What should I do? (stay or go?)

by Anony-Mouse 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Anony-Mouse

    You're all exactly right (cept wanderlustguy :P ) .

    Oh well. I'll just have fun while it lasts .

    And now, wanderlustguy:

    "Dude...you're 17, and while you may think you know a lot about you now, you don't know jack. Think back to when you were 12, that was just five years ago. How much of the stuff you were interested in at 12 are you still into now? Just as you changed that much over those few years, you will continue to do so over the next 10-15. You don't even know what religion you are for crying out loud, how can you expect to know who you want to live your life with? "

    You're right up until the last sentance. I know exactly what JWs are. It's a cult. But the latter half is true.

    "Of course I remember when I was your age I knew every damn thing and was so in love with whichever girl was the closest or giving me some attention. The Truth has your mind all screwed up still, and you have to fix that FIRST, then figure out who you really are SECOND, and figure out what you want to do the rest of your life, and go about getting in the position to do it. After you do all of that...you might be in the position to screw someone elses life up by merging your goals into a long term relationship."

    The 'Truth' hasn't controled me for several years. And I've been learning who I am in that time. And I am setting up the rest of my life....kinda :P .

    "It's time to think with your mind...not your eyes, hands and wee wee. Women are not a possession, a slave, or someone to cater to you. Until you can see them as equal as a person...you will have it really hard.

    Force yourself to get a grip on reality...it's not something they can teach you in The Truth."

    And this is downright insulting. The whole reason I like her is because I can see her as equal. And I don't look at her because I'm horny, that's also not what I'm looking for. And, finally, I havn't heard a word they've taught in the truth for quite a while.

  • Mysterious

    Don't waste your youth staying for her. Tell her how you feel about her and about the organization and let her choose. If she chooses you there is honesty and the foundation of a relationship. If she chooses the JWs it was just not meant to be. If he parents will not allow it because you are wordly then try to see her in secret, but do not stay for 2 years just for her.

  • daniel-p

    Please don't balk at all this counsel - just remember, we've ALL been there and know somewhat how it feels to be in this kind of position, so you're among friends.

  • jwfacts

    There is an old cliche that is all too true "there are many fish in the sea". Don't ever fear that you will not meet many wonderful girls. Many JWs marry very young, and live to regret it. You can look to the future as full of potential to meet many wonderful people.

    I have meet up with the girls I had crushes on when I was young years later, and sighed with relief that I did not marry them. So much will change in your tastes between 17 and 25 that to make any commitments now are pointless.

  • JWdaughter

    Country music is anathema to you, probably. There is a song that most here can relate to and it has this line "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers" and it's true. Ask almost anyone after they have attended a HS reunion. A majority (not all!) will be SO glad that they never got together with that crush-whether the person is just horrible for them or even if the person is wonderful, but in their growing up, they found the person who is truly the love of their life. Or not. The thing is-your youth is the time to learn and grow and (sounds cold) try out relationships, see how they work. And in the meantime you are going to grow into the man that you are going to be. You may be on a straight path to that person now, or you may make a lot of twists and turns that lead you in a place you had no way to even imagine now. Don't change your life for another person at your age. Find a person who is where you are and who fits with who you are now. If you change your course at such an early age-you will never know who or what you can become. Maybe you will grow together, maybe apart, but growth is good.

    And she is only 14!!! Don't want to get on the bad side of pissed off JW family when you are known to be inclined OUT of the 'truth'.

  • jgnat
    Oh well. I'll just have fun while it lasts .

    Smart young man. Keep this up for your first three or four crushes, and you will do well. In the meantime, have LOTS and LOTS of fun. Enjoy each other's company.

  • lawrence

    Go up to the old man at the hall and ask if he'll marry the two of you immediately, so you can pioneer as a couple. If he says no, then tell him you're old enough to support his daughter and when you become a C.O. "he'll be sorry." No, actually, stay friends, and see what develops when you go off to college. Enjoy the trip!

  • jayhawk1

    If by thinking about your future, you mean, thinking about dating and perhaps marrying this girl... Stop thinking. Don't do any "thinking about your future" until you are 25. The person you are today is not the same person you will be at 25. The person she is today at 15 is not the same person she will be at 23. First loves almost never work.

    Take her to the local Sonic, McDonalds or whatever. Take her to a movie or bowling. If you both are into music or share another hobby, do that. But for God's sake, don't even think about the future with her.

    I still have fond memories of my High School sweetie, and in fact still like her alot, but I'm glad we're not together today.

  • sass_my_frass

    Thing is, that you'll be wasting two or three of the best years of your life. TOTALLY wasting it.

  • PrimateDave

    Enjoy the feelings you are experiencing now. Enjoy the time you spend with her. Always carry condoms just in case...

    Reminds me of a John Mellencamp song from my teen years:

    "Life goes on, long after the thrill of livin' is gone." ("Jack and Diane")

    Dave (who's advise must not be construed as legal counsel)

Share this