that this is just an oppotunity for me to grow as a person and maybe become a little wiser. I know ... it sounds corny. But it works for me!
• 

  Hannah

  I just feel so sick and tired of fighting only to find out that I've only risen up to the bottom

  I can totally relate to that! This has been an extremely rough year on me too, but I'll spare you the details since this thread is about you. My heart empathizes so much for you. Sometimes when you're down it just feels as though you keep getting cut off at the knees every time you try to get up. I find myself angry at my parents for bringing me into this hell hole and then having the whole JW prospect of living forever....pleeeeease. That's one thing to be very thankful for--being freed from the borg. It truly is a struggle to keep a sunny outlook with a big rain cloud hanging over your head. Take it one day at time, and try not to be so hard on yourself or God (although this can be difficult). We are here for you, and we do care for you. If you need any one to talk to pm me. Sending you a big e-hug.
• 

  Abandoned

  Thanks everyone. I'm getting better. I appreciate all of you for your kindness, especially since I lost my cool towards the beginning of this post. What can I say? Thanks again everyone.
• 

  deeskis

  ((((abandoned))))

  Christmas can be a happy time, however it can also be a highly stressful time for many, and a time when depression can set in or get much worse. Please take it easy and get through this, hope you're feeling better.

  D
• 

  kitten whiskers

  Hello Friend. I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! (((abandoned)))

  I can't say I have walked in your shoes, because I haven't. But I've walked on the financial crisis path. There are times it gets to the point for awhile where you feel it would be better to be dead. The bill collectors start to harrass you. They call day after day, like Ed McMann just showed up with a million dollar check at your door and your circumstances to pay have magically appeared. I remember telling one, look, I'm already behind on my mortgage and I'm just trying to not lose my house and have heat for my babies. (It was cold, -20 and we only had a kerosene heater and a fireplace in the living room. The temperature in the morning was about 52 inside the house and that was after getting up several times each night to feed the fire and check the heater. A morning track out through the snow to the woodpile and several trips to gather enough wood to dry before I needed to use it. It was hard. And pumping that kerosene into 5 gallon containers in the cold and wind, driving the slippery roads..... well, they say what doesn't kill makes you stronger. The ceiling in the kitchen leaked every time it rained. Had to put out rubbermaid containers to catch it...there's more, but I'll spare you. And now I look back and am proud that I made it.I am also in awe of our ancestors who lived worse than this and felt better off than their ancestors!

  Still have bills that need to be settled, but the first year the furnace was fixed, every time it kicked on I realized what a blessing it was that I had taken for granted. Still appreciate that sound. I remember lying in bed back then thinking what do I have to be thankful for. And I thought, well, I have a warm and dry bed. I have enough to feed my family, and I have them. Sometimes just thinking of something worse than what you have to deal with can give you the strength to go on. I thought about the poor homeless who didn't have such luxury. Those in poor nations who would think me a queen to see my carpeting and not dirt floors. I remember a friend saying "You gotta look at the bright side or you'll go insane". He didn't even know what I was going through, but was speaking of his own experiences. He had just been through a lot.

  Hang in there. "This too shall pass". This was about 5 years ago. Hubby has a great job. We moved south (NO HARSH WINTER). Kids are healthy and in school. House is comfortable and inviting. Left jws. Celebrated first christmas. Everyones had a birthday party. We are content, peaceful and happy. There is still bill juggling, but I think everyone who isn't obsenely wealthy has those issues. There was a thread on here about 2 weeks ago or so that talked about how some are in debt up to their eyeballs to maintain a way of life that looks like they have it all together. My in-laws are like that. When they are older, I'm afraid we'll have to support them. They have always lived above their means. They look well off. He makes great money, but they are mid 50's and keep re-financing their house and only outright own one old truck and maybe a boat. Everthing else is payments. This has scared me. They will leave us bills when they go. But thats putting the cart before the horse.

  I hope hearing that others have had tough times and felt despair help you through. It's a tough spot to be in. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I will say it helps me think of others more. I'm not one to let people know my problems. My own mother didn't know much neither did my best girlfriend. There is pride and privacy issues that make it hard to share. I love my husband more than anything and never wanted to minimize his sacrifice and all he has always done to put us first. But time and unforseen occurance befall us all. He is still my SuperMan. I am a very fortunate woman to have him. Your posts seem to reveal some beautiful qualities in you as a person. I admire your tenderheartedness and honesty. You seem to be a kind person and I wish the best for you. When you need a boost or validation, just ask. We're here.

  Kitten Whiskers
• 

  bernadette

  I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! (((abandoned)))

  I do too (((((((((((((ABANDONED))))))))))))))

  Your experiences at your job sound like being back at the kingdumb hall!

  Bernadette
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  Apostate Kate

  {{{{{{{{{NotAbandonded}}}}}}}}}}}}

  I read your post right after you posted it and I have been very sad for you. I did not have time to say the things I wanted to say until now.

  You know how I feel about you. You have made a huge contribution to the life of nearly 100 lonley Seniors, and this is just the beginning.

  Because of our lead in this, other churches are getting on board and will be reading your exerpt. Many more lonely forgotten Seniors will be reached and their lives changed by regular vists by commited new friends.

  I can't make you see the beauty of the light in your heart only the God that you are angry with can. And He can handle your anger. He loves you just the way you are.

  When we went to deliver Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve, I had a team of 4 women and 1 very special child with me. I wish you could have seen her. She is 9 years old and lead the way. She was not afriad of the seniors who were lingering near death, or the appearance of some, she took every gift, sang them a song, gave them a hug, helped them unwrap their gifts in ways only a beautiful innocent child can do.

  Her hugs give them life. Oh Thomas...there is so much beauty in the world and I know that it is inside you. I know because of the words you gave me. The picture you painted. I'm so sorry you have been in so much pain, I do understand that pain. But never give up on tomorrow.

  I love you,

  Kate