Why do I feel so Guilty? Please offer me a kind word.

by xjwms 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    Don't feel guilty man, it's only natural to want to do something kind for your own mother.
    My own mother is not JW, and when I first started to question the JWs I would feel guilty about going to her for advice. I felt like I was going over into enemey territory! But then I realized that it was my own mother and that she cared ten times more for me than any JW conditionalist. So that was the end of that. Just today we where talking about possibly even going to visit some of the other Christian Churches in our area.

  • delilah

    Absolutely NO GUILT!!!!! You enjoy your mom's day with her, you still have her with you, and she will LOVE it. There is no guilt in seeing your mom with a big huge smile, and knowing that YOU put it there for her.

    When I left the "truth", I left ALL the guilt that goes with it, behind. Let the guilt go, you will be much happier.And have fun, eh?????

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Dear XJWMS,

    I recently posted this thread.. Maybe you will feel better after reading it. And just perhaps you may want to share the scriptures and articles with your wife. Here it is:

    Good Morning All and Happy Tuesday,

    Most everyone knows that Jehovahs Witnesses do not celebrate birthdays. The reason is that there are two examples given in the Bible of birthdays and bad things happened both times. Since the Bible was recorded for us, we must take that to mean that we should shun the celebration of them. The claim is also used that early Christians did not celebrate birthdays and we follow their example. We would not want to put anyone on a pedistal for honor and glory.

    Now.. are these claims really true? You be the judge...

    1. True, there were two incidents that someone died at birthdays. Yet, if you read the accounts, the events recorded were not focused on the birthdays. If you gave the passages for someone to read what would be the gist of the passage? Was it really about the birthday? Or rather was it about everything else that was going on in the story. If you re-read the accounts without thinking "Birthday", you may see there is much more to these passages. And it was recorded for a much deeper reason.

    2. False, there are not just two birthdays recorded in the Bible, there are three! The greatest birth of all isn't even thought of when Witnesses think of birthdays in the Bible. How about the birth of Christ Jesus? The angels in the heavens cried out with joy. I am sure there was a great celebration of his birth in the heavens. Why would it be ok to celebrate and be over come with joy at such a wonderful event, then only 1 year later pretend like we don't remember it at all? See The Greatest Man book- 1991 pag. 5.

    What an important night this is! Out in the fields a bright light gleams around a group of shepherds. It is Jehovah’s glory! And Jehovah’s angel tells them: "Have no fear, for, look! I am declaring to you good news of a great joy that all the people will have, because there was born to you today a Savior, who is Christ the Lord, in David’s city. And this is a sign for you: you will find an infant bound in cloth bands and lying in a manger." Suddenly many more angels appear and sing: "Glory in the heights above to God, and upon earth peace among men of goodwill."

    When the angels leave, the shepherds say to one another: "Let us by all means go clear to Bethlehem and see this thing that has taken place, which Jehovah has made known to us." They go in a hurry and find Jesus just where the angel said they would. When the shepherds relate what the angel told them, all who hear about it marvel. Mary safeguards all these sayings and cherishes them in her heart.

    3. False, Job was a perfect example of one who was favored by God, yet he was honoring his childrens birthdays. Infact, the Bible says he was blameless and upright in God's eyes. See-Job 1:4:



    There happened to be a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job; and that man proved to be blameless and upright, and fearing God and turning aside from bad. 2 And seven sons and three daughters came to be born to him. 3 And his livestock got to be seven thousand sheep and three thousand camels and five hundred spans of cattle and five hundred she-asses, along with a very large body of servants; and that man came to be the greatest of all the Orientals.


    And his sons went and held a banquet at the house of each one on his own day; and they sent and invited their three sisters to eat and drink with them. 5 And it would occur that when the banquet days had gone round the circuit, Job would send and sanctify them; and he got up early in the morning and offered up burnt sacrifices according to the number of all of them; for, said Job, "maybe my sons have sinned and have cursed God in their heart." That is the way Job would do always.

