WHOA! Elders don't care about me after all!!!

by Schism 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    skyking: "Sooner or later as long as you stay were you are living one of the Elders will call on you."


    It's been almost 30 years, and I have yet to have an elder call, write, or visit me about why I stopped going to meetings. So you may be right, Schism, that the elders don't care about you. They certainly never cared about me.

  • Schism
    Schism

    Well, I'm glad to hear that the general opinion here is that there is a possibility that they might just leave me alone forever. If they come here, that will mark the beginning of my second DFing (I'm 21), and it won't be pretty. I'm not even in the mood to lie and sweet-talk my way out this time!

    "HOORAY for you and your sweetheart. Now I see perfectly why they are avoiding you!"

    Oh? And why do you think they are avoiding me?

  • looking_glass
    looking_glass

    It's funny, there was a thread here not too long ago asking people if they were upset about not getting a SC or if they were happy about not getting one. There were people who felt like they were being ignored and they did not like it, others were happy. As for me (and my household .... hee, hee just a little JW humor there) I felt hounded when I first started fading, all the "loving" calls from the elders, sisters in the hall, friends. I would intentionally work really late hours, it was easy enough to do, because there is always tons of work to be done. Then, I moved away, so they could not call on me. They asked for my number when I would run into them when I was visiting family. I gave it to them, but with caller ID, I just never answered and never returned their calls. Eventually it stopped. But let me tell you, for the period of time the pressure was on and I hated it. I would have loved to have been ignored.

  • Schism
    Schism

    That nice lady I told you about did call and come by a few times. Once was a little creepy. She came by during the campaign and left a note on my door that read something like:

    "Please come back. We NEED you!"

    I assumed that meant "need you in Paradise with us", because of the way the rest of the note was written (can't remember the rest word for word).

    Creeped us both out a little. Then we felt sad that they all are thinking we are going to die soon.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Sometimes we think that no one had a clue we were dissatisfied, or about to 'just stop" suddenly. Usually we are fooling ourselves. It was apparent by our demeanor or our words, subtle as they may have seemed to us at the time, but the hardcore types could sense the impending vanishing trick we pulled. So, the ones who really know the signs of spiritual ruin will avoid us. Self preservation rules the day with these morons.

    W.Once

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    Wasanelder, good point!

  • Schism
    Schism

    Yeah, good point about the self-preservation.

    They really couldn't see me quitting though, because I was never the talkie, smiley, get there early-stay late after kind. No matter what my standing is, I always stayed closed off to that bunch. My mom even confirmed this the other day by mentioning how I was at the Hall as a baby. She said I cried when they would come to touch me/talk to me and I wouldn't let anyone from the Hall hold me.

    Out of the mouth of babes!!! LOL

  • Sam87
    Sam87

    Wow, I am amazed. About 3 months ago, I finally became nauseated about going to the meetings and I went from attending each one, to attending zero. Everyone in my hall is pretty much either related to me, or has watched me grow up and likes to pretend they are related to me, including the elders.

    Since I stopped going, I have had one single person try to get me to go back or go out in service, and she is one of the nicest people in the world (too nice). The rest are leaving me in peace, which is a good thing! It seems too good to be true.

    this is pretty much the same treatment i got too.

    Sam87.

  • calico
    calico

    I live in a small town and have not heard a peep from an elder in the past 1 1/2 years. I went to the memorial last spring and had a sister come up to me and say something like "please come back" or "don't give up". She's not a personal friend of mine and I have not heard from her since!

    I was in a store with my husband and had a sister walk away while I was talking to her! My husband was so shocked! Of course, he gave her the "she's a bitch to begin with" excuse!

  • TowerWatch
    TowerWatch

    I think the biggest problem is that the Elders are under a very big Watchtower microscope. As a result they soon become so concerned about their image that they forget how to help folks.

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