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by Chameleon 61 Replies latest jw friends

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  Chameleon

  Hello everyone.

  I'm an "active" JW and have been for...13 years but my faith in the JW org died about 5 years ago.

  So, I've been doing the JW thing for 5 years now without believing in it. I might be an MS soon, unfortunately.

  I tried telling my parents about it but they said apostates are good with twisting words and whatnot.

  They wouldn't even let me show them evidence of wt hypocrisy; however, my mother did say she found it odd that every once in a while, there's that publisher resolution of donating a certain amount a year. There might be hope for her yet. I also showed her the pyramid thing next to Russel's grave.

  My father, however, has been an elder for two years, and when I told him that I didn't want to be a JW anymore, he got a look on his face like he wanted to kill himself.

  He said that because I might be made an MS soon, that Satan was trying to get me. He didn't listen to anything I had to say.

  Since my parents freaked when I told them, I've gone along with the bs, but my plan is to move out somewhere at least half an hour away from here.

  I'm just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and how they got out.
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  BabaYaga

  WELCOME, Chameleon...
  
  Stick around, many here have told their stories. You'll gather much.
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  Chameleon

  Thanks.

  I'd reveal more about myself but I think everyone here could relate to how I feel about being found out.
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  esw1966

  Welcome!

  My situation was not like yours. But when I was able to see the truth that 'the truth' was a lie, I was able to discover real Christianity and I have found JOY and I have never been happier in my life!

  I have moved 1500 miles away from where I grew up as a jw. It really helped as being shunned would have harmed me.

  Keep your eyes open, search, pray, and do not give up your conviction that you are doing the right thing. There is no real happiness at the hall. They have stole it from themselves. You will find joy and God if you search for Him. Just because you were led down the wrong path does not mean that the path is not worth taking. It IS worth finding it! Lean on God and He WILL help you find it!

  I enjoy listening to Cornwall Church in Bellingham, WA on iTunes. Maybe you will find it helpful....

  Welcome to the forum!

  Ethan
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  OnTheWayOut

  Hello, welcome to the JWD.

  I am not in a very similar situation, but I am a JW with family in the organization. I am in the process of fading away. Many here are doing the same. You just become less and less active and never actually leave, just fade away. You can eventually get to the point where you tell your folks you go to meetings sometimes (even the memorial is "sometimes").

  IF A FADE WOULD WORK FOR YOU-
  My advice, first of all- mess up before you become an MS. Don't get out in service at all during the campaign for the tract or turn in reports of 1 or 2 hours service. If that's not good enough, miss three of the same meeting in a row (prefer the School and Service Meeting). Regardless, even if they offer you a position, tell them "No, my field service was low, I missed many meetings, I gotta improve before I take on more." Then get worse- but slowly if that will work for you.

  Your folks know you have doubts. You can talk about them, but be careful. Stick with WT pubs. (Get info from the web or whatever, but keep that to yourself). Don't ever say your doubts as facts. Don't really bother to take them to your own cong. Body of Elders.
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  OnTheWayOut

  If you move, move far enough to get to another congregation. Start off there with missing meetings, not commenting, poor or inactive field service. Whatever you can comfortably get away with.

  If Dad is really putting pressure on you, move before the MS thing comes up. Try to go to work more often to pay your rent, car payment, whatever.
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  Chameleon

  Thanks, Ethan. My doubts never were about God, but the WT claiming to be the rep. of God. I still have faith in God. =)

  onthewayout: When you mean family, do you mean wife (or husband?) and kids? Or do you mean parent, siblings, etc.?

  My parents and my only other sibling, my sister, are direct family that's JW. I'm 21 soon and I used to think that I'd ask out a girl that's been my friend for a while but about two years ago some girl came to our hall and she (the new girl) seems to have lesbian tendencies. So I gave up on her 'cause of that; not to mention the fact that it'd be harder to leave if I got married in the org.

  People on this board seem friendly, which is more than I can say for my hall. At the local hall, there are about 3 cliques and I'm not part of any of them. I usually have the sound system duty, so I just lay back after the meetings until it's time to leave (can't drive yet).

  Looking back on it, I never really found joy in going out to service, or attending meetings, but in hanging out with friends. They were never very "spiritual" and neither was I, so I guess that's why we could relate to each other. They were two, and one of them left 'cause his father got DFd and I guess with no fatherly support, he didn't feel like going on. However, I kept hanging out with him but my parents told me to stop. The other left 'cause he liked some "wordly" girl. I lost contact with both of them. About 5 years ago, I made a new friend in the hall, but he moved away about two years ago although I still talk to him.

  I'm willing to give it all up for freedom (although I'd rather fade).

  I know this is a long post but I just want to express myself freely, so I thank you all for reading this.
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  parakeet

  Chameleon: "I'm an "active" JW and have been for...13 years but my faith in the JW org died about 5 years ago."
  
  Five years is a long time to play the JW role without any belief behind it. I lasted for three years; couldn't take it any longer than that. When I left, I told my JW parents about my decision, but didn't inform the cong (they didn't deserve that courtesy). My parents were extremely upset (there's no getting out of that), but they didn't rat me out to the elders. So although I consider myself DA, I'm a "fader" or inactive JW as far as the WTS is concerned.
  
  Short of making an outright declaration (with its attendant consequences, i.e. shunning), the advice posted above about moving and fading away might very well work for you. Faking an unprovable illness (depression, migraine) has allowed some to back away from the JWs. I hope you find a way that works for you. Good luck.
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  Chameleon

  onthewayout: I need to learn how to drive and get a job where I can support myself (luckily, I only need one more year to get my AA degree; it's not much, but it's a start. Surprising that my parents let me go to the local community college.)

  I was thinking of getting a job that has frequent overtime as an excuse.

  parakeet: Thanks.

  How did you leave? By moving out, or did you mean leave the cong.?
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  jwfacts

  Welcome Chameleon.

  There are tough times ahead. I recommend the fade. Miss a few meetings, do 1 hour a month etc, that way you wont have to worry about being an MS. Take yourself off the school saying it stresses you too much. Most importantly build a new life with great new friends outside the Org. That way, if everything all falls apart you will find it easy to move on.

  Don't do what I did; Confront your family and friends. They will turn on you and you will be d/f with nothing, no one and no where to go.