I NEED ADVICE DESPERATELY!!!

concerned fiance

Here is my situation: My fiance is now 27 years old. He was raised as a JW from the age of 2 through 18. At that time, his whole family left the "truth" except for his older brother who had already married another woman from the faith. For the past 9 years, he has been living his life to the fullest, but still loving God, praying often and he is a truly honest and moral person. Over the past two years, he has been questioning many of the beliefs that he was raised with. I was born a Hindu and am, for all practical purposes, a Hindu. I do not really go to temple, but I have a very strong moral anv value system based on my faith and belief in God. We have spoken about our religious differences and had reached an understanding that we mutually respect one another's beliefs and we would expose our children to both religions as much as possible.

Unfortunately, after last Tuesday's events, he is now freaking out and scared out of his mind. He truly believes that Bible prophesy is coming true and that now believes he must return to the Truth in order to be saved and have that everlasting life that JW's teach and brainstorm people into believing they will have. I have tried reasoning with him and questioning many of the principles on many of the same basis that you do in your writings. He is miserable because he feels so torn right now. He says if he goes back to the truth, then he will be dead inside because I will not be with him but if he stays with me, he will be sacrificing his life for our love. We have both been crying for days and he is so confused.

I have implored him to do research and read the Bible for himself and seek out its meaning from his own reading, not from the interpretations that have been taught to him. He has agreed and is beginning his quest for knowledge and is speaking to different people in and out of the truth to understand and learn. But, he has now begun speaking very negatively about our future, to the point that he has said that whatever happens, he will always love me. To this, of course, I can only pray that he changes his mind and can be positive about our future. I truly love him and I believe he loves me as well.

I was wondering if you had any words of wisdom on how I can approach him, what to say to him, how to act, what to do, anything to make him realize the errors of the JW's teachings.... Please help.

He keeps hanging his hat on 1 TH 5:3 that discussed "peace and security" and that he thinks the world's nations will begin to make such declarations. Please help me refute this statement that he has been taught and any other advice you may have.

Thanks

SixofNine

So, why aren't you freaking out? What I mean is, to his mind, why aren't you freaking out?

There is the problem with theologies like the Witnesses, until it is behind you completely, it is always hanging over your head like sword of Damocles.

You and he just imagined that his beliefs and your beliefs were compatable. Hehe, love makes fools out of all of us, don't it? Take heart, his beliefs aren't compatable with ANY woman who isn't a JW. The answer of course, is to help him see that his beliefs are totally and completely full of shit. Not one single solitary whit of good in them at all. If you don't believe me, you don't understand. I understand

It is not an easy thing to do, convincing a person their whole belief system is a myth no more real than Santa Clause. Even Jesus went lighter on those poor Jewish bastards than the 21st century allows for in destroying religious dogma. But hey, times and messiahs change.

slipnslidemaster

Please remind him that they said the same thing in 1986. The United Nations declared that year the Year of Peace and Security.

I don't even know where to start with him.

Slipnslidemaster: "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

- Ben Franklin

LDH

Remind him that 1986 was the UN's year of "Peace and Security" and all JW's were saying something big was going to happen then.

You might also ask if Jehovah only cares about Americans. After all, hundreds of millions of Sudanese and Rwandese have been slaughtered in the past ten years. Of course, Jehovah doesn't care about their lives as the lives of the 7,000 Americans killed. WHATEVER. [8>]

Remind him that Jehovah doesn't live in BROOKLYN and that these tragedies happen worldwide on a daily basis. And nowhere in the BIBLE does it say anything about Americans being more precious to Jehovah than a Croat or a Serb. To say nothing of the Cambodian disaster. (OH I forgot, Jehovah is white) [8>]

If he is going to insist on going back to that shit and exposing your children, I would think twice about marrying him.

Good luck, girl.
Lisa

jukief

Hi, and welcome to the board.

I'm so sorry to hear your story; I'm afraid that many JWs and ex-JWs have reacted this way to the terrorist attacks. Others who are more knowledable than me can take on the subject of peace and security. I'd like to respond to your post in general.

