"My Grief over Wasting 10 Years of My Life"

by scout575 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • scout575
    scout575

    "Ex-Christians are angry because they are grieving... I voluntarily spent 10 years of my life pursuing a godly life. My fantasy was that I was spending my time well and becoming a better person by following god. My grief over wasting 10 years of my life, is grief over giving up the fantasy."

    "Grief usually leads to anger. Embrace your anger for a while but don't let it consume you. Read a book on grief; you have suffered a great loss. Your anger is justified but remember it will pass and there will be sunny skies. You are free! I am free! This is wonderful!!!!" ( Ex-Christian.net / Rants and replies / Anyone else go through an anger stage deconverting? / post# 33 )

  • Warlock
    Warlock

    Try doing it for 20 years, it's twice as bad.

    Warlock

  • Calyndra
    Calyndra

    ~hugs~

    I'm feeling it too. Anger scares me. I don't want to feel out of control, but I do... Since Friday night I cannot stay away from these boards and I am flabbergasted that they've been here all along and I didn't think to look for them... I've been out 8 years... was I still in denial somehow?

    I wish you well in your grieving process. I am not as knowledgeable as many here, but my heart is with you.

  • moshe
    moshe

    You are still young enough to reinvent yourself, I was your age when I got out and hardly remember those wasted years at the KH, 18 years later.

  • Bonnie_Clyde
    Bonnie_Clyde

    I wasted over 42 years of my life serving the WT. I was baptized in 1956. In 1998 I went on the Internet, and that was the beginning of my fade. However, for family reasons, I continued to attend some meetings until two months ago. If you want to count those years, I've wasted 50 years of my life--actually more, because I attended meetings spasmodically for two years before my baptism. I doubt if I will ever get over it completely. It has caused a big schism in our family. A lot of relatives, including my father and daughter, have turned against me. Thankfully, my husband and two of my children are also out. That helps a lot.

    I wish it could only have been 10 (even 20) years. It's harder to make new friendships at my age.

    Bonnie

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    Anyone else go through an anger stage deconverting? / post

    Yah for the past 23 years. Somedays are better than others.

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    "Anyone else go through an anger stage deconverting?"

    When I first left, almost 30 years ago, I was more relieved than angry. My anger finally surfaced earlier this year, when I found this site. My time with the JWs was no trip in the park, but compared with the many heartrending accounts I've read here, I got off lightly. I had not realized how extensive the corruption of this cult was.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    OH, Yeahhhhhhhhh. I wasted 20, but also my children's lives were involved and much pain and suffering. I was one badasssssssmofo when I first found a place to chat about this online and there were active jdubyas trolling the chat room. Lots of anger and hostility. It took me about 18 mos to calm down.

  • smellsgood
    smellsgood

    Triton_Logic,

    what a silly post, I hope your taking the piss because otherwise you've just made a very assanine statement. People suffering, dying, or otherwise hurting as a result of time spent in a high control cult is not spilt milk.

    Did you register here to post a stupid comment like that? Are you a practicing witness or something, I bet you are, it comes through in your lack of empathy.

  • jrjr4189
    jrjr4189
    I am flabbergasted that they've been here all along and I didn't think to look for them... I've been out 8 years... was I still in denial somehow?

    I am a similar situation with you. I was out for 8 years as well before I found this board and it was a little much to handle.

    Have you read Crisis of Consience yet?

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