HELP PLEASE - Youngster At Risk

by Joe Grundy 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • Joe Grundy
    Joe Grundy

    (I am not, never have been, a JW. I am an apostate of the Whore of Babylon and have been awarded the title of honorary apostate here.)

    I very recently posted about how I had come into contact with a poster on an entirely unrelated MB whose step-daughter (age about 12) was, I concluded, studying with JWs along with her natural Mum. I passed onto the step-mum a precis of information I had gahered from various sources, and later the step-mum contacted me and told me that the step-daughter had pulled out.

    Out of the blue today, the step-mum has contacted me by e-mail and asked me to re-send the information I gave her previously. It appears, sadly, as if the step-daughter has re-entered the danger zone.

    I have, of course, given her a link to this site (and have offered to post on her behalf if needed). I have checked through my bookmarked sites but quite a number of those are about the more detailed problems with the teachings, etc. (which is what I was looking for, but not really suitable for this purpose).

    What I need is/are some links to sources suitable for a pre-teen girl to explain exactly what getting involved with the org will entail, personal experiences, etc.

    The immediate advice I have given is that baptism is to be avoided at all costs.

    I have the e-mail addresses of a couple of young lady posters here (e.g. Crumpet). I wondered whether putting them in touch with the step-mum (with their consent, of course) may be useful.

    Any thoughts, comments, advice, suggestions, gratefully accepted and passed on.

  • AudeSapere

    The very first thought that comes to my mind is: Jesus was 30 years old before he got baptized. There is a reason for this.

    Possibly directing her some non-witnesses who had enjoyable teenage years would be good. We were constantly told that early baptism and staying close within the congregation and busying ourselves with theocratic interests was a safeguard from drug abuse and unwanted pregnancies.

    I always wondered how my non-witnesses fought off all those powerful worldly influences.

    They used their minds and hearts and did not always have to lead a double life, like us witness kids did.


  • CyrusThePersian

    Hi Joe!

    Show her this: (or print it out for her)

    It's a long, long list of things JW's can't do. It's a real eye-opener for the uninitiated.


  • Joe Grundy
    Joe Grundy

    Thanks for these. Duly passed on.

    Anything else gladly received.

  • rebel8

    You have my consent to give my email address. It's in my profile.

  • crazyblondeb

    I haven't entirely read this site. But it's suppose to be what growing up has a JW is about. It was written by someone df'd at 16. Don't know if it'll help.

  • fullofdoubtnow

    You can give her my email address as well if you like Joe, I will pm it to you. I'd be more than happy to help protect anyone from this cult.


  • kitten whiskers
    kitten whiskers

    Poor baby!

    She will hear things said to make you feel guilty if she doesn't get baptised. Youth baptisms are glorified. I was raised in truth (mother jw, father not-divided household). I felt the pressure. Every assembly they tell the age of the youngest baptized and the oldest. Let's say there is an 8 year old baptized. Will he change as he grows? Yes. Does the child have a love for God. Probably. Does the child have a love for parents? Probably. As a child our whole desire is to please those closest to us. If we are a child who loves God, we are scared at the thought of his displeasure. WE WILL DO ANYTHING TO PROVE OUR LOVE.

    Ask her if she loves God. She will most likely say yes. If you do too, tell her about your love for him and how you feel he has helped you in your life. The fact that Jehovah listens to prayers of non-jws is hard to comprehend for a witness.I was shocked at age 33 to learn my dear sweet worldly grandmother knew God's name was Jehovah. I told her all my doubts . She was my great comfort in all this as she always has been. We are always told people don't know God's name. When I said I really do think God's name is Jehovah she said"oh yes. of course it is!" I WAS SO SHOCKED. We went to a Southern baptist church and they sang a song that said "There's no God like Jehovah." Does she know others BESIDES jws use his name in worship and singing. Probably not. My husband (raised 3rd generation jw) and I stood there with shocked disbelief- I swear our mouths hung open. Ask her if God loves her. She may say yes, because she can read it in the bible and she hears it said from time to time at the kingdom hall. But in her heart, does she feel she is special to God and loved by him without being baptized yet? Does she know that she can dedicate her life to Jehovah through prayer and that he is reading her heart and LOVES HER for her. The bible does say to be baptized. But it also says God reads the heart. If Jehovah reads the heart, he knows her.She is most likely afraid of dying at Armageddon (we are told the unbaptized will, even though at the same time we are told God is love and won't destroy those with the right heart condition). Show her she is worthwhile as a person. The witnesses destroy your self esteem. You are NEVER good enough. You are NEVER doing enough study or field service. There is ALWAYS guilt. At such a fragile age as 12, this guilt is paralizing.

    Tell her how the issue of blood is changing. The issue of using certain parts of blood are now a conscience matter. If baptized she will need to decide what and if she will use these for herself. The DPA (the document you sign for if you become unconscious and a representative to make medical decisions for you) allows you to put down what blood fractions you will accept if any. If a witness in good conscience will accept certain fragments it is not looked down upon. But where will these fractions come from. NO JW CAN GIVE BLOOD FOR THESE TO BE MADE. Sounds pretty odd. You can accept them, BUT you can not help another person (fellow jw) or yourself by donating blood out of LOVE FOR fellow jws. This may still be a little over head, the pressure will be strong, but at her age she knows how to research school projects. This may get her thinking.

    Has she had all of her vaccinations? About this age i think they need a booster shot. Does she know that years ago the WTS said you could not have them? But is RECOMMENDING them now as disease preventers. It is still a personal issue but there is no evil attached to them now. What about the poor babies who died from not getting them. Was that fair?

