by woodmonkey 33 Replies latest jw experiences
The Watchtower keeps people busy and worn-out so they don't have time to research the cult.
I used to wonder why other dubs would say, "No one's home anymore because Satan's keeping them busy so they will not hear the "Truth" while they themselves were not at home either.
Yes! Just hearing your story makes me exhausted. I remember those rainy nights and I, as a single parent, would "loyally" attend every meeting. The memories even tire me!
Purza
Thanks for telling me what I have been telling myself all these years. Feels good to be here. I think, like Arthur said, it was a matter of self-preservation. I was drinking a lot of medicinal JB scotch in order to maintain toward the end. After I escaped, I no longer had to be sober for meetings, so my drinking got a lot worse until 1986 when I confronted that daemon. Or more accurately, it completely kicked my a$$, and thanks to a 12 step program it no longer bothers me. I live a fairly normal life now, or like Nicholson said, "as good as it gets", up here on the beautiful shores of Lake Oneida, NY, doing my part to control the earthworm and minnow populations.
Yep, Twitch, I am a vintage 1944 model wood monkey, leading edge of the baby boom. I assume you are the newer 1968 model. My son is a 1980 model.
Luv your site. Whoever the webmeister is deserves kudos.
Yes we all got tired, Jesus yoke was kind, not the watchtower schedule.
Woodmonkey, you are definitely not a whimp. You are fighting to addictions, drinking and smoking. That takes strength. Good for you!
Hi Monkeyman!
Makes me tired reading your schedule! It would lead a person to drink. I'm glad you got the help you needed. You can never do enough in that org. You must've been a person to not say "NO" when asked to do more.
I can relate to your situation also in that we raised 4 kids in the org. W/all of the mtgs. service, etc. it was tiring. Exhausting. I did, did, did. And then to hear "Do more and more and more." It drove me to the point of suicide.
I'm sorry to hear that you lost your wife and family too. I wish that there was a "do over" in life as I certainly wouldn't have become a JW and drag my kids through all of that.
Sounds like you're in a "good place" now. And definitely you are not a "wimp". Jesus' load was to be light and kindly and a refreshment for your souls. Certainly doesn't fit the JW expectations.
Peace to you,
Juni
Hi Monkey Man,
We nick named my son Joey who is 12 Monkey because he is always climbing everything, ever since he was a baby.
Anyway, Yes we were all tired. It was me, hubby and two kids raised as JWs. We left 3 years ago and my kids are now 12 and 14. We were so tired my hubby and I were always snapping at each other and the kids. Especially on meeting days because my son always needs help with homework (he has some trouble focusing) and I found myself yelling at the poor kid to hurry up all the time and hurry to get dressed. It was like our life was rushed all the time to keep up with the schedule.
We have so much time now to spend with the kids now and we had to get to know each other again as a family since leaving. Anyway, life is GREAT now. We really enjoy life now.
Glad to hear you worked out the issues with drinking/smoking. Sorry to hear your family fell apart. Do you stil have a good relationship with your kids? sounds like they worry about armegeddon? Thats too bad. I wish you the best, Lilly
Lilly,
My relationship with my kids is much better now. I sobered up and that solved lots of my self-inflicted problems. Unfortunately, most of the damage done to my relationship with my ex was irreparable by then. However, your kids are your kids, and if you work hard enough, you can repair almost anything. I re-focused some of the energy I had previously wasted in the service of the WTBTS into building a relationship with my children, and today I have a pretty good relationship with my oldest daughter, who has escaped now, and is actually the one who clued me in to this site. My son is still a slave, and my youngest daughter was never baptized. She and I have a good relationship. In fact she came to live with me during her high school years when she got fed up with the "life".
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The last 20 years I was a witness I was exhausted all the time. The real exhaustion started after I had children after the age of 32. And as you all know we just never could do enough to be found approved by the Ole God Jehover. He was a hard task master according to the JW's. And though Jesus load was suppost to be light it was heaviest load any religion ever created. When I stopped meetings I tell you I felt 3,000 lbs lighter. LOL
Balsam