I left the Witnesses way back in 1984; I had a lot of doubts and although I hadn't done any deep studying, I knew things weren't right and didn't make sense. But I had, in the back of my mind, the worry that I'd done the wrong thing, that maybe the Witnesses were right and that my kids would die at Armageddon because of my decision. Do you know what finally put those thoughts to rest for me? (And for many other ex-JWs?) Reading Ray Franz's two books: Crisis of Consience and In Search of Christian Freedom. Ray goes into great detail about JW teachings and the way the organization is run. After reading two books, I don't see how your fiance could still believe the Witnesses are right about the Armageddon predictions. Please try to get him to read the books. You can order them from several different places, including FreeMinds.org and Amazon.

I wish you luck, and I hope you can convince your fiance that the Witnesses are wrong, wrong, wrong about this--both for your sake and for his.

Best wishes,
Julie

LDH

PS- that's just what Jehovah wants. Fairweather friends. People who worship him when they're scared for their own ass.

[8>]
He is a loser.... the bible says NO MAN knows the day or hour.

Nathan Natas

Dear concerned,

LDH hit the nail on the head. This guy is a loser who is willing to leave you because he thinks a false prophet can save his hide from an imaginary threat.

Be thankful that this happened when it did rather than after your marriage.

It's time for you to move on.

NameWithheld

Hit him with the info in this thread - I don't see how many honest JWs could ignore the implications of this UN deal ...

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=10732&site=3

Also, as stated above make SURE he reads the Crisis of Consence book, it is a real eye opener.

Good luck, it is very difficult to deprogram a JW.

voltaire

I'm truly saddened to hear about the difficulties you are having, and I'm ashamed that the religion that my mother taught me and that I learned as a child is capable of causing anyone so much pain. I no longer believe intellectually that the Watch Tower has the "TRUTH", but I must admit that I FEEL lingering doubts from time to time. It's difficult to convey to a non-witness the power of the process that indoctrinates a witness youth. We hear that God is going to destroy the world at the battle of Armageddon from such a young age. We NEVER hear any opposing info. and we're strongly encouraged not to look for any such information or get the kind of education that would provide it.

The most productive avenue, in my opinion, is to research and review the numerous times the society predicted the end. Freeminds.org has plenty of info on 1975. Did you know that the society predicted the end of the world as far back as 1874?(I think I've got the date right. It's close, if not right on.) In fact, the founder of the religion was heavily influenced by men who associated with William Miller. Miller predicted the end in 1843 and 1844. Russell was positive that the last days started in 1799. Of course, we're never told about this. You can be expelled for simply reading about it!

A thought about the "peace and security" thing. The war on terrorism is going to last for years. I don't think that the nations of the earth are going to proclaim peace and security as long as there are terrorists who are attacking the West. The strange
thing about it is that when there is a "lull" in the fighting, witnesses think that the nations are gearing up for the peace and security announcement. When something terrible happens, they panic about it and think it means the end of the world, too! C'mon, Which is it? The truth is that the WT society wants people to get out and preach. They really believe that it's imperative that as many people be contacted as possible with their message. I believe most are sincere, but misguided. The men in Brooklyn want the end to come more than anyone else. They have invested their whole lives in this religion. As a result you will find that they play on the natural angst and fear that we all have in order to draw us to the "truth". And when lots of people are coming into the organization, it validates their position and belief system.

Tell your boyfriend that I believe that he needs to treat his witness-generated fears as an abnormal, unhealthy mental state that requires help. He find what he needs on the net. He may need some therapy. This board has been therapeutic for me. There's another good site by Timothy Cambell. You can't miss it with a little searching on the net. It always comes up as one of the first few. Beyond Jehovah's Witnesses, I think it is.

I hope this helps. I'm sure you'll get lots of advice. Namaste.

slipnslidemaster

Lisa, you and I must have been thinking the same thing. I just couldn't write anymore. It just pissed me off thinking about it. I'm glad that you put my thoughts down when you wrote yours. Thanks.

Slipnslidemaster: "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

- Ben Franklin

I NEED ADVICE DESPERATELY!!!

Share this