Alone With the Opposite Sex

by purplesofa 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • mama1119

    I did find it strange how afraid JW were to be alone with the opposite sex. I mean, a few minutes of aloness and they are going to start stripping?? Isn;t their faith suppossed to be stronger than that?? Doesn't say a whole lot for them

  • zagor

    Oh Christ don't get me started on that one, they are more than insane. They are obsessed with sex. When I was a teen this fella studied bible with me. One time he had to dash out to get something form the shop and I had to go with him, just in case I might "screw his wife", forgive my French. She was 47 and I was 15, how about that?!? (Not to mention that my mom was only 38)... Of course, we wouldn't be there alone since they've had two kids, one 9 and one 5.
    Then I remember this other bro who used to run from one side of Australia to another thinking single sisters were after him (he used to call them Moabites Women ? how about that for sexual arousal)? LMAO I mean seriously what sister could resist having sex with someone who was on a dole for the last 15 years, lol
    I?m not surprised that eventually some of them really succumb to sexual temptation because the whole JW climate creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of that sort. What can happen if you only talk about sex (admittedly in negative emphasis for public on every meeting), think how to answer about sex, try to avoid sex, and try not to think about sex (rather confusing isn?t it) what else can happen but sex.

  • SirNose586

    Man, I hate that rule. One time there was a beach party and this cute sister from Japan needed a ride there. I offered to take her. But then her friend called me up and said, "You don't need to give her a ride, I'll do it."

    "Don't you have to go out of your way to do it though? It's easier for me to pick her up..." I said. It was true.


    It's not like I could get that far with the girl. Her English wasn't that good, and she wasn't very talkative to begin with. Plus if I fiddled with her in the car, someone would eventually find out, and I'd have to live down plenty of shame from the elders. Of course, being alone with the opposite sex must always lead to FORNICATION so I was wrong there.

    In my senior year, this girl who I had known (and who's family I'd been close with) for some time started asking me for rides to and from school. Her stepdad put a stop to that after a week, "Because it would look bad for you to be alone with the opposite sex." Nevermind that I had pretty much grown up with this kid, or that I knew I would be in deep crap if I fiddled with her in the car. It would "look bad." You know, I bet he regrets that now that this same girl is fully out of the org and probably has a skinny emo boyfriend.

  • looking_glass
    I'm not saying that someone would not have been "counseled" for being alone with someone of the opposite sex during the day, just that it was not grounds for df'ing.

    A brother or sister could be marked and/or lose privileges, be removed as an MS/elder or pioneer

    Truthfully it is a double standard. I grew up w/ all guys. I was one of the few girls my age in the area. I was never accused more of wanting to jump someone's bones then when I hung out w/ these boys that I considered brothers. But when my GF's JW husband was having an affair w/ a chick from work, the elders told her she had to have "proof" or he would have to admit to it. She actually has pictures of her then JW husband going into this woman's house and staying until the wee small hours and at one point all the lights in the house were out. Now do you think they counseled him. No during the marriage counseling session they asked him about the woman from work and he said "I don't want to talk about it" and they said "ok" and then turned to my GF and said "don't you want your husband to want you. maybe if you met the definition of a capable wife, he would not be tempted to look else where." Of course all I could think was ... you have got to be kidding me, these same group of knuckleheads counseled me about having a "brother" as a pioneer partner. I was not allowed to be alone in the car w/ another guy I grew up w/ because they threatened to remove him as an MS, and all these same group of idiot men can do is throw up their hands when the JW husband says he does not want to talk about the woman from work and then turn to my GF and say be a better wife.

  • sosad

    the cong i grew up in read "sex" into everything- they were sick really and truly. one sis wouldn't sit in the front seat of the car with her brother-in-law- with others in the car. the teens were constantly being regarded as sex fiends- pre teens were counselled for walking in a sexy way- no swimming in a pool with the brothers if you were a girl 11 and up - it might "tempt" them.

    they raised more sex curious kids than they would have innocence was allowed- everyone had to know what might happen if you were alone with an evil person of the opposite sex....oh, but that's not all my best friend and I were accused of being "way too close"- there are some that still believe we not just having sleep overs to talk about the boys...

    the now adults that left agree they had no idea how normal friendships were supposed to be for years. how sad

  • blondie



    The May 1997 OurKingdomMinistry "Question Box" recommended that we be cautious about working in the ministry with publishers of the opposite sex. There are good reasons for all to use good judgment in this matter. This does not mean that traveling overseers or even other brothers cannot work in the field ministry with sisters. Rather, the thought was expressed that it is not wise for a brother to be spending time regularly alone with the sameperson of the opposite sex to whom he is not related.

  • purplesofa
    recommended that we be cautious about working in the ministry with publishers of the opposite sex. There are good reasons for all to use good judgment in this matter.


    Does it say what the good reasons are and why be cautious?


    My mom was pioneering.......and I know there was a big thing about her picking a pioneer brother up to ride to the KH, it was not acceptable, but they did go out alone together in service. I think she was the only one pioneering and he was the only one aux pioneering. She quit meeting at the KH or made her own arrangements before arrangements were made at the Hall.

    Also, another instance, where my mother felt a brother was inappropriate with her over a period of time. She fineally went to the elders and they asked/accused her of doing things to warrent this behaviour. The way she dressed.....friendliness, etc etc. She said they really tried to make her feel like she was the one causing all this. Needless to say, she said she would never go to elders with a problem again.

  • rocketman

    Yep, this all underscores the jw obsession with sex.

    One time, I was out in service with a sister (married), alone, because another car group for some reason failed to show in the territory. The sister and I decided later to hit the local bagel shop for coffee break. An elder and his car group came just before we left.

    Later, I got a phone call from the elder wondering why I was alone with her and he attempted to counsel me on the impropriety of being alone with her. The thought of having sex with this woman never crossed my mind. It obviously crossed his.

    These days, I routinely have lunch, alone, with various female friends. Sex has yet to occur, and frankly I'm too hungry over my lunch hour to think about sex. Guess that doesn't make me a good jw.

  • diamondblue1974
    Yep, this all underscores the jw obsession with sex.

    Exactly, it also underscores the societies disbelief in the real faith and sense of morality of its members. Simply put the WTS does not trust its members.


  • Blueblades

    It is not good for the man to be alone, I'm going to make a person like him to help him. Woman! Sex! Natural! Remember, its in the Bible. It is not good for you, man or woman to be alone. God was the one who put us in that situation 'alone with the opposite sex.' Being alone with the opposite sex is ok with God. The opposite sex ,man or woman will liven up your day or night.Hey Watchtower! Read Gen: 2:18. Hey Elder's! You don't have to spy anymore. God say its ok.


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