An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar on orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."
IRISH HUMOUR
by ania 25 Replies latest social humour
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Y I Man
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ania
ok ok one more...
The next joke is a personal fav:
The New Priest
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he couldn't stand still.
He asked Father Murphy for some advice. Father Murphy replied, "When I'm
worried about gettin' nervous on the pulpit, I take a wee bit o' whiskey.
Just to calm my nerves."
So the next Sunday he took the older priest's advice. Before the
mass, he got nervous and took a drink. He then proceeded to talk up a
storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note
on his door:1. A few sips of whiskey. Not the whole bottle.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
Senior, Junior, and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say
"He was stoned off his ass."
10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this
and eat it, for it is my body"; he did not say, "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks
for the grub, yea God"
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Patrick's,
not a patrick-pulling contest at St. Taffy's. -
ania
Ha ha good one Y I Man
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Dansk
A row of terraced houses in Dublin was being demolished when builders found the skeleton of a man behind a wall.
Dental records have revealed the skeleton is that of Dermot McMichael, the 1954 all-Ireland hide and seek champion!
Ian
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ania
Hey Dansk i just read that joke to my kids and my daughter (14) is still laughing her self silly 12 minutes later she's been in a teenage grump all day so thanks for that!
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Dansk
You're welcome, Ania. I try to please!
Ian