did it get dealt with at all?
I was raped by my grandfather, father, mother, and at least one of their friends. This was all before the age of 6. There may be more but I don't remember; things are hazy enough at that age. I told my grandmother about it. She slapped me and told me never to repeat it again. I have a memory of my mother cleaning me up after one of my father's assaults and her slapping my backside and telling me to "act like a man."
But to answer your question, it was dealt with but not by the law and as you can see, not very kindly either.
are the offenders still out there ?
My mother died of cancer in 1989; she died in good standing and the elder giving the funeral talk deliberately left my name out (he thought I was "unworthy" of being mentioned). My grandfather died from Alzheimer's somewhere in the mid-1990s. Their friend died from cancer just a couple of years ago.
My father is still a ministerial servant. He remarried after my mother died and now has 2 step-sons. I've never met them, nor my step-mother. Nor do I want to.
have they been dealt with by the law?
No. The statute of limitations in America is generally 10 years (varies from state to state) and since my abuse occurred in the early to mid-1960s, they got away with it and are free from any prosecution.
i was just wondering because sooo many of them get away, if you were offended did you take it into your own hands and bypass the elders and go to the police? if not is it too late now?
By the time I confronted my parents, I was 26 and there was no legal remedy. The elders of course threw up their hands and said there was nothing they could do since I did not have 2 eyewitnesses. When I produced my grandmother and an aunt, they rejected anything those two women had to say since they were "worldly and you know how worldly people lie".
At some point, you realize you have to let it go and move on with your life. You have to let go of all that anger, bitterness, shame, terror and ugly feelings as they are like poison and will literally kill you if not dealt with. Abuse always leaves scars and it is these scars, the ones that no one ever sees that are the worst.
What happened was hideous, and while it's part of who I am, it doesn't define me. It was something that was done to me. My recovery is what I did for me.
Chris
