Why I'm mad at god.
by Abandoned 45 Replies latest jw friends
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BabaYaga
It's true Abandoned... folks just don't know what to say when things suck and we can't think of an easy answer... so... I'll just say... HUGS and strength to you, Hon... and it WILL get better.
OH, this might cheer you up... well, you see... as I was typing this fast, when I went to type HUGS to you... I just kept hitting the J instead of the H. It happened 3 times fast (I'd backspace and hit the wrong one again) and it cracked me up. So... whether that means boobs or cocktails to you, Dear Abandoned... the phrase demanded to be typed... JUGS to you, Man!!!
Love,
Baba. -
Abandoned
I'm sorry I'm such a downer tonight. The last time I felt this bad I woke up three days later in a hazy fog, restrained to a hospital bed because apparently I kept pulling out the IV needles. I don't know whether I care whether I figure my way through this or I give up. Nearly everyone thinks I'm an optimist and I thought I was one too, but I don't want to find out what bad is going to happen next I don't.
I'm feeling a little better. I like the hugs. I smiled at the jugs comment. There's a person here somewhere.
I'm watching a show right now dealing with a guy who lost everything he had from Katrina. I know this guy has lost more than I lost and I know he's more righteous than I am.
Thanks for the hugs though.
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Little Drummer Boy
Hi Abandoned,
Just saw your thread here and I don't know if I have any words in me that will help. I don't know if I can sooth you or make you feel better. But know this, I care about you. We all care about you. I don't know if there is a god or not and if there is why he/she/it would put us through all that we go through. I have enormous respect for you being in the medical field and taking care of patients like you describe in your post. My wife is a nurse and worked at a nursing home for years (although she doesn't anymore). I could only barely begin to imagine what she had to go through, but I know it was hell sometimes. The endless paperwork, inspections, patient relatives who would give the staff a hard time, and just the general depressing mood of such a facility are something I could never handle. I'm just not tough enough. Like her though, you must be in that line of work because you are one of the people in this world who really cares about and wants to help others. You are able to go in there day after day and put up with all the crap so that you can get down to the real business of taking care of those that need it. You are amazing for that.
I hope that something in what I said helps a little. If you ever need to talk or vent or whatever, please feel free to pm me here or email me on the myspace account.
Yours with warm friendship,
LDB
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wednesday
I'm sorry life has dealt you a bad hand.. Life is just not fair, honestly. Some have it good, some have all kinds of problems. I was once a naive person, helped everyone, gave to poor, orphans widows, etc, but I got dumped on until I got a clue. You will have to start protecting yourself and remember the first person you need to help is you. make sure you are safe first. After you make sure you are safe, then help others as you can.
I believe in god, but don't count on him to keep you safe or protect you from people.
The sexual harassment problem-that is tough. We live in a bizzare world. Always report sexual harrassment ,don't try and be nice, it just does not work. Tha may sound cold, but it is the truth. Just report it and let the mangement deal with it,
Unexpected medical bills are a sad and sorry fact of american life. We had to file for bankruptcy last year. i would suggest you give this some thought. It can really help wipe the slat clean. It is the only way to handle a medical bill that large.
I'm not sure why others are not replying but I was afraid to reply b/c I am pretty sure no matter what I say, you are going to jump on me, or say "yes but" and I'll just be another insult on your long list of insults. I don't mean that you have not had problems, serious problems, but I notcie you have someone to blame for everything. I used to do the same thing, but a few years in theapy has helped me rip that scarlet V (for victim) of my chest.
