by Mary 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mary


    De Judge hated Christmas!
    The whole Christmas season!
    Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
    It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
    It could be, perhaps, that his underwear was to tight.
    But I think that the most likely reason of all
    May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

    But, whatever the reason,
    His heart or the booze,
    He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating more than the Jews,
    Staring down from his thone with a sour, drunken frown
    At the warm lighted windows were aglow in the town.
    For he knew every Dub down in Dub-ville beneath
    Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.

    "And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
    "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
    Then he growled, with his fat fingers nervously drumming,
    "I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"

    The more de Judge thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
    "Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!
    I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
    ...But HOW?"

    Then he got an idea! An awful idea!

    "I know just what to do!" de Judge croaked like a pigeon;
    'I'll make the whole Christmas season, from pagan origin!'
    he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great nifty trick!
    "With the bible and booze, I'll just look like a prick!"

    "All I need is a scripture..."
    de Judge looked in The Book.
    But he couldn't find nothing, the senile old crook.

    Did that stop the old goat?
    NO! The Judge simply said,
    "If I can't find a reason, I'll make one instead!"

    So he wrote in the Watchtower
    "Christmas is bad!
    If you keep celebrating
    You'll make Jesus mad!"

    He went with his spies
    To observe all their deeds
    Or if everyone out there
    Would now listen and heed.

    Then de Judge said, "Let's go!"
    And the limo started down
    Toward the homes where the Dubs
    Lay a-snooze in their town.

    When he came to the first little house on the square.
    "This is stop number one," the old bastard declared;
    And he took out his camera in his fat little fist;
    And a pen and a paper to start up his list.

    And what sight did greet him
    The grumpy jack ass?
    Not a wreath, or a candle, only silence en mass.

    He got out of the car; rather hard for a pudge.
    But, if Adolf could do it, then so could de Judge.
    He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
    But his driver, with glee, kicked his ass with his shoe.

    Then he drank and plotted, with an air that he'd won,
    And decided to ban every day that was fun.
    Mother's Day! Father's Day, and also Thanksgivin'
    Were now on the books as of pagan origin.

    But he went by some new converted Dub's place;
    And saw in the window, a little girl's face;
    Alone and so sad now he took all their fun
    But de Judge didn't see anything wrong that he'd done.

    He figured he'd probably save them a ton;
    By banning everything in life that was fun;
    ‘No toys, no bikes' he grinned with a hiss;
    ‘Now they can spend all their time
    Out in Field Ser-vice.

    He stayed there the night;
    To see what they'd do
    They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!

    But the Dubs woke up early;
    And sang Christmas carolls;
    With all of their children;
    Ted, Larry and Daryll.

    And de Judge, with his heart made of snow,
    Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
    "It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
    "It came without packages, boxes or bags!"

    Then he drank from his bottle, then drank even more.
    Then the Judge thought of something he hadn't before.
    "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
    "Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

    And what happened then...? Dub-ville they say
    That de Judge's small heart
    Shrank three sizes that day!

    He had them all axed
    From the ones they loved most;
    To their family and friends;
    They were now just a ghost.

    Yes, welcome, welcome
    One and all;
    To the nightmare that is
    the Kingdom Hall.

  • jayhawk1


  • Wild_Thing

    Very cute!!! And you are talented, too!

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Mary,

    Off to bed, visions of sugar plums dancing in your head? Oh, after 45 years away, can't 'spect me to remember the words....

    Well, if in his heart JFR truly denied Christmas, then there'd be no stake of holly driven through said heart [do you think he actually had one?] and he'd be eating his pudding and not boiled in it. They say the proof of the pudding is in the eating [drinking] of it --- how many proof was the Judge's pudding, d'ya think?

    Irreverently yours,


  • Atlantis

    Cheers! Atlantis-

  • luna2

    LOL! Very nice, Mary. The Judge makes a perfect Grinch.

  • kls



  • Atlantis

    Yeah! Who does he think he is trying to steal Christmas like that?

    Tweety picture no.0422

    Cheers! Atlantis-

  • mrsjones5

    Another Christmas card! Mary you amaze me!

  • mouthy

    Well that gave me my first laugh for the day....Your a poet & you didnt know it....
    Guess we will have to leave him to the REAL JUDGE!!!! Poor soul thought he was serving GOD ....
    If he knew how many lives were ruined by his big ideas .... he would need more than a few bottles he would need a gun.....

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