Alone With the Opposite Sex

by purplesofa 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • blondie
    blondie

    Purplesofa, here is the 5/97 Question Box. The WTS leaves it up to any detailed knowledge the elders have and unofficially to the gossip mill in the congregation and/or circuit.

    ***

    km5/97p.2QuestionBox***

    ? Whatcautionsareneededwhenweareinassociationwithsomeoneoftheoppositesexinconnectionwithourministry?

    We have reason to expect that our brothers and sisters intend to adhere to the highest moral standard in their personal conduct. Nevertheless, we live in an unclean and permissive world that has few moral limitations. While we may have the best of intentions, we must be on guard constantly to avoid causing reproach or getting involved in something improper. This includes being careful while engaged in the ministry.
    In field service we often encounter people of the opposite sex who manifest what appears to be a sincere interest in the truth. If we are alone when we make the call and there is no one else at home, usually it would be best to give a witness at the door rather than go inside. If there is interest, arrangements can be made to return when we will be accompanied by another publisher or when others in the household will be present also. If this is not possible, it would be wise to turn the call over to a publisher of the same sex as the householder. This also applies to conducting Bible studies with someone of the opposite sex.?Matt. 10:16.
    We need to be careful when choosing someone to work with in the ministry. Although publishers of the opposite sex may work together at times, this is best done when with a group. Ordinarily, even while in the ministry, it is not wise for us to be spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex who is not our marriage mate. Hence, the brother in charge of the service group should use good judgment when assigning publishers, including teenagers, to work together.

    Once again the WTS is only interested in appearances, not substance. I commented elsewhere that the elder's manual purports that sex only happens at night when it comes to determining if unchaperoned JWs of the opposite sex had sex. Unchaperoned, during the day, no eyewitnesses--no sex took place. Unchaperoned, during the night, no eyewitnesses--sex took place.

    Also, notice this "both sides of the mouth" comment:

    ***

    w932/15p.15par.12"LetMarriageBeHonorableAmongAll"***

    In developed countries some have fallen into Satan?s trap by often being with a member of the opposite sex and without a third person present?such as regularly being in the confined intimacy of a car for driving lessons.Elders doing shepherding calls also need to exercise caution so as not to be alone with a sister when counseling her. Conversations can become emotionally charged and result in an embarrassing situation for both parties.?Compare Mark 6:7; Acts 15:40.

    Footnote

    w93 2/15 p. 15 par. 12 "Let Marriage Be Honorable Among All"

    Obviously, there would be proper occasions when a brother would provide transport for a sister, and such situations should not be misconstrued.

    And who decides what are proper occasions?

    Blondie

  • KW13
    KW13

    first time my girlfriend came around here, came in ma' room we went on the tinternet and stuff and listened to music - anyway as soon as she had left mum came up and said "me and xxxx (stepdad) don't feel its appropriate for you and megan to be alone"

    sooo i went mad and demanded a reason but none came.

    anyway, there were so many arguements over this as time went on - even now there are problems. i had to discuss terms with stepdad so that megan can have 5mins upstairs to for example help me carry something downstairs, but that took 30mins arguing.

    also when they go out to a meeting, we are kicked out and have to go out (i have a key so we creep back).

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa
    as regularly being in the confined intimacy of a car for driving lessons.

    This just cracked me up. I just did not know that so many needing driving lessons from the opposite sex was a problem in the org. I did not know how to drive untill after I married (strange I know) and the last thing on my mind was sex.........with my husband who I thought was going to kill me!!!!

    Anywayyyyyy

    Thanks for the info Blondie.

    Recognizing our sexuality for what it is ......helps in embarrassing situations. The more comfortable and the more we can admit that we are normal men and women..........we say and do things that are sexual and sensual........does not mean we would or will act on it. The society is forever trying to isolate to fix problems instead of insulating one to be able to handle situations that a common among the sexes.

    Elders doing shepherding calls also need to exercise caution so as not to be alone with a sister when counseling her. Conversations can become emotionally charged and result in an embarrassing situation for both parties.?

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa
    also when they go out to a meeting, we are kicked out and have to go out

    now thats a good solution!!!

  • daystar
    daystar

    The JWs live in a universe where without their rules people would be fornicating in the streets.

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo
    In field service we often encounter people of the opposite sex who manifest what appears to be a sincere interest in the truth

    often

    often...

    wishful thinking surely

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet
    The JWs live in a universe where without their rules people would be fornicating in the streets.

    Are you suggesting you wouldnt be doing exactly this daystar - cause I dont believe you!

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    I used to work alone with my Pioneer partner..a sister.Everyone trusted us.We had grown up together and everything.

    Shame ,we fornicated like rabbits whilst out in rural territory tho.Never had sex tho..that woulda been bad!

    I agree that JW,s are obseesed with sex tho.

    Its always the stupid ,geeky, Single Bro,s in theyre late 30,s ,40,s and 50,s who act the self righteous fools when pairing up people for ministry."Bro,ive noticed you work with sis so and so a lot..you should probably work with someone else today."

    Yep,they are the ones gagging for it..and not getting it.

  • brutusmaximus
    brutusmaximus

    Tij

    Who was the CO that did the dirty I never heard that story, if you don't want to name names I understand

    BM

  • Devilsnok
    Devilsnok

    I was at the KH one Sunday morning before the meeting had started the night before i had been out with some brothers and had had a bit much to drink. I was feeling pretty ill.

    I was in my early 20's and was friendly with this elderly sister who was in her 70's She had been a nurse at one stage and noticed I was a strange colour and when she asked me if I was OK I told her I felt a bit faint.

    She hauled me out of my seat and pushed and pulled me into the men's toilets where she rolled up my sleeves and put my wrists under the cold tap and let the water run on them. After a few minutes I was feeling OK again so we decided to leave.

    You should have seen the brothers faces when they saw us coming out of the men's toilets together! It was nothing to do with the fact that I had felt ill it was more to do with the fact i had been in there with a member of the opposite sex, even though she was at least 50 years older than I was!

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