two birds with one stone, without getting stoned. possible?

by TheKings 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TheKings
    TheKings

    i really need some help from the experts. the situation i'm living in now is that i'm currently saving money to move out. my family are JW's, but actually only my mom is baptised. my other sisters are on the verge of baptism and my dad is just along for the ride and goes to meetings because he wants to avoid getting kicked out of the house for his repeated rank behavior and drug-abuse. he thinks if he tries to do good he'll get one second chance after another, but that's beside the point.

    i was raised a JW, just like my sisters but i was always the independent one and drifted away from the teachings. i went into deep bouts of depression and cut myself because i viewed myself as worthless for straying and being evil. i lived a double life because i wanted to hurt myself... i did dangerous things and had sex to disown myself and the things i was taught. i had a nervous breakdown and was put on dangerous seizure meds for my tremors which only exacerbated the problem. i lost so much weight that i wore size 0 jeans and they were loose... i lost my drivers license and my college scholarship.

    i sitll haven't gotten either back ... my mom is happy, secretly, because likes me to be tied down where she doesn't have to worry about me running off again. she blames the whole thing on worldly people when it was really the JW's teachings, and it was my worldly friends who helped me through it. i haven't been to a meeting since the memorial last year which i went to just to avoid confrontation with my mother.

    they don't ever give me a hard time about the meetings anymore, they just accept it and once in a while telll me they wish i'd come back. i have not yet told her my stance since i want to avoid being kicked out with nowhere to go...but my boyfriend is offering me a roof, however i don't want to make the move until i have my finances in line.

    they don't know i have a boyfriend and they don't know i've been to these sites and found out all about the secrets of the JW organisation, and i have to hide that i'm even on this forum. telling them is not an option...the few times i tried to tell my mom about my real self she screamed at me with JW concepts backing all of her arguments...

    i'm facing the problem now of how to tell her i've been seeing a man for 2 years and am soon moving in with him and telling her the things i've learned through these sites. she won't trust any criticism of the organisation coming from me since i'm not going to meetings anymore...but i feel a responsibilty to say SOMETHING because my sisters are about to get baptised and commit their lives to it.

    help!

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    One might think I would be reluctant to tell you that, in my opinion, you should stay at home with family. Mom doesn't make you go to meetings and you have some people who care about you. Maybe the guy cares/maybe not, but you are not ready to be out there. Let family help you thru the tough part of adjusting to life. Stay clean and sober for a year/ at least 6 mos. before moving out. Keep your secrets if you must.

  • TheKings
    TheKings

    thanks...

    i am clean and sober. i don't drink or do drugs. i wasn't THAT stupid. i am smart enough not to leave without being ready...but it's nice to know i have an option. although my family cares, they still watch me like a hawk and don't allow me to have any friends unless i'm going to make JW ones.

    my life is very controlled.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Okay, your life has some tough decisions.

    There are some great folks here who don't know you, but will share their input, for what it's worth.

    Welcome to the JWD. Stay out of that crazy religion, whatever you do. That was one battle you won.

  • TheKings
    TheKings

    it's strange...i'm here looking for answers and they are all doing their pre-study. :p i love it when they leave and i have the house all to myself.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Stay awhile and some folks will have their thoughts. You never know who's here, because many are overseas in different timezones.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    You might approach your sisters and leave Mom out of discussing JW's. If your mom hears it, she probably will freak out some. I don't think she would throw you out or give up on you, but informing her about a boyfriend and JW's could be alot. Try just the sisters.

  • TheKings
    TheKings

    good advice, thank you...

    i know they will tell her though...unless i'm able to do it perfectly. i was never that close with any of them because through-out my life i've always had to hide my true self.

    the first step will be the hardest one of all.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    You probably know what to do, but maybe a suggestion. Tell your sisters Mom can't handle the truth about the Truth and this needs to be our secret. If it's blown, then the sisters still learned something.

  • TheKings
    TheKings

    that's a very good suggestion, since they know just how psycho she can get...and they've been having huge problems lately. they come home every night from the meeting and all she does it complain about how everyone hates her there so she has to move congregations again.

    she's the type of person who loves being a martyr no matter how much she protests. they know how she gets, especially with me. that might work.

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