    Has she ever been to another church? If she wants to go she needs to it before being baptized, becoming a publisher or giving talks on the ministry school. EVEN if YOU don't care to go, I would recommend taking her if she is curious, to one of your friends. Let her see these people are friendly and loving and love God and Jesus. Not Satanic. They are kind. They want her to have the best.

    Holidays will be hard. I remember around age 9 or 10 having to take a stand out of guilt. This was before the generation understanding changed. I thought i had to choose between God and celebrating birthdays or xmas. If I celebrated, God would kill me. That reasoning shows that God is not love. If he knew my heart and how much I love him, why have I always felt inadequate? Why is it hard to accept Christ's ransom and instead feel always having to prove by works. Works cannot save us. JW may say so as well, but their actions and attitude show otherwise.

    I read somones post about the field service report. If the society only has us write our hours down,placements, etc. to know the extent of work being done, Why do we need to put our names on them? If God reads the heart and we aren't supposed to compare ourselves with others so we don't get discouraged, why? Why titles of Publisher or Pioneer? If you are giving God your best why does anyone need to feel above or below their brother in Christ? Comparing is not healthful like this. Does God love us differently if we don't have the same circumstances but do our best? Why is it announced from the platform that certain ones are pioneering. I did. I was ALWAYS embarrassed by the announcement. It was something between me and Jehovah. No one else needed to know. I hated turning in the report with my name. With an ill husband and child at home i couldn't do what I had as a teenager and twentysomething. Once I had to come off the pioneer list, I was DEPRESSED for years. Didn't feel better till I left. Still suffer from low self esteem and swear I WILL NOT subject my children to that.

    The circuit and district assemblies are said to be the spiritual feasts that should never be missed. Of course they are. The so called encouragement is really a beating to do more, feel less confident and a failure because others are giving experiences on stage and they are idolized. I only left when I finally couldn't bear the load and being YELLED at from the podium about if we aren't doing our best in service and regularly participating we will be killed at armageddon. NO JOKE! I had driven 3 hours with 2 young children by myself through 2 big cities (Husband had to work-Thank god, I could see the lack of love the organization shows Jehovah to have by not having his help and doing this by myself). Here I had STRUGGLED against what i thought was Satan's trap to keep from it, given my ALL to get there on time, walked a good 1/2 mile in hot parking lot with 2 sleepy and tired children too big to carry, but too little to expect so much from, Carried bookbag, children's bags, pillow and blanket (air conditioned- kids would be cold and prayed they would fall asleep), and lunch. And then yelled at. This was one of the last talks at the friday session of the 2005 d. c. I was furious. I woke up the kids, only 25 minutes left of the session and walked out. I was so furious. Still am. My husband, on his way out, always tried to do everything he could, had taken saturday off to drive me. I didn't want to go. Who would want to serve a God like this. Yet I loved God and still do. Witnesses say other religions paint him cruel-hah!

    Anyway, hope this helps. Constantly remind her Jesus loves her. As a witness it is a rarity to really believe that and feel his love for you in your heart. Head knowledge is all it usually is.

    Witnesses jump from scripture to scripture to prove something that isn't there. Jesus has returned invisibly for one. REALLY? The angel said he would come in the clouds as THEY HAD JUST SEEN HIM LEAVE. THEY SAW HIM!!!! Was the angel lying? Why would jehovah let an angel lie like that? and then print it in the bible if it is inspired by holy spirit? Another question that always bothered me was the whole explantion of the star leading the wise men to jesus as a boy. If they were led by Satan and evil-Why did Jehovah allow mary and joseph to accept their gifts? Jehovah sent his angel to warn Joseph about Herod. If we recieved something from someone KNOWN to deal with demons (astrology) would you as a witness accept it? No. You'd be afraid of demons being attatched to the object. Why could they?

    Don't hit her with this all at once. Any pressure to NOT get baptized or go to meetings will be viewed as persecution by satan and PROVE beyond doubt for her that witnesses are right. We are SUPPOSED to be persecuted and ecspecially by family.

    If you love God and have a relationship with him, talk about it a little. Find common ground with her. If she does join, maybe your life example will pull her away. It helped me. There are people out there who love god and christ with all their hearts. they have the bible. He reads hearts. I couldn't imagine him saying my grandmother or father were wicked. I have never met a nicer woman on the face of this earth. her love for others transends anything the witnesses have. Yes, love is the identifying factor of a true follower of Christ.

    God bless you in this!

    Kitten Whiskers

  • unique1

    Tell her the simple facts.

    1. You will not be allowed to attend your proms or any school dances, they promote wordly association.

    2. You will not be allowed to be a cheerleader, athelete or in marching band or any other extra-curricular activity that may interfere with meeting nights.

    3. You more than likely will not be able to go to college. They teach those years should be spent in the preaching work.

    4. You will not be allowed to date or associate with your friends at school any more. THey are bad assocaition according to the Witnesses.

    Those alone should scare any 12 year old girl away.

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis

    My first question is:

    Where's the dad in all this?

    Second: If this young girl's real mom is deeply into this JW's by now, then is it possible that what matters more to this girl is what her real mom has to say on the matter and not her step mom?

    I'm not saying don't bother trying anything, but rather, she could get all this info on birthdays, christmas and whatnot, and those might not be the things that matter to her right now.

    Probaby best for the Step Mom and her Dad to make a huge effort to show her other reigious beliefs and philosophies and to encourage to look into all religions to make an educated decision on what she wants. Especially expressing concern that she look at all the information available to her before she makes that decision.

    The good thing is that she has a dad and step mom that can provide a good balance for her.

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