Did anyone just get tired?

by woodmonkey 33 Replies latest jw experiences

  • woodmonkey

    I guess one thing that started me thinking about what a harsh lifestyle the WTBTS imposes on its members is when a young hispanic sister (married, 3 children) in our congregation in Burkburnett, TX went in the closet one day, loaded her husband's .457, went into the bathroom, closed the shower curtain so she would not mess up her immaculate house, stuck the barrel in her mouth and ended her life. As an elder in the congregation, I had absolutely no idea she was in so much pain. None of the body of elders did, because we were so focused on pushing everyone to get out and bang on doors every Saturday morning to sell magazines we sort of lost track of helping our own. That incident made me wonder about why god would not somehow let us know things were not exactly right in the flock. A few years later, after I had escaped, I heard that a young pioneer in that same congregation had committed suicide. I really loved that young fellow, and even though I had been out for some time, I deeply grieved at hearing that news. He was much like myself, extermely zealous and enthusiastic about being a witness. Even as I think of Preston today, almost 25 years later, I feel the pain. We were literally burning ourselves, and everyone around us, out. I am just glad I got out when I did.

  • delilah

    We were literally burning ourselves, and everyone around us, out. I am just glad I got out when I did.

    Woodmonkey, such sad stories. I heard of an elder in my old congregation who suffered a heart attack a few months back, in his late 30's, not from being overweight, but from STRESS. There are FAR too many troubles, and rules and regulations they have to keep up with. Too many meetings and assemblies. Too much "investigating" for trivial things, things that are none of their concern perhaps, and it's keeping the elders away from their families and things that are most important.

    I never wanted to marry a witness, let alone a man who aspired to be an elder. Wasn't for me.I wanted my husband all to myself....greedy, aren't I ????

    I'm glad you got out when you did also.

  • LisaRose

    Oh yeah tired was it. I was a working mom trying to do the JW thing for years, although I wasn't exactly zealous. Then I went through a rough patch, in the same 5 years I had a suicidal daughter (2 attempts and multiple hospitalizations). My ex husband almost died twice, then couldn't work for 3 years. My job was extemely stressfull. because of all that I got Fibromyalgia. Tired was my middle name. Meetings were just burdensome to me, plus boring. And the never ending guilt, guilt guilt. My only salvation that I was such a non-entity in the congregation (Are you new here?), the elders left me alone for the most part.

  • aSphereisnotaCircle

    It was my mental exhaustion that finally persuaded me to leave.

    Once I left, I could not believe how physically exhausted I was too, I was raised a dub, so being exhausted all my life seemed normal.

    your just never, never, never exerting yourself vigorously enough

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