Just Want To Be Heard

by dubstepped 30 Replies latest jw experiences

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  brandnew

  BRAVO ! ! !
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  brandnew

  You totally rocked that poem ! ! !
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  Giordano

  I don't hate Jehovah's Witnesses and don't ascribe all of the negative motives to them that some do, as I generally see them as well intentioned.
  

  Most of us don't hate the JW's it's the teachings and polices of the WTBTS that is most disturbing.

  Eric Hoffer, a working blue collar social philosopher wrote The true Believer in 1950. In the book he discusses the nature of mass movements. Since he didn't reference the JW's it's a clean read on how a social, political or religious movement applies it's teachings, thoughts or arguments to it's followers. I read it at the age of 16 then forgot about it until I was pioneering where the need was great and had been invited to serve in various positions in the small congregation. Feeling dissatisfied with the polices, teachings and it's literature I went back and reread it and it was now clear as a bell.

  the effectiveness of a doctrine does not come from its meaning but from its certitude. No doctrine however profound and sublime will be effective unless it is presented as the embodiment of the one and only truth. It must be the one word from which all things are and all things speak

  An active mass movement rejects the present and centers it's interest on the future. It is from this attitude that it derives it's strength, for it can proceed recklessly with the present- with the health, wealth and lives of it's followers. But it must act as if it has already read the book of the future to the last word. Its doctrine is proclaimed as a key to that book.
  

  The WT is always certain about what it says until they change it. Nor do they ever say 'we got it wrong you can take blood factions now, you can get vaccines, you can now get a transplant.' No apologies to the dead, or those crippled for life who followed their polices. No provision for higher education so you can better take care of yourself and your family instead it can proceed recklessly with the present- with the health, wealth and lives of it's followers.

  That is what most of us hate.

  
  
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  OnTheWayOut

  A big welcome to you. While I don't share your not "have[ing] hate in [your] heart for the organization that [you] spent most of [your] life in," I also don't wish to insist that your pain should cause you to hate it. Just try to understand how some were burned terribly by their JW experience and recognize that some have their own reasons to hate Watchtower. The people can be wonderful, but misled. Some are jerks, but that is true everywhere. And I give a little extra consideration that the organization makes them bigger jerks or "well-intentioned" and "overzealous to the point of lunacy" as you put it. It's great that you have your wife awakening with you.

  And as far as your loving "Jehovah," that alone won't ruffle the feathers of some. It's only when they preach here and insist we do the same that our feathers get ruffled. I know that's hard to read between the lines, but believers and unbelievers here can have common ground. As you say, "To each his or her own."

  Thanks for the poem and for sharing your feelings with others here. That's something that can help- honest sharing of feelings.
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  steve2

  dubbstepped, you are a very verbally expressive man and in that regard, a rarity. Your wife is lucky to have a husband so much in tune with 'where he's at'. It hurts and you rightly feel the need to cautiously and respectfully express it.

  As regards loving Jehovah, there ain't nothing wrong with that - except to note that it can at times feel like a chronically one-sided affair - kind of like meeting and "loving" someone through the internet and suddenly realizing it all dissipates with the flick of the off-button.

  Jehovah is as strong and loving as you are. Look in the mirror - wear a lovely smile, give yourself a friendly wink: That is Jehovah. He ain't "out there" looking in, He's you,inside, looking out. If that makes sense to you, you are doing far, far better than lots of others who grapple with an Old Testament vision of a jealous, exacting God who brooks no disobedience. Put this down, dubbstepped, and look in the mirror.
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  Vidiot

  Kid's got talent.

  dubstepped - " I don't have hate in my heart for the organization..."

  That... may change after a bit.

  I didn't either when I faded, but these days... well, all I can say is, it takes a bit of effort.

  Love your username, BTW; frankly I'm surprised no one's ever thought of it before.
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  dubstepped

  So many posts to address, but I'll again chime in with a heartfelt "thanks" for the kind words.

  When I said what I said about not hating the dubs, that was just to state where I was, not meant as an indictment against any who feel that way. I totally understand the hate, and honestly I've been there at times when the pain got too big. I know that people want to label any dissenters as "apostates" and "evil", but what I see here is tremendous pain. Every person that I've ever talked to that was once a dub and that isn't any longer seems to have an abundance of hurt inside over many things. Hurt shows that a person still cares, as the opposite of love isn't hate, it is apathy. People wouldn't spend their time on sites like this if they didn't still care on some level, whether they care for the reputation of Jehovah, for their friends and family still in the organization, for the pain that they themselves endured at the hand of the organization, or whatever.

  Also, just to add a little background without too many specifics, this journey isn't new to us. We've been inactive for a few years, as we could no longer invite others to join us in an organization that we weren't feeling good about. That's disingenuous, and just not our style. This has been coming for some time. I've had to fight through tremendous cognitive issues to come to a site like this where people openly speak negative of something that I once held so dear. In fact, I asked my wife if it was okay for me to post here because I didn't want to offend her. I also didn't want to feel like I was somehow furthering hatred of JW's. I just wanted to feel like others understood, even though I knew many did from reading her for some time.

  I really appreciate your responses, more than you'll probably ever know, even if I don't necessarily agree with everything. It is nice to not feel compelled to think and feel a certain way like I was for so many years.
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  Tornintwo

  Just read your latest post and went back to read this one too - I think it's great, you are quite a writer.

  I am where you are too, I still believe in God/Jehovah (bit confused about which name to use right now though) and I still find comfort in the scriptures, but I can't believe this is the only true organisation chosen by God considering the way they treat people and their judgemental attitudes and conditional love. not Christlike

  Ive realised I don't have to have all the answers straight away, but don't have to lose my faith entirely either, its going to be a slow process to help myself and my kids, but theres no rush. Armageddon isn't about to happen after all!

  Hope you keep healing and the doubts and torments leave your mind soon....
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  dubstepped

  Hi Tornintwo (great name that really hits the heart of the matter).

  Thanks for the kind words. I'm a lot like you too in the way that I see the organization. The process of wading through everything doesn't have to be an either/or proposition. That black and white thinking is what the organization teaches, true or false religion, with nothing in between. I see the organization much like Israel in the Bible, a mess. Some good intentions, some bad, some just mindless robots following their chosen leaders. Some truth, some manipulations, some lies, and everything in between. Ultimately it is up to me to make sure of the more important things, to use my powers of reason, to make the truth my own, and so on. It isn't up to a few guys in New York that vote on beliefs to determine how I think, how I feel, and how I go forth in life.

  My parents once made fun of my uncle for saying "my truth may not be your truth" because truth is an all or nothing proposition to them. If life has taught me anything it is that things can work out with similar results even when done in totally different ways. There truly are different roads leading to the same destination whether it is how you drive your car to the zoo or how you paint a room or how you design your garden, or even how you have a relationship with God. Why would we all think that our relationship with Jehovah has to follow a prescribed course of feelings and actions? Two people can be friends with the same person in totally different ways. Parents often love their kids but have totally different relationships with them. Everything in the organization is expected to be one way. They leave little wiggle room. Sure, you can find some truly kind and compassionate articles in magazines, but often the one right before or after it on the same subject has a very rigid and uncaring attitude. They can't even get cohesion in their own message, so don't think for a minute that there's only one way to do this.

  Best wishes to you on your journey as well. :)
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  TheListener

  Dubstepped I didn't respond to this thread earlier but I want to say welcome to the board. You have a great writing style. I'm glad your wife is on this journey with you.