Please share any Aussie child custody experience re religious instruction

serenitynow

Are there any Aussies out there who can help with some advice or experience please? My ex left the dubs before we were married and had kids. Now 20 years later he has returned to the fold and we have separated. The kids have not really been exposed to JW beliefs and they have had a Christian upbringing (although not regular churchgoers).

I am the main carer of the children. I am trying to get a notation in the custody papers to say that the kids "shall not receive instruction as JWs by him or any member of his family". My concern is that he has moved back with his parents who are strong JWs. So when the kids visit him/grandparents one weekend a fortnight I have no control over what is said to them. I also don't want him taking them to the KH or out in service. However, I'm worried I may end up spending a fortune in legals over something that may not be practical to enforce. I am familiar with some of the US experiences through this discussion board, but was wondering if there are any Aussies out there who have a local experience please???

This forum has really helped given me an insight into many things dub. Although I haven't contributed much so far I hope some of you caring and sharing characters will give me some practical advice.

misspeaches

BTTT - does anyone have any helpful advice?

jwfacts

Sorry but I can't help with the legal side as I am unsure or any way you can force a parent not to discuss religion with a child. As the religion is not banned it would probably be difficult for the courts to make it illegal for him to take them there as well.

I think that in the long term it is far more beneficial for your child if you train them to be able to distinguish false rhetoric from truth. Then you will not have to be afraid of who can influence them in all areas of their life.

Have a study with the children with information about the witnesses, and get them to reason on how deceptive it is. They will be intrigued by the history, particularly the pyramids, the house of princes etc. There is lots of simply laid out information with pictures at jwfacts.com , now also a jehovah.net.au for you Aussies. If they have a question show them that there is an alternate viewpoint. For instance if they ask about blood, discuss the changes being made, the lack of logic of having fractions but not giving donations etc. Children are very perceptive so will see through the religion with ease.

Most importantly make them hate the concept that Jehovah is a violent and vindictive God that wants to kill everyone that is not a Jehovah's Witness. If they have good friends that are not Witnesses ask them if they think it is fair that Jehovah would kill them for not going to JW meetings? Once they see the religion for what it is they will be irritated by the pressure from the father to make them go to meetings and conform to his religious viewpoint.

My 14 year old daughter hates going to meetings and the pressure her grandmother puts on her to go. Everytime the grandmother brings up a JW topic I see her rolling her eyes.

JWdaughter

I guess you all have freedom of speech, so their father has as much right to religiously instruct as you do. They are more familiar with a trad. christianity and the JW meetings are a pain in the neck, so the kids are unlikely to be attracted to it. The whole religion is a pain in various and sundry parts of the body. Keep the love and acceptance of your children very strong. Don't let religion, even the JW divide your home life. The father will not be able to give that unconditional love. That will tell your kids more than a judge ever could. You can't really protect them from a well meaning father, but the hypocrisy of the religion will shine through to your kids. Just love them-no matter what.

Good luck!

The Lone Ranger

I don't really think a bit of meetings and field service will convince the kids, if anything it will annoy them even more and the kids will realise what fruitcakes they are, if the kids can see that you are trying to stop them from seeing the other side they will turn against you, let them see for themselves, they won't turn to JW's.

penny2

Hi serenitynow

I don't think you could take legal action to stop your ex or his family from talking to your children about religion. In any case jws would think of that as "persecution" and they would rally round the family and kids even more.

I'd say don't stress too much - I can hardly imagine that the meetings and field service could be too attractive to your children - even those brought up as witnesses don't like those aspects too much.

Your ex must still be very brainwashed from his upbringing. However, your children haven't had that brainwashing so don't underestimate their ability to reason and see through things.

penny2

sass_my_frass

Yep; what everybody else says - not speaking from experience; but no kid is going to like the meetings or field service - you won't have to work hard to put them off that.

A simple fact that's worth remembering: every day that Armageddon doesn't happen, Jehovah has to kill another 211 000 people (that's births minus deaths). That would include any non-JW, including all their friends and non-witnes relatives. That's an uncomfortable thing to come to terms with.

serenitynow

Thanks everyone. Sorry, my computer has been down.

The general gist I am getting is that I should take a giant "chill pill" and trust in the kids:

a) Boredom threshold

b) Ability to see simple logic.

My difficulty has been that I have tried to teach the kids they have to respect their Dad's religious beliefs, and that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I have tried very hard not to be negative about his beliefs in front of the kids. However, if he keeps discussing his beliefs with the kids I will need to start defending my own beliefs. That means I will HAVE to be negative about some of his beliefs, which I have been trying to avoid. Oh well, I guess I will have to stop pussyfooting around trying to be nice and start telling the kids how it is!

I am still not sure whether to send off a legal salvo trying to prevent him from taking them to JW functions ... so you really think I shouldn't bother????

ozziepost

G'day serenity,

A belated Welcome Aboard! I think you know that Mrs Ozzie and I have been away for a few weeks so we musta missed your thread.

Mrs Ozzie sends her love.

Check your PM and give her a call, eh?

Cheers,

Ozzie

serenitynow

Well, hello, hello. Long time no-speakies. I will give Mrs Ozzie a call soon. Love & hugs.

PS - What do u mean by "check yr PM"?

Please share any Aussie child custody experience re religious instruction

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