by scout575 13 Replies latest jw friends
"Yes I have anger. I've been angry at Christianity for years. That doesn't mean I don't love the people who've been brainwashed though."
"I think that in many cases, the degree of anger you feel at deconverting has a lot to do with how deeply you believed in and loved Jesus. For my part, initially, I felt really betrayed when I found out it was all a lie." ( Quoted from: ExChristian.net / Rants and replies / Anyone else go through an anger phase deconverting? / post# 17 ).
ditto. Nothing to add.
Amen, brother.
The best part of anger is the getting over with it, a smarter person than you began.
Jeff
The anger and embarrassment when I realized I'd been fooled kept me awake at night.
I'd then get out of bed and go read more on JWD and other sites.
After 3 weeks of this agitated state my wife had to find out what was upsetting me so much and started sneaking looks here.
I told 2 visiting elders that I felt like (with ref. to the UN scandal) my wife had been having an affair with my sworn enemy for 10 years and I knew nothing about it until a complete stranger (The Guardian) broke the news. She then denied the affair and minimised the relationship.
Ive gone through many phases, moods and feelings since leaving the society 23 years ago.
I am shocked at how SURE I was and how DILIGENTLY I tried to SAVE other people when really I was really hurting those showing interest by leading them down a wrong path.
I do not feel betrayed. I feel that I was blinded and I am GRATEFUL that I am now OUT!
I do not feel it was all a lie either. I think it is a group of Pharisees trying to WORK their way into God's good graces. Along the way they really blew it! And I became one of them in my search for God.
So, YOU wanted to worship God. You went to the wrong source. Find the right one...
We can feel bad for the pain and injury our bad decision caused for us, but we need to regroup and seek out our original goal - worshipping GOD! It really DOES bring you happiness. Living in the past only hurts...
spoken from someone who has lost his marriage, his three kids, his father, and his sister and all of my 'friends' to the society.
When you spend your whole life (50+ years) believing wholeheartedly you have the one and only "truth", it's a shock to the system for sure to learn you've believed a lie. We have been out over 4 years now and still, we'll read something on JWD and wonder how in the world we didn't leave earlier. I think when you invest your life in this religion, it's something like losing someone in death. You mourn, are angry, cry, are fearful, etc. It takes time to feel OK with yourself. I'd like to put the whole thing behind us but there is still family very active, some of whom are not shunning us...so it'll take awhile longer.
Little Bo Peep
I think all of us are angry at first and then I was totally disillusioned about religion, God, everything. Fortunately time does heal many wounds and now I'm at a really good place. I try to focus on the good things I learned while in the organization...for me it wasn't a bad experience. I may feel differently if I had gone through really bad stuff but I still have all of my children, none have abandoned me because of no longer believing the lie. For those of you that have lost children, grandchildren, parents or someone really close to you, my heart goes out to you.
I was disfellowshipped when I found out "the truth" was not THE TRUTH. I had fleeting thoughts of getting reinstated prior to this, but my heart was not in it. Then I became aware of the UN scandal and was appalled. When I was a good little Witness boy I knew enough about the UN from the literature from the society that it would be immoral to be a part of it. It literally sickened me when I found out that the WBTS was an NGO for a decade. What made it even worse was the "library card" BS that they tried to fertilize with. Why has no one from HQ been DF'd or reproved for this scandal? Why has there not been an apology in the WT? And they had the gall to DF me! WHEN THE LIE IS SO BIG - IT CANNOT BE THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!! John
I'm all the time angry at religion. I never truly belived in it. I detested going out in service, and thought it was a waste of a perfectly good saturday. So I'm not mad at finding out its a lie.
But I think I'm angry at my present situation. Being repressed and such. I get really angry at odd times for no reason, like my mind is breaking (prolly true ;) ) .