    4. What about the Societys view on the Pinata? It has religious and "pagan" roots. Yet see here what the Society feels about using them today. Are they wrong now because it was once a pagan custom? See for yourself in the September 22, 2003 Awake, page 22.


    Piñata Today

    Later, the piñata became part of the festivities of the posadas during the Christmas season and continues as such to this day. (A star-shaped piñata is used to represent the star that guided the astrologers to Bethlehem.) Breaking the piñata is also considered indispensable at birthday parties. Indeed, piñatas have become so traditionally Mexican that Mexico even exports them to other countries.

    We found that for many people in Mexico, the piñata has lost its religious significance and is considered by most to be just harmless fun. In fact, piñatas are used in Mexico on many festive occasions, not just for the posadas or for birthdays. And piñatas can be purchased in many forms other than the traditional star shape. They are sometimes made to resemble animals, flowers, clowns.

    When considering whether to include a piñata at a social gathering, Christians should be sensitive to the consciences of others. (1 Corinthians 10:31-33) A main concern is, not what the practice meant hundreds of years ago, but how it is viewed today in your area. Understandably, opinions may vary from one place to another. Hence, it is wise to avoid turning such matters into big issues. The Bible says: "Let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person."—1 Corinthians 10:24.

    So in conclusion, when a person allows themselves to weigh all of this out, are Birthdays really wrong for true Christians today? It sure makes you think again doesn't it?


    Lady Liberty

  • jaguarbass

    If you dont drag a chain around no one can yank it.

  • parakeet

    What are you feeling guilty about -- celebrating your mom's birthday? or hiding it from your wife?
    If it's celebrating your mom's birthday, think how guilty you would feel ignoring her on her birthday. I wish I could celebrate my JW parents' birthdays.
    If it's hiding the celebration from your wife, then maybe you should tell her about it. I guarantee, sooner or later she'll find out about it anyway, and then you'll have to deal with the birthday AND the fact that you were lying (by omission) about it. Good luck.

  • Virgochik

    Well, my goodness! Do you think Jesus would fault you for serving your beloved Mother a nice cake? It doesn't say "Happy Birthday" all over it, does it? So, it's just a pretty cake, some thing nice you want to treat her to...even if it does say "Happy Birthday" would Jesus really find that so wicked? Enjoy the moment with her, she won't last forever, and you'll make her happy. Nice memories to have later on.

  • Shawn10538

    If you are serious about losing the guilt then you will enter THERAPY!!!!! But I suspect, if you are like most people, you are getting something out of it, getting off on your own guilt. THERAPY is the only way out of it. Do it. Commit to it. Never stop it. Find a good therapist and keep them till your dying day, it's what sane people do. If you've had any contact with JWs whatsoever then you are all the more in need of it!

  • Twitch

    Here (gives xjwms a kind word)

    Pass it on to mom


    PS you should be proud to be a good son as you are. I'm sure mom is

  • JamesThomas

    Dear xjwms,

    May I suggest you get rid of your wife. Problem solved.

    Seriously, if you live your life dancing to someone else's music, you will eventually come to hate them and yourself. Your gilt is only a symptom of a much deeper problem.

    May I suggest you get real clear sense on how you want to live the rest of your life, and have a deep heart to heart talk with your wife. Honesty is the best policy, here.

    Easy for me from way over here, right. Good luck buddy xj.


  • JWdaughter

    Don't feel guilty about showing your mom love and respect and feeding her and her friends. Nothing wrong with any of it. Tell your wife what you did, that you wanted to be a blessing to your mom and her friends. If she questions the day-remind her that we are not to be judged for celebrating (from Crosswalk.com-NIV)

    Col 2:16 - Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day.

    Your mom can eat strawberry cake and drink tea with her friends on any day of the year, including her birthday. So there:)

    God bless you for following his commandments to honor your mother and for going even farther-you are loving her beyond mere duty.

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