No dating outside of religion?

by TillMorning 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • TillMorning

    Hey this is my first post and since the search option is down I figured I'd risk getting flamed.

    Anyway, I have a problem. This belief of not dating anyone who isnt a there anyway around it? anyway short of converting them? Because the person is truly great, but parents have forbidden us from seeing each other. So...any help would be accepted.

  • poppers

    Welcome TillMorning. I wouldn't get your hopes up.

  • ladybug25

    This is going to sound horrible but... convert, date her, marry her, leave and since divorce is forbidden, she is stuck with you. :)

    Besides that, you're screwed. Unless she is willing to go behind her parent's back.

  • Dansk


    Because the person is truly great, but parents have forbidden us from seeing each other.

    You don't tell us how old you and your girl are. Is she under age, i.e. subject to parental law?

    Whatever, if you are serious about each other your girl will have to give up being a JW. It wouldn't be easy - but it's not impossible


  • fullofdoubtnow

    Hi Tillmorning, and welcome.

    How serious is she about the religion? If she is really committed, then you have a hard road ahead of you. If you marry her, and she is still a jw, then she will be under pressure to convert you. If she isn't that bothered, she may leave it to be with you.

  • zeroday

    It is highly discouraged but what are they going to do disfellowship you. If you both are of legal age they can't stop you. I know of a number of witness males that married worldly women and then converted them and no retribution was brought to them.

  • chiddy

    Just been reading the latest watchtower Nov15th and there is an article on page 67 which says that "faithful servants of god are not to date non- witness at any time, the punishment now is Public Stoning by the local elders" be warned!

  • zeroday
    the punishment now is Public Stoning

    Let him without sin cast the first stone... Actually I know of a number of current Elders that married outside the truth, converted their wives and did not impede their advancement.

  • kitten whiskers
    kitten whiskers

    Have you seen the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"? Watch it, and replace the pride/importance of being greek that the father feels with being a jw and you will have a pretty good idea of the trials. One exception I can think of, in the movie they commit fornication. As a jw, she would be disfellowshipped. Also they are dating without a chaperone. She will be marked as bad association because she is spiritually weak. Sorry. In the movie the boyfriend says "We're not different species", but that is about how bad it is viewed. If you watch it, you'll see the grief she has to go through.

    Best Wishes, Kitten Whiskers

  • blondie


    It is STRONGLY SUGGESTED that JWs not date or marry outside their religion. It is not a disfellowshipping offense, that is the elders wont convene a judicial committee and boot the person out ordering all members, including family to shun them.

    But JWs marry outside their religion; perhaps about 2 every year per congregation. If the JW is a man, he will lose any "privileges" or special stature in the congregation for at least a year. If the JW is a woman (women have fewer privileges), she will not be able to be a regular/auxiliary pioneer (need elder approval). Both will probably be marked, which means they will be socially shunned by JWs for an indefinite time period (JWs know when that is up when they see the elders socializing with the couple).

    I married outside my religion and this is why I know from experience not theory. Eventually my spouse did become a JW, but a black cloud hung over me for the whole time I was a member of the Watchtower organization. We are both out now and still happily married and glad to be out from under the thumb of the WT organization.


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