Did You Ever "Report" Someone (Or Yourself) To The Elders???

by minimus 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • under_believer

    I did hear, puck. I saw your littlest sister at the circuit assembly recently (after your brother's announcement) and she looked really sad.

    At some point I'll tell the whole story... it's coming out bit by bit here on JWD, but I'll get around to compiling all of it soon.

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    No I never did. I suffered just as much guilt for NOT doing this that many of you here expressed.

    My father was a closet smoker. I never actually saw him smoking, but saw the evidence (hidden cigs around the house/garage, stained fingers and teeth, and smelt it on his clothes and breath). My brother knew of his habit as well. All through my life I sat in my chair in the KH and listened to the talks on "keeping Gods org clean", "secret sins" etc etc etc. I used to squirm in my chair. I thought for sure I would never make it into the new system because I knew what my father was doing and didn't tell.

    This affected my relationship with my father to a great extent. I loved the man dearly and miss him terribly, but am also mad at him for putting me and my brother through that! It's sad to think of how much better our relationship could have been without this guilt.

    When it came time for baptism (my brother and I were baptized together) we confronted my father about this. We felt we couldn't be baptized with this hanging over us. He flatly denied it, so did my mother (she knew, we had talked to her about it first and she admitted she had her suspicions). My brother and father almost came to physical violence over the situation. There was nothing more we could do.

    When recently I tried to talk to my mother about how this affected my brother and I she said if it bothered us so much we should have went to the elders about it!!!!!!!!!!!! I was floored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She knew too and yet it was a child's responsibility to do something about it????!!!!

    I've worked really hard to let go of the guilt I felt all those years. It hasn't been easy, but I refuse to give in to the guilt the WT heaps on its followers.


  • restrangled

    Dear BB...

    How awful for you! This religion has caused more emotional damage to so many families I dare not contemplate it too long or too hard lest I go over the edge with anger.

    Such an awful thing to put children through, and it must have had an effect on every situation in your young years, along with the pain now.

    I so feel your pain and sympathize. It cheated you out of a comfortable, loving, trusting relationship with one parent or maybe both.

    All my best, love, R.

  • jaguarbass


  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    At 15 I was ratted out by a worldly person (she told a sister she worked with ) for having sex with her ex boyfriend ! He was eighteen. During the JC the elders kept trying to get me to tell them if one of my JW friends was involved with worldly boys . I lied and said no . Then they called me at home and kept guiltying me that we are all responsilbe in keeping the org clean . So I finally told them she had told me she had slept with her boyfriend too . In the next few days I was verbally assulted by her mother saying I was a rotten liar and I just wanted to drag someone down with me ! Her father told me I was no good and would end up out of the truth like my brothers . (even though he was an alcoholic and beat his children with belt buckles ) After that I wised up enough to deal very little with the elders as regards other peoples issues. Several times when my children were being grilled because someone had reported bad conduct on their part , the elders still used the technique to guilt them into ratting on anything they might know about someone else . My kids were smarter than me and kept quiet.

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