On the fence (first post)

by nonamegiven 47 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  sf

  Welcome a-board. The ride here can and does get bumpy. Try to hang on for the ride.

  some of it I kinda dismiss because I can tell there is much anger and that taints perspectives.

  Justified anger should not be dismissed. It puts a great many things INTO perspective.

  Perhaps you may feel this when and after you read the book suggested to you in this thread. Ray Franz' CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE.

  You would be doing yourself well to do so BEFORE concluding your desire for re-instatement.

  Have a pleasant day.

  sKally
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  drew sagan

  nonamegiven,
  
  Welcome to the board!
  
  Well, you wern't disfellowshipped for apostacy so it's pretty funny you ending up on this site (full of ex-jws). There are many in your position, people who find themselves outside of the Watchtower and confused. You can find yourself loaded with guilt because you just 'can't get it togeather', get that 'spiritual routine' going like you know you should.
  
  Guilt and loss are very common amongst those who are outside the Watchtower but still have a feeling it is the truth. I only have one suggestion.
  
  Use your new found freedom to open up and explore places you wern't allowed to go before. Time to consider reading Crisis of Conscience and some of the other well written books on JW history and doctrine. Open up your mind. It will suprise you.
  
  Whatever you do, take your time. I wish you the best and hope your able to keep us up on your situation.
  
  -drew
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  headmath

  Welcome to this site!! nonamegiven

  Does it make your heart pound a bit when coming here? I know mine did

  It is the coming to grips with: WAS I LIED TO ? which is due to the simple fact of the brainwashed leading the brainwashed -that is all. Amazing on how life throws a curve ball at times

  NO, no no don't think of going back . They had their fun with you and they want you to come WIMPERING back to make the elders and congo feel real good (gloat).
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  AnnOMaly

  Welcome to this board too, noname. You given up on the other board?
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  done4good

  Welcome nonamegiven, stay here a while. You will learn much and be happier for it in the end.

  j
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  bavman

  Welcome! I was in a similar situation as you a few years ago so I feel for you. Life takes some funny turns but does seem to find a way.
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  Little Drummer Boy

  Now, the only ones I can talk to are the very few...well one actually..... friend that I cultivated friendshop with that is not a JW. See, now in my time of need I have been stripped of my family and friends and have no body to turn to except the elders.

  You will find that, although you may not have many true friends in the "real" world, the people on this board will be there for you. You can share your deepest feelings, your sadness, anger, frustration. Ask all of the questions you want. When you need reassurance, you will be reassured that you can make it. You will be be comforted when you need that. When you need to debate because you want to or are just in a pissy mood, you will more than find your match here, and that can bring its own satisfaction. If you need news, advice, or strategies, it is here. In short, whatever you need, whenever you need it, someone here will help you. Welcome.
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  sass_my_frass

  Hi noname, yeah same happened to me early last year. Early on I was determined to get reinstated to get the family back, but it's been so many shades of hell that I now know that I won't be getting reinstated. As for what that means for the family; I've realised that we weren't much of a family in the first place. We only spent time with each other on the condition that everybody was a JW - it was the underlying assumption that we were all happy with it and we didn't talk about any problems we had with it. Now I want only real love and kinship, and I'm very happy to be finding it without them. It doesn't stop some major hurt, but it's fading.
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  wanderlustguy

  I'm taking this time to really disect every teaching from many perspectives to get a REAL idea of what the bible says.

  If you only look at what the Bible says, you only are getting a glimpse of truth. There are many things written before the bible, thousands of years before Christ, even. Dig a little and you will see more than you can imagine today...if you really want TRUTH.

  Snakes don't talk...and two people of the same race can't produce different races down the line...figure it out.

  One more thing...conditional love isn't, conditional friends aren't.

  Good luck!

  WLG
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  JWdaughter

  Hello, WELCOME,

  You are right, there is a lot of anger here. Much of it is justified. But that isn't the point. Someone mentioned that YOU can speak to anyone you wish-and that is true. Accepting the way that 95% of JWs will treat you when you speak to them is a whole other subject. It is hard.

  Do you really believe the JW stuff or do you just want to be re=instated? If you get re-instated while not believeing, this is a good place to find out how folks like that handle the internal conflict. If you choose to drop the idea of being a JW again altogether, this is a good place to find out how to make new connections and attempt to regain some of your old ones.

  I personally think that the JWs teachings are hogwash. But I am thinking that about a lot of things nowadays. So, are they nice with their hogwash? I don't think so!! I could be involved with religious people again, I guess, but if I were, I would find a much kinder religion than THAT one. Their fruits are abundant, perhaps, but the JW religion has the most rotten fruit I have seen. Most people are nice or mean as a personality thing. JW religion can make a person with nice inclinations go agains them and do mean things(like abandon their child for making a mistake). That is not a natural thing for a parent to do. In any case, I hope you can get some ideas for the best direction for you to take here. I do remember the speaker at the podium talking about fence sitting. Who cares what they said? You aren't on the fence because of your beliefs by the sound of it, you are debating whether to go back or not because of family/friend reasons. If you can separate your emotions from the religious teachings, AWESOME. If you aren't married already, don't go back until you have a non-JW spouse who will understand your minimal(if indeed you are just making a show of it) involvement in the religion. Marrying a JW will doom you, one way or another. (If you are not married already). It can be overcome, but it seems very difficult.

  Good luck.