S-E-X for ex-jw couples........(is that an oxymoron?) (page 2)

Gill

Hi Juniper and Welcome1

JW men NEVER looked sexy or appealed to me. I understand what you mean. I think I must have been attracted to my husband simply because, in his mind he never believed the WT BS!

How can you be interested in a man who is obsessed with his 'Watchtower Postition?'

Certainly listen to Lady Lee! It is time for you to be the people you really or, not Watchtower Slaves anymore. Don't let your sex lives slip away simply because of what you were. You're new people now!

I hope you find your happiness together!

fokyc

Gill,

We can't be seen this close together with this subject matter , we might have to appear before the whatsit!!

BAD, BAD fokyc

Juniper

Hey - I just checked this topic this morning when I got up....

Thanks for all the support!!! Wow - this site is amazing. I think I may replace my MySpace addiction with this one now!!!!

Thanks again - you guys are super...

mrsjones5

All of the above and buy some sexy high heels (be careful don't break an ankle) and some fishnet stockings

lovelylil

Like all the cults, the WT is obsessed with "proper sex". It is ridiculous. Sex is normal. Sex is natural. There are no biblical restrictions on married couples sex at all. I always thought it so laughable when we got those "proper sex in marriage" talks.

Also ditto the person who was not attracted to JW's. (I think gill?). I am with you on that one. They looked like expressionless drones. And most of the JW men I knew where so COLD emotinally. Thank God I am married to a hot Puerto Rican man with a great sex drive!

My advice: explore many different positions. A good book on this is one like Karma Sutra. Or the JOY of sex. Don't worry to much about being a long time married couple, I find my sex life gets better the older me and hubby get. So feel free to explore - guilt free! Lilly

Sirona

I've been out of the JWs for about five years now. I do remember the twinges of guilt when I first left the JWs and my marriage broke up. The first time I slept with someone else I actually started to worry about the big A coming since I was now a "fornicator" !

The act of sex itself and being adventurous was never really an issue though. I don't recall ever allowing the JWs to control what I did in the bedroom.

Nowadays, I can say that I've never felt more sexually liberated - in fact its better than ever!

Sirona

greendawn

The Bible does mention periods of sexual abstention for couples but this is strictly up to them and absolutely not compulsory, just like celibacy. Some couples may want to engage in intense spiritual activity for a while without distractions, similarly some individuals may fast (no food) for a few days.

Otherwise sex was made for humans and that's part of the human set up, a couple can engage in sex now and an hour later participate in a religious worship service.

daystar

Hey, I have a little exciting, maybe even a bit naughty, idea for you guys. This is something I've thought about doing before to spice things up.

Go out together, but not together. Go to a bar or club separately. Act like you're single (within reason) and don't know each other. If you each get flirted with a bit by others, even better.

After a while, one of you makes "the move" and buys the other a drink. Flirting ensues, etc. And you guys end up having a "one-night stand".

The point of this is, if you both still see each other in your old respective roles, you need to do some things to break down those old images of each other. Do something new and maybe even a bit scary and exciting. Talk about some things you both have always wanted to do and make plans to do them, within the law of course.

Finally-Free

Sex??? What's that??? It's been so long I'm surprised I remember how to spell it.

I was very active before joining the cult, and the sudden abstinence was a shock to my system. Then I got married, and I'll refrain from commenting on that. I've been out of the cult and separated for over 3 years now. I feel no inclination to date or get involved with anyone on any level. A few women have asked me out, and family and friends have tried to set me up with women. I always find a way to gracefully decline. Just the thought of getting involved with someone gets me agitated.

W

Smiles_Smiles

Well even though I am not coupled with an x-jw I can relate to the stigma that has to be addressed during the deprogramming phase.

Just a few ideas to add to the others here.

I could get all philosophical regarding how having the soul opened to the other person during sex is what truly helps accomplish intimacy and helps to let the JW images to dissipate. But I wont go into all that because I am sure you have already considered that side of the issue.

One thing I can recommend is a book that might even be at your local public library. It's call the 'Joy of Sex'. It gives great ideas on what to do to truly promote a deeper level of emotional and sexual intimacy. I am sure you and your husband already have a measure of this but going deeper into this side of your relationship may truly help to leave the pioneer/elder images behind. Plus can add a little spice to things. Helps to see each other as truly sexual beings and not just all the other stuff we see our partners as (the hats that we all wear or have worn).

I hope that helps and good luck. Remember time really helps heal also during the de-programming stage of things ~hugs~

Smiles

S-E-X for ex-jw couples........(is that an oxymoron?)

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