weds
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NowImFree
Hi Abandoned,
I can so totally relate to what you are feeling. A have been a Christian for the past 4 years since leaving the JWs. I have just had the worst year of my life. I have been hit with financial, legal, family troubles, health, you name it. I have to sell my home to get out of legal debt due to the legal troubles of someone in my family. I am a single parent so I am trying to deal with this pretty much alone. I also was recently diagnosed with Graves desease so I am having lots of problems with that, and a job that is so stressful I break out in hives and rashes. However, I have had great friends in all this and I have found out who my true friends are too. This year has been absolutely insane and I have wondered at times, why God is letting all this stuff happen. People have told me that like Job, my faith is being tested and maybe I will learn something in all of this, which really doesn't make me feel better at all. I don't really have a good answer other than the fact that, just when I think I can't take anymore, someting happens or a friend calls to comfort me and someone does something kind, and then I feel he really is there sending some comfort just in the nick of time. I do believe this is some kind of test, why I don't know but I don't think it can last forever. I can totally relate to that scripture about about walking in the valley of the shadow of death. This place can be crap and people can be both wonderful and awful. If I have learned anything in all these trials, it is that I am much less judgemental than I used to be, which was something that carried over from being a JW, and I am having to learn a lot of patience with people that are driving me nuts, and sometimes I am totally failing at that too. And, I have found true friendship with the few who have really been there for me. I have been shocked my some who I thought would be there for us, and haven't been, and the ones who I never expected who have been.
I hope things go better for both of us in 2007 and whatever you do, don't give up. You are in a valley right now and there is light at the end of the tunnel even when you can't see it yet.
Take care,
NowImFree
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praiseband
Hey Abandoned, I'm sorry you're going through this. My family's been having some problems that have some similarities to yours and it can seem so overwhelming. I know some of the other posters have offered to give you a phone call, and perhaps you even know some of them personally. Please call them or allow them to call you. When we can lean on our friends or family it can really lift the burden from us, and it's okay to share. I heard someone last week saying that we so often keep things to ourselves because we don't want to bother others or seem weak. But what we fail to see in doing that is that we can actually become just what the other person needs to fulfill their calling, or gift, to help others. If someone else can help you step by step through just one day or issue at a time it is so much easier. We don't need to deal with everything at once, and sometimes the perspective of another person who is not so emotionally involved in the issues can see how to prioritize with much greater clarity. Also, our family went and talked to the finance people at the hospital that provided care and had the bill greatly reduced because the hospital dedicates itself to providing a certain amount of care at reduced cost to those in need. You are in my prayers and I have faith that God does listen. Praise
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MsUrsy
"sixty-one views and only one comment
I know how you feel...sometimes I will write things and never get a comment..I wonder for a bit if there are even cliques here in the forum...I just ran from cliques in the Kingdom Hall...it can be discouraging...but I am not going to stand on a hill and scream.."hey, look at me"...If people want to respond..then respond..if not..oh well...I am not into cliques and have never fit in to a certain mold...That is okay! As for you being angry at God....I can understand..I was mad at him in the KH, There were times our whole family was treated so poorly and of no importance....that I felt like..."what the hell did our family do to be treated like Job?"....I have even begun to feel that the bible is just a book...nothing more...I still believe in something....just don't know if it is the bible and the god it describes in it any longer...and before anyone gets upset at my statement..sorry if it offends you..but I feel for the first time in many years I am able to have an opinion without someone telling me it is wrong to have one..:)..Hope your Christmas is a good one....Ursula
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Mystla
I hit rock bottom a few years ago.. once you hit bottom there is no place left to go but up.. so get up!! Stop wallowing in misery and self-pity, things will get better! (this is meant as tough love, not to be cruel)
I viewed this thread three times before I posted on it.. don't take the number of times viewed so seriously.. some of us are just slow.
Btw, bankruptcy is not the end of the world.. it's not fun either, but sometimes it is a solution.. I did it and I've stayed debt free for several years now, it feels great..I may drive a beater car, but it's paid for.. my clothes may be a little worn around the edges.. but hey, they're comfy! I know that "making do" isn't glamorous.. but it's so much easier on me mentally and emotionally than owing money was.. The hospital bill needs to be part of your past, make it so.
Your job is just your job, it's not your life. How the people there feel or think about you matters a lot less than you think it does. It's ok if they all dislike you or whatever. If you get fired over some false crap that s.o.b made up about you.. no it's not fair, but life just isn't fair and a lot of this shit is going to come your way. Try to duck when you can and sling it back when it hits you.
Too many cliches? Sorry, maybe I shoulda viewed this thread a few more times before I posted
(((HUGZ))) (I don't hand these out very often..but you really need em)
Misty
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sass_my_frass
I hope that this rotten time passes... keep it together bub