How many need to die before it raises a flag?!

by loli 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • greendawn

    The JWs have a very harsh policy for dealing with members that violate rules whether these are indeed Biblical or manmade and often anti biblical. They could have been much milder across the board but to them everything is black and white. Someone who celebrates Birthdays, a totally innocent social gathering, is as reprehensible in their eyes as one that commits adultery. Many people that can't stand the pressure of ostracism (emotional exile)commit suicide or have a nervous breakdown.

  • BlackPearl


    I'm so sorry for what you're going / gone through. I had no idea that a suicidal path was so prevelent. People who contemplate this path must feel so rejected and dejected that there are no other alternatives. Problem have no way of helping until it's too late.

  • purplesofa

    I found that after going through two pill overdoses that put my daughter in the hospitol......and one that did takes UNCONDITIONAL love to stick by a situation like that. It took all my energy and resources.......and something from inside me I did not know I had.

    I think at any time I could have taken on the thoughts of what I was told by the WTBTS. She is a sinner.......throw her out to the world. How much easier it is for the WTBTS to get rid of problems in this way. Let the world take care of them when we cannot or WILL not.

    Not all problems in life are a result of just wanting to be immoral. Its alot more complicated than that. And lack of education amongst the WTBTS on these more delicate people and the willingness to solve it by casting them out is a sin.

    They have no programs set up for any of lifes real stresses. So many are jacked up on drugs, totally lost in a world of denial....just to stay in.

    I could have thrown my daughter out...........and taken no responsiblity for her. Is that what the bible really teaches? Is that really love? I am ashamed that the WTBTS does not take responsiblity for these problems from thier own people. My daughter is not baptised so she could have association with the much harder for someone that has dedicated their very lives to the org.

    To name one that is recent is Jesus Canu. He is thrown out. He commited a crime, but he was a property of the Organization. When it got tough he was cast out without the society taking any responsibilty for what he has done. For all I know he may have committed suicide, I do not know.

    My half brother recently committed suicide and my stepfather.......none of which is related to being a JW. So I know how painful these deaths are. I did not know that some suicides are genetic until my brothers death. Some of this can be offset by a loving support group, building of self esteem......goals, jobs that are satisfying, families.

    When one is outcast for being human from the organization, this can be a sentence of death to them not only spiritually but physically. And like I have mentioned there is no feeling of responsiblity or accountablity within the organization. And this is going to be the leaders we supported to start a new system for us?

    My heart goes out to you for the loss of your sister. A poster here LyinEyes has lost her sister recently to suicide....look for some of her posts.......hopefully she will see this thread and comment.


  • jaguarbass

    Being DFwd is a major life change. If you are thrown out of the club and you wanted to be in it. It could be very upsetting. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Each one of us has to work out our own salvation.

  • jwcol

    I've asked the same thing so many times. When I was DFd, what I REALLY needed was some understanding and kindness. I thought about getting a gun, walking in the KH and blowing my brains out, I was soooo discouraged and depressed over it.

    I think that is a clinical depression is involved and you get into trouble that they should take that into account, but no, it's just about rule enforcement, not about love unfortunately.

  • loli

    I am sooo grateful for the comments offered on this subject. If there were only a way to get information to the dear, sweet souls that feel that they cannot be loved, forgiven, appreciated outside WTS. It was only after I left the org. that I was exposed to people from many backgrounds and belief systems who were able to love and give support - NO QUESTIONS ASKED. How strange, huh? I can't thank you all enough for how helpful this is to me. Peace, Loli

  • loli

    Guess I am good at killing threads :-)

  • carla

    I'm so sorry for all the losses all of you have suffered. I have to say since my studying jw's for over 3 years now and coming to this board and others I would have to say on average there has probably been at least one jw related suicide every three months. One month there were 4 different suicides. When I talk to people about the jw's they don't understand why so many suicides and why don't the jw authorities do something? It's hard to explain to them.

    a quick question- how big is a circuit? is it so many halls or a regional area? thanks.

  • ICBehindtheCurtain

    To Loli and the others that have lost loved ones to suicide I am sorry for your loss, I have been thinking alot about this subject because of a thread that was posted yesterday, about how minors that get baptized can then be df''d and how dangerous that can be. I wish there was a way to bring more attention to this through the Media, maybe on CNN or MSNBC or maybe Oprah, something has to be done! Perhaps to just put it out there to those that have been DF'd that they can call a number for support or something, I know there are various support lines for XJW's out there. I believe this could help many people, once they call they can open up and share their feelings and if there are major phsycological issues they can be directed to the proper care. This is one way they can also be enlightened as to the truth about the "Truth", and be freed from the guilt that overtakes them when they are df'd.

    I had a very difficult time growing up and dealt with abuse from my stepfather and had a very emotionaly devastating relationship with an MS in the congo when I was 15, I attempted suicide on various occasions, it seemed as the only way out, I thought hey, I will just sleep for an instant and wake up in Paradise ( I can't believe I ever thought that way). What saved me was my Mom, and self help books I would get at the library, and of course my faith in Jehoover at the time.


  • loli

    From what I remember, a circuit is about seven to ten congregations. Where I'm from, they even break down each one into "part A" "partB" etc. The attendance per section usually amounted to 1500 or so. That is a head count of attendees only, mind you, not just publishers. Also, would anyone have suggestions as to how to get some sort of media attention without sounding like a bunch of disgruntled ex-employees. It would be great to just have an objective interview segment that is free of name-calling, so that we (surviving family members and friends) can be heard. Perhaps mantal health professionals could also give commentary. Thanks to you all again!!!

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