I'm scared and I need help

Chameleon

For those of you that don't know my story, read my first post here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/122526/1.ashx So, I think next week is when I find out if I am approved to be an MS. If not, thank god, but if I am, I'm in deep crap. Elder dad is confident that I'll accept, but my plan is to try to get out of it by saying that I want to finish school and get an AA degree, at least, before accepting more responsibilities. I figure my dad's gonna keep pressuring me until I say yes or I give him the real explanation as to why I don't want to accept. I'm freaking out, because I don't know if I should stick with the finishing school story, or hit him with something big, like the U.N. thing. That's probably not a good idea, but I need to confront him someday, and the biggest slip-up of the wt with evidence from non-apostate sources is the U.N. scandal. So my questions are: 1. Should I share the U.N. thing with him? 2. If I do, how do I start? I can't even think of an outline because I'm that worried. For those of you that confronted your JW relatives with the U.N. thing, how did it go? Thank you all in advance for your advice/suggestions.

XU

I won't be the most relevant post here, but in my experience, if you want to be able to talk to your parents when you are older, leave the UN out of it. Use school excuse. There is great temptation to being honest, but witnesses don't play by human rules. They will think Satan has already got you and now is trying to get them through you. Just let them know that you want to give it your full attention and proper priority in your life, but you need to make sure you are in a good job so that you can have less distractions from preparing inspiring #2s. It's been a while since I was around Witness brains, so I don't even know how I sound to them anymore. Good luck. I'm sure better advice is on the way!

Arthur

No, do not bring up the U.N. thing. This will only open up a Pandora's Box. I can tell you from personal experience, that once a devoted JW family member (especially a parent) finds out you have any kind of doubt in the organization; life is going to become extremely difficult for you.

You need to just go through the motions while you are living at home. If you don't want to be a servant, just inform the elder body that after much prayerful thought, you realize that you cannot adequately handle the responsibility right now. (or perhaps your story will work with your dad)

The best advice I can offer (from personal experience) is not to suggest in any way to your parents that you doubt the organization in any way. Just bow out of accepting the appointment if you truly do not want to be a MS.

My MILs worst nightmare, a nonJW

I have two sons about your age going to college. I try to keep the confrontations with them to a minimum, mainly because I don't want them to be sidetracked. Despite what they may occasionally think, they do not have the financial means to move out on their own and get a degree. I emphasize one main thing which is to stay focused and get your degree. One is getting an IT degree. One is getting an engineering degree.

When they finish school they will enter the job market at a high salary level. They will then have options. Disagreeing with your dad and being right, will not pay the bills. A good education will. Stay focused on getting as high a level a degree as you can whether that is a BA, a Masters or PhD.

orbison11

yes, i agree with the above posters

and an interesting note,,,that you knew ahead of time of your possible acceptance to be an ms

in my time, the brothers were told at the meeting, just before the announcement, when they were taken to the back room and asked if there was a reason they could not be in that position

orbi

BluesBrother

If your dad won't listen to reason, speak to the other elders . They all have to support your recommendation and in my experience elders take a lot of convincing about another elder's son. They always suspect nepotism....

I would take the line something like ," I know that I am not ready", I have periods of 'depression' , I put on a brave face to the brothers but...." "the thought of added responsibility would have a bad & negative effect on my spirituality at this time" Can we postpone it a while?

If that fails , wait until the next Circuit Visit, make sure you go out in service with the C/O and take the same line with him - he has to ultimately sign and send in the recommendation.

At least you have some warning... Once back in the seventies I was peacefully at the meeting , looking for my songbook during the announcements , and they said that Br. 'BluesBrother' has been appointed an elder ! Everybody clapped and I nearly feinted... it was the biggest shock of my life - I was lumbered....

Chameleon

Elder dad said: "I know I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I'll tell you anyway." That's how I knew.

SirNose586

but my plan is to try to get out of it by saying that I want to finish school and get an AA degree, at least, before accepting more responsibilities.

I'm afraid that's probably not going to work. I tried a similar line to that when they wanted to make me an MS, and they more or less laughed it off.

Now, rejecting the MS appointment by citing the whole UN scandal will obviously change the whole mood--you'll go from future leader to wicked apostate in no time flat. Unfortunately I have no clue how you'd work that into your refusal without setting off fireworks, so to speak.

The only way you'd be able to duck the appointment would be to either confess to or make up some sort of "spiritual deficiency," like masturbation or something else. They asked me if I had anything I wanted to confess before they gave me the title, and I didn't feel like being lectured, so I said I had nothing to declare. You have to give them a reason why appointing you would stumble someone. You might get in trouble, but at least you'll have stalled for time.

If you do manage to duck it, you can't relax, because they've got to appoint someone for the CO's visit. So at this point they will watch you of course, and you'll have to take drastic measures. Do what you can, don't make the same mistake that I did and choke.

Arthur

At least you have some warning... Once back in the seventies I was peacefully at the meeting , looking for my songbook during the announcements , and they said that Br. 'BluesBrother' has been appointed an elder ! Everybody clapped and I nearly feinted... it was the biggest shock of my life - I was lumbered....

LOL ! That's hilarious. A similar thing happened to my dad back in the 70's. They announced him as being appointed a MS without his knowledge; and he wasn't even at the meeting when they announced it. My mom came home and told him: "You got appointed as a Servant." It was funny, because he didn't even want to be one. Not surprisingly, his days as a MS were quite short.

Chameleon

thanks, everyone. sirnose: I guess I'm screwed.

I'm scared and I need help

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