Any tips on successfully fading?

by unhappy 30 Replies latest jw friends

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  unhappy

  I know it's already been discussed a bit on the board but I just wanted some advice. I've been fading for a little while and my problem is this how does one fade successfully without getting caught out or hasselled non stop. The funny thing is I do actually have all the medical prolems that were mentioned in a previous thread (chronic fatigue syndrome, depression, migraines and that's just for starters) But I've had these for years and have still kept on going to the meetings regularly, I even pioneered, which I now realize was absolute madness. If I use my health as an excuse now dubs will say 'but your health's always been like that so that's no excuse'. Anyway I just wanted to know if anyone had any advice to pass on or experiences? It would be much appreciated.

  Thanks
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  OnTheWayOut

  If I use my health as an excuse now dubs will say 'but your health's always been like that so that's no excuse'.

  Hint that things are getting worse. Mention that doctors are perplexed that your meds are not working as good as they should have, you need to try something else. Right after mentioning that, skip whatever JW functions you want for 2 weeks. Come back and say "It didn't work out. On to the next experiment." Totally skip service from that point on. Turn in extremely low hours for awhile, if they say nothing- you can get down to 1 or 0 hours a month. Play the game.
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  unhappy

  Thanks onthewayout thats a good one, I like it. I'll definitely try that.
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  unhappy

  Thanks onthewayout thats a good one, I like it. I'll definitely try that.
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  Mary

  Tell the elders you're having major problems with your period and have constant PMS, bloating and cramps and you feel really cranky all the time. I guarantee they'll leave you alone.

  This is one area they know better than to suggest praying more and going out in Service. Elder school might teach them alot about the Organization, but this is one area they ain't goin' anywhere near. They're dumb, but not that dumb. And if you doubt me, you can ask some ex-elders on this site what they would say to an 'inactive sister' who told them this.

  While I'm saying this partially because it's funny, believe me-----it works like a charm.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Also, do a little bit of research on your depression and carry some information in your JW books.

  IF EVER, the brothers want to talk to you (let them initiate) start by saying, "I wanted to talk
  to you, also. I need advice on this [medical procedure, doctor's opinion, in-patient service,
  whatever you have]. If you do this a couple of times, they won't want to pull you aside to
  discuss your spirituality faithfulness to the cult.
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  Warlock

  Just tell them your health is getting worse, which I'm sure it must be. You just can't keep up anymore.

  I started by missing the bookstudy, because it's late in the week and I work late the night before, which is true.

  Then I quit the school because of my headaches, and that takes care of 2 more meetings. Also true.

  Then I started attending the Sunday meeting sporadically.

  Take your time and you will be fine. Don't be suprised if you receive a little more sympathy and understanding.............at least for a while. Don't forget to tell everyone about your deteriorating health problems when you DO attend.

  Warlock
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  unhappy

  LOL! I can just imagine the elders faces in my cong if I start talking about my periods. I think that will def be a conversation stopper.

  Onthewayout, thanks will start researching i sure I can find something that will scare them away from ever talking to me again.
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  Finally-Free

  If I use my health as an excuse now dubs will say 'but your health's always been like that so that's no excuse'.

  My response to this would be, "When I want medical advise I seek a qualified health practicioner. That's not you, so shut up and mind your own business."

  I have been hassled non stop by JWs about medical matters, and found that nothing short of a firm, non-negotiable statement will shut them up. JWs have little respect for doctors, and take every opportunity to shit on the medical profession. Nowhere else have I seen people so eager to try non traditional medical practices - anything but go to a real doctor! I've had window cleaners give me literature and preach to me for hours about their latest flavour of the month alternative medical practice. I saw a woman die of breast cancer because she refused conventional medical treatments, opting instead to take only vitamin supplements.

  Just tell them you are having health problems, and those problems are personal and between you and your doctor only. Period.

  You are not obligated to discuss your personal medical history with every nosey person that comes along.

  W
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  unhappy

  Thanks everyone, I'm going to try all of the suggestions, not all at the same time of course, although.....

  And If all else fails I guess i'll just have to relocate. Wish me luck!