Revised Letter to my Mother--Possibly the LONGEST in history...

by Confession 34 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Confession

    Hi again, Baba...

    In weighing whether or not to send it, I would question what good would come from it.

    I'll try to express my answer as best I can. First, this really doesn't have anything to do with anger at my mother--or the fact that she sent her a letter. I've been debating what to do for almost two years now--and more intensely since the time (6 months ago) when I first told my mother of my position as regards the WTS.

    The way I see it, I could have done two things...

    1) Pull off the classic fade. When I speak to my family I avoid discussing the WTS. I skirt the issue. Since I won't realistically be able to pull off the charade that I'm still attending meetings, I'll have to tell them something like, "I'm struggling with some issues right now and taking some time for myself." This will only result in them seeing me as sickly and unrighteous.

    2) Just come out with the truth. I don't want to play some game--or to let them see me in the above light. Do I believe that any of them will listen to me and respond? No. At least not right away.

    But I'll be damned if I'm going to let that bunch of authoritarian nuts in Brooklyn scare me from trying to help my family look at ALL THE FRIGGING INFORMATION!

    In a way I'd like to pull off the fade to my parents, knowing they're advanced in years--but then somehow trying to communicate with the rest of my thirty family members in the organization. But the truth is I don't think that's possible. My parents are in good health; one or both of them might live another fifteen years. By then my siblings will be pretty old themselves.

    The end of this legalistic religion's reign over my entire family started on September 15, 2004, when I was hit by the clue bus myself. In hindsight, if one of my family members figured it out before me, I would certainly expect them to at least TRY and help me see the light too. I understand that likely no one will respond immediately--and perhaps no one will respond ever--but I do my family no good by burying this and keeping my mouth shut. I believe I should at least attempt to hip them to reality.

    And I'm convinced that--at some point--they will begin to figure things out as I have done. Maybe only one or two--but maybe more. In my case, I'll just feel like I'm both wimping out and giving in to the Watchtower Bible & Bully Society.

    (sigh of relief) Hey, thanks for asking me that question. Now I'm even more convinced that I should send it. And send it I will.


  • purplesofa

    I think your mother will read every word. The time, effort, thoughtfulness would impress any mother. Whether she believes it is another question, but you will broaden her thoughts and hopefully she will see that you truely care and this whole mess will be as pleasant as possible for everyone involved.

    The whole time I read this I thought how much I wanted my own mother to read these words.

    It helped me to read it.

    Your mom raised a good son, she knows it.

    Your consideration for her well being is very loving. She won't be able to discount that either.


  • candidlynuts

    that is an impressive letter.

  • sspo

    Very long and impressive but a mother will read every word that a son writes.

  • hemp lover
    hemp lover

    Wow. That's an amazing letter. You had so many WT quotes that I'd never read before, like this:

    We may think of study as hard work, as involving heavy research. But in Jehovah's organization it is not necessary to spend a lot of time and energy in research, for there are brothers in the organization who are assigned to do that very thing

    Directly counter to "researching as the Beroeans did," isn't it?

    I understand completely why you need to say these things to her. In my own case, I felt by keeping quiet about the WTS, I was being dishonest to who I really was. And I really had nothing else to lose as far as family contact. I wrote a really long letter several years ago, thought not as long as yours. I wasn't posting yet, so my ex-husband posted it for me.

    Mine was more from the angle of finally being honest with them about where my head was my whole life. If I had read your letter first, I would definitely have ripped off a lot of the reasoning you used at the beginning about how the WTS discourages its followers from really studying and thinking. So I think that, by writing this letter, not only have you helped yourself (and hopefully maybe someday your family), but you've also helped people on this board with some really thought-provoking material.

    Thanks for sharing this and please let me us know what kind of a response, if any, you receive.

  • Confession

    Dear Hemp Lover,

    Thanks so much for re-directing me to your letter. It only took me a few sentences before I recognized it. It was very early in my "awakening" when I read it for the first time. I absolutely loved it both times. Funny, isn't it, how our styles are different? Yours provided so many wonderful memories from your youth. You did such a good job of relating your former though-processes that a pretty clear picture of this little girl springs to life. It absolutely breaks me up to read how sick with worry you were about all those you thought would die at Armageddon. Your chanting to the demons struck an emotional chord with me too. Reminds me of something I might've done when a little boy.

    I hope you're well,


    PS: Thanks, everyone, for all your positive comments. Very much appreciated.

  • BabaYaga

    Your quote:

    "But I'll be damned if I'm going to let that bunch of authoritarian nuts in Brooklyn scare me from trying to help my family look at ALL THE FRIGGING INFORMATION!"

    You know what? You're a better man than I am, Gunnga Din. If I'm not careful, you'll inspire me to open my mouth to my family, too. ;)

    You rock. May we publish your letter for mass distribution? I'm only slightly in jest. Edited to be more generalized, I think this would be a MARVELOUS "tract" to hand back to Witnesses at the door...

