Disfellowship Removal

by easyshi 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • easyshi

    I am not a JW but my wife was raised as one. We were married about 14 months ago and she wants to re-join the organization in a different location from the disfellowing location. I believed she was kicked out 14 years ago for comitting adultery to get out of a bad marriage (her story). I do not believe as the JW's and have had much contact with them. I love my wife very much but am very concerned that if she becomes a full fledged member it will impact the marriage greatly. My questions are many but I hope she is not re-instated. Can anyone shed some light on the removal of disfellowship process.



  • fullofdoubtnow

    Hi easyhi, and welcome to the forum.

    This link will take you to the elders manual, where there is a section dealing with disfellowshipping, reinstatement etc.

    http://www.dbhome.dk/carlo/unit5c2.htm There is also some information about disfellowshipping on the Quotes site, at this link:


    I hope that helps you


  • OnTheWayOut

    While she is "out" she is free to investigate JW's. Encourage her to go to freeminds.org, silentlambs.org, read Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz, get advice from these boards, etc. I'm sure others will suggest more.

    Insist that she do this to be "fair" to you. She was "out" when you married, she should be compliant with her "head" before she goes in. "If these don't change your mind, then you will be sure."

  • doinmypart

    Welcome easyhi.

    You and your wife have a long road ahead of you. Here's what might happen:
    The elders in her former congregation will be in contact with the elders in the new congregation she wants to attend. They will share all of the details of her "sin." A new judicial committee (jc) will be formed in the new congregation, the jc will meet with her every few months monitoring her progress. She will have to attend all meetings, sit at the back of the kingdom hall, be ignored by everyone for anywhere from six months to a couple of years depending on the elders on the jc. If her ex-husband did not want to end the marriage and was agreeable to forgiving her and staying in it, then she will probably have to wait longer to be re-instated. Do whatever you can to dissuade her from re-instating. It won't be good for either of you in the long run.

  • sspo

    She will have to go to a process od attending meetings and sitting in the back row and no one will talk to her as long as she is disfellowshipped. After a couple months of attending meetings or less she can write a brief letter to the elders stating her willingness to return to the organization and her true heartfelt repentance of what she did in the past.

    if she faithfully makes all the meetings and of course it depends on the body of elders , she can be reinstated in a matter of six months.

    It will put a wall between you and her if you have no faith in the religion ( since you are on this board you might know a lot about the JW's and its cultish ways ) .

    I just lost my wife after 27 years of marriage due to my "apostasy" .

    Does she know about this forum ? Does she know about the teachings and the Watchtower history and failed prophecies?

    Is your marriage on solid ground or does she want to put a wedge between you and her by using religion.

    I've seen it done before in situations like yours so the unbeiliving mate will walk away from the marriage, I certainly hope it's not the case

  • mama1119

    Definitely encourage her to do some research before she commits to anything. She may just have some leftover guilt, and if she is can see it is not the truth, that guilt will subside, along with her desire to go back.

    Hope all the info on here helps you!


  • banished1

    Im not sure if it was stated....that the reinstatement process can take longer than six months. It is purely at the elders' discretion whether to reinstate or not. I have heard some have waited six months to a year and even longer. Tell her it could be up to a year sitting in the back of the hall and book studies in silence and shame. It was too much for this heart I'll tell you. I kept thinking............from God's view is this right? What would my parents think if they were alive? What would my grandparents think? What do other good Christian folk think of this insulting abusive treatment? What would Jesus think? What would the prodigal son and his father think? It is not healthy, is counter productive and mean spirited, unchristian and a very ugly aspect of the religion.

  • Dismembered

    Greetings easyshi,

    :Can anyone shed some light on the removal of disfellowship process.

    As was mentioned, 6 months or longer in the penalty box.This of course is after she'd confess her 14 year old sins to 2 or 3 dopes she doesn't even know. Then she can sit at the KH like a "dead" lumponalog waiting for those dopes to change their minds, and finally consider her moral enough for the others to talk to her.


  • defective light
    defective light

    It will put a wall between you and her if you have no faith in the religion ------ AMEN!

    and families who are non-witless!

  • easyshi

    Thanks for the help and encouragement. I honestly believe that if she goes back in she will end up being unhappy in the long run. We have known each other for over 5 years and I'm sure we broke many JW rules in the process. I also consider myself a Muslim and carry an Islamic name (not practicing all doctrines and leading pretty much a secular life). She has the name and I'm sure if the Elders (internal Affairs Officers) do a thorough investigation they may have doubts about her ability to hold the line. In the mean time I plan to do my best to continue my following all of the things that we have done along the way, that includes holidays (house decorating), vacations, social drinking and partying, poker playing, and other forms of gaming etc. I'm not going to allow her to feel that there is going to be an easy transition, at the hall or at home. I really feel that this will break up the marriage if it goes her way, but she is going to be the one to have to make the choice.

Share this