by Honesty 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • greendawn

    It depends if they are too much against it but in that case they can secretly meet with the ex members. On the other hand remember the dubs are deviously told that shunning is good for the ex dubs because it may bring them back to the org and to salvation.

  • Good Girl or Bad Girl?
    Good Girl or Bad Girl?
    I am willing to be my parents have cried long and hard over shunning me. They think it is my choice to have them shun me though, so I guess in their minds, they are in the right. They do not realize they are able of making decisions for themself and that the choice to not speak to me is theirs and theirs alone.

    I agree with you, Unique1. I know my mom is very conflicted because she naturally wants to be around me (naturally! ) but she is being told constantly that the right thing to do is cut me off completely - until I change. The few times I talk to her lately I can tell her voice is about to break and I know she hangs up the phone and cries. It breaks my heart too, but it's her choice, not mine. I call her to check in, not the other way around. I honestly think that if my mom ever realized that JW's don't have the truth, it would BREAK her because of the way she has treated her own children "in the name of God" or whatever. She would never forgive herself. And that's the catch 22 right there, because I don't want her to be a JW forever but I don't want her to have a breakdown and be consumed with guilt for having mistreated us...

  • Lilycurly

    Yes, it is. I know my father is heartbroken, and I suspect that it can't be good for the shunner's mental state either. He seems to have become very confused about what "his conscience" actually is. At first, it was telling him that he could be around me, so he did. Then he got caught, the elders talked to him, and now his conscience is telling him that he can't be around me. When you start to confuse your own personal instincts with a bunch of control freaks, you aren't well.

  • fullofdoubtnow

    I always found it very difficult to shun someone I'd known for years, though I did it quite a few times. I don't know how they felt about it, but I was always upset after I'd done that, so in some ways it certainly damaged me.

  • MidwichCuckoo

    When did 'shunning' really 'kick in' in the Org?

  • choosing life
    choosing life

    Shunning is mental/emotional abuse. How many people would shun their own family by choice when they made a mistake? There is no love involved. Just fear and mind control. What did Jesus do when he cured people and told them their sins were forgiven? He said to go and sin no more. No shunning was ever required. Even the Samaritan woman who admitted to having 5 husbands and the man who was not her husband now. She was not even spoken to harshly. Instead, Jesus admitted to her that he was the Messiah, something he rarely said to anyone.

    Shunning is about contol and power. If the information on this board was regularly read by anyone with a heart and a conscince, how long would the society maintain their control over them? The only way to keep people in subjection is through ignorance. Knowledge is power.

    Shunning is EVIL!!!!!!!

  • MidwichCuckoo
    How many people would shun their own family by choice when they made a mistake?

    That's the point - THEY WOULDN'T, that's what made me think of Milgram. They only shun because they are TOLD TO.

  • poppers
    Is it emotionally damaging to those who shun others?

    I don't see how it couldn't be damaging. You may convince yourself of being "right" with some sort of reasoning, but that would come at the expense of supressing your true feelings. Any such supression will take its toll eventually.

  • jaguarbass

    Is it emotionally damaging to those who shun others? Yes. It means they are an Ahole.

  • hamsterbait

    Once again the WTBTS is lying about why they shun.

    Any fool knows that you will catch a lot more wasps with a saucer of honey than one full of vinegar.

    But the Crooklyn reptiles are not fools.

    Shunning actually exists, not to attract the sinners and apostates back to the fold, but to keep the gofors trapped inside.

    By refusing to talk to an "apostate", a dub will not know about the child abuse, UN NGO, the shares in tobacco and armaments, the pedos and gay sex at Crooklyn Brothel.

    Nor will they discover how much of what the borg teaches on Christ, God and the Holy Spirit has no foundation in any accurate translation of the bible.

    Like the the Berlin wall, shunning is not to protect the flock, rather it is to prevent escape.


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