What Emotion Do You Have Now Because You Were One Of Jehovah's Witnesses?

by minimus 56 Replies latest jw friends

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  CountryGuy

  I have many emotions when it comes to the dubs: pity, sorrow, regret. But, the underlying emotion is ANGER. At them for teaching such a skewed "Christian" point of view. And, at me, for going along with it for so long, without questioning it.

  I have forgiven myself now, because I realize that cults use the methods they do because they work. And, to escape from any cult takes a whole lot of strength.

  I think that Blondie said it best:

  Find a few good, loyal friends. Follow your dreams. It's only too late when you are dead.

  The best revenge is living a full, happy life.

  CountryGuy
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  jaguarbass

  Today, 23 years after leaving, I am numb. But I have gone through many emotions anger, depression, fear. Some people say there are only 2 emotions fear and love. Anger and depression mask fear. I dont know if I believe that but I've heard it. I've never had the emotion of joy because I was a witness.

  Thoreau said" people live lives of quiet desperation."

  Elaine on Seinfeild said she'd rather be thin and misserable than fat and misserable.

  I think the human conditon gravitates toward misery, so it would be convenient to blame our misery on the Jehobahs witnesses. Too live life to the fullest the blame trap must be avoided or overcome.
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  becca1

  Having been a witness for all my 47 years and now going through a slow fade, my overwhelming feeling is an intense desire to be myself. I feel a need to be free to express my true feelings, likes, dislikes, whatever w/o having to filter my thoughts, words and actions through the Society's filter of what I am supposed to be. It's as if I have been living someone else's life all these years and I don't want to waste any more time. I had my childhood stolen from me, I lived my early and middle adulthood trying to conform to standards I did not always agree with or feel were necesary. I don't want to spend the rest of my life not being true to myself. I don't want to waste any more time.
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  BlackPearl

  "I don't want to spend the rest of my life not being true to myself. I don't want to waste any more time."

  Amen, Becca. The idea, is NOT to continue on angry, rather, live your life being true to yourself and don't waste any more TIME being angry. Being angry, and stewing on what we've lost will yeild absolutely nothing. Nothing, but more wasted time.

  Also, I like what the a previous poster wrote, "The greatest revenge is being happy" or something to that effect.
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  sass_my_frass

  I used to be angry, but now I'm grateful that the worst thing that's ever happened to me was cult involvement. I've never been abused, addicted, ill or disabled, a victim of crime or war or natural disaster, bereaved.... life has been pretty good really, and now that I'm out of the WBTS, it's also getting a lot better. I like to keep our experience in perspective; being a JW certainly sucked and was a waste of life, but there are far worse things that happen to people. I congratulate people who can put it behind them.
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  sass_my_frass

  I should qualify that: I agree that it's a terrible thing and that it takes a long time to settle it, but I encourage everybody to focus on putting it behind them. It's going to take a lot of time and everybody would have a different approach, but life is literally too short to waste on the negative emotions.
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  itsallgoodnow

  it hasn't been a walk in the park, that's for sure. I've been through the initial joy, then anger.... and more anger.

  I don't know how long this is going to go on or what I will go through, but I'm much better prepared to go through it now than I would have been if I had been disfellowshipped for something 2 years ago.

  It won't be easy, but it won't be the end of the world.

  So, as things are now, I'd say I think it's kind of a joke. I can only laugh at the absurdity of it all.
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  return visitor

  I don't blame the borg, I joined and 26 years latter I am leaving. No use crying over spilt milk. My decisions brought some heartache but also some blessings, (my wife and family).
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  lv4fer

  I'm still angry with myself for allowing myself to be brainwashed. I was young when I fell for it. A new wife and mother 21 years old. So I guess I can cut myself a little slack. I am glad I'm out though
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  TheCoolerKing

  An emotion that I have felt is also a sense of relief. And a new sense of freedom and happiness. I no longer feel that I have to stress myself out, trying to live up to the impossible standards set forth by the JW religion.

  A friend told me about this forum. I recently joined to read about what others have gone through and also to share my experiences with ex-JWs as well. I'm looking forward to spending more time on here, I think that it will help me alot. Sometimes we all need to vent and get things "off our chest". It's tough for people who were not directly involved in the JWs to understand the emotional pain that many of us have experienced.

  And thanks to everyone for your "Welcome" messages to me. It's great to be here with others that understand...