I lost my parents today cause of the Dubs...Uggggh!!

by FreedomFrog 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • dobbie
    dobbie

    <<<<FREEDOMFROG>>>>

    I'm really sorry you have to go through this ff, i know it really sucks but stay strong for your family, and be true to yourself. I think you've handled this news really well, and if your mum does change her mind at some point and want contact again you're making it easier for her to do so by the calm way you spoke and what you said to her. Have a great day with your new found family tomorrow - my husband recently discovered more non jw relatives than he thought he had and we are staying with them boxing day, its really helped him knowing he's got extra support. Meantime, we are all here for you so if you need to vent just do it!Debbie

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    I know that many of the posters here do not share this view, but I think that grandparents are immensely important in the lives of children, even if some problems come with it. Especially now that mom does not want to speak to you. They are still family. This does require balance and patience, but I do not think you have anything to fear from occasional visits to grandma's house. Your children will not like it if grandma downs you to them and will likely report back anything negative she says, so you can change the arrangements at a later time if it becomes necessary.

    I do not want to be like the cold selfish organization that uses children as pawns. These are their relatives, and they should grow up deciding for themselves the course they wish to take in life. Undoubtedly they will side with your views as you are their mom and do not take them to any Kingdom Hall. In fact, you could take them on a Friday evening and pick them up Saturday evening to eliminate any threat of them taking taking the kids to a Sunday meeting.

    I just hope family love prevails and your children are not deprived of those who care about them. I think grandma will soften over time and look for occasions where "family business" needs to be discussed.

    Remember, at one time we felt as your mom does. It is not her fault. She is torn and trying to please God as she wholeheartedly believes is right.

  • FreedomFrog
    FreedomFrog

    HI DIANNE!!!!!!!! Glad to see you sweetheart. My phone isn't working properly so if you tried to call I''m having problems with it. I'm taking it in to have it fix next week.

    There is lots of good advice here. I don't want to take the grandbabies away from my parents. I probably will let them have them on a Saturday and go watch a movie while they have them. I know Zach hate the Borg. He hated going to the meetings. He also don't agree with the shunning thing because his dad (Almost Athiest) is being shunned by them. I will play it by ear, if they respect my feelings on not teaching them, then things should go smoothly but if I get report (which Zach will) that they are, I'll have to figure something out. In the meantime I will make sure my parents can see them when they want.

    I do hope they soften up in the future. I know that with my sister, my parents told my nephews that their mom was going to die at armagedon because she was doing "bad" things. The "bad" things was going to a different church. Of course this scared my nephews and my sister ended up moving far away. My parents haven't seen them for about 4 years.

    On the positive side, my Uncle called me again and told me that there is a big family reunion in July and close to 150 of my family members will be there. Most live close to me. They did this every year as a tradition for as long as I can remember but my parents wouldn't go because of "bad association". Now is my chance to get to know more of my roots.

  • loosie
    loosie

    Well Freedom Frog, you are being more fair than I would be.

    My motto is "you don't accept me than you don't accept my kids"

    You are a bigger woman than I am.

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