  • Confession

    Okay, Serendipity, I did it. I included a section in my already War-And-Peace-Like letter that drawns attention the quote you mention--and others like it. Here it is...


    (I've left off with inviting her to consider ALL of the information available...)

    If you do you will be utterly floored to find that so many of those negative things we have heard people say over the years—the stuff we’ve always pooh-poohed—is not the flimsy faultfinding we thought it was. You will also note how the organization’s teachings on its own authority have, just like the leaven of the Pharisees, grown out of control.

    "A visible organization is out of harmony with God’s divine plan." [Watchtower, December 1, 1894, p. 1743]

    Then later…

    “How is such independent thinking manifested? A common way is by questioning the counsel that is provided by God’s visible organization.” [Watchtower, January 15, 1983, p. 22]


    "Beware of "organization." It is wholly unnecessary. The Bible rules will be the only rules you will need. Do not seek to bind others consciences, and do not permit others to bind yours. Believe and obey so far as you can understand God’s Word today, and so continue growing in grace and knowledge and love day by day." [Watchtower, September 15, 1895, p. 1866]

    But later…

    "Unless we are in touch with this channel of communication that God is using, we will not progress along the road to life, no matter how much Bible reading we do.” [Watchtower, December 1, 1981, p. 27]

    Even as recently as 1961, this appeared in The Watchtower…

    “If one renders obedient service to someone or some organization, whether willingly or under compulsion, looking up to such as possessing a position of superior rulership and great authority, then that one can Scripturally be said to be a worshiper.” [Watchtower, September 1, 1961, p. 525]

    But what does the Society teach today?

    "Those who desire life in the New Order must come into a right relationship with the organization." [Watchtower, November 15, 1981, pp. 16-17]

    The above is a small glimpse at how what started out as a fairly harmless group became a legalistic and authoritarian institution. Their own words condemn them. But there is so much more, and you deserve to see it.

    I also added to (imagine that) the part about the Society's 607 blunder...

    Yes, at some point they will see that it’s not just “mistakes” that have been made. As I told you on the phone, whether you realize it or not, the entire foundation for the Watchtower Society’s claims of authority rests upon their calculation of 1914 as the date when Jesus began to rule. Their claims have vacillated through the years, but for some time now they’ve taught that in 1918, three years after they say Jesus sat down on his throne, he came to inspect those claiming to be Christians, and after a period of cleansing appointed associates of the Watchtower Society “over all his belongings.”

    Problem: In the late 1960s, when conducting research for Aid to Bible Understanding, it was discovered that Jerusalem did not fall in 607 BCE, but in 587 BCE. This would necessarily make the end of the “Gentile times” 1934 instead of 1914. Later a remarkable amount of research was conducted by a Swedish pioneer elder who found seven lines of evidence demonstrating this very thing. Everyone else on the planet knows Jerusalem fell in 587. Only the Watchtower Society, because of an apparent reliance on bad information provided by Russell’s one time associate Nelson Barbour, used 607. When the truth was discovered, the Governing Body considered a revision to the former Gentile Time date calculations. But they realized this would devastate all former teachings about Jesus coming in 1914 and choosing them in 1918/1919—and would dash their claims of having been appointed as God’s sole channel of communication. So the majority voted not to release this information.

    The brother in the writing department assigned to pen the information under “Chronology” in the Aid book later confessed he was simply given the task of finding whatever fault he could with the new information they found. He, along with other longtime brothers in the writing department, many other Bethelites and even that Swedish brother, would eventually be disfellowshipped for not keeping this and other information deemed embarrassing to the Society quiet.

    Mother, any argument about “waiting on Jehovah” or things being taken care of “in Jehovah’s due time” is pointless since it presumes that the leadership of this organization has grounds for proclaiming their unequaled divine authority. But they don’t! They were not at any time—and they certainly aren’t now—chosen to be God’s mouthpiece, and their insistence that they be recognized as such makes them no different than the religious leaders of Jesus’ day. You have every right to examine the evidence in this regard, Mother. And you should be suspicious of anyone telling you not to.

    Confession, of the "Just When You Thought You Were Finally Done Class"

  • LDH

    Finally had a chance to read this. Two things stood out.

    The "Three Layers of Propoganda" thingy. I think that deserves its own thread.


    This is God’s true organization.”

    “If so, why be afraid of hearing out one who disagrees?”

    “Because they might lead you away from God’s true organization.”

    “But what if these ones are right?”

    “They can’t be right since this is God’s true organization.”

    “But shouldn’t such an organization withstand honest-hearted scrutiny?”

    “It’s thinking like that that has led many away from God’s true organization.”

    Under what circumstances is it wise to disallow yourself the hearing of all sides of an important issue?

    Man can you say CIRCULAR reasoning and yet it is right on the money.
  • sass_my_frass
    Or I can just tell the truth. I'm opting for plan B.

    Good for you. I love your letter. Do realise that you might not ever hear from them again, and re-read it as if it's the last thing you ever get to say to them, because that's a likely result. Think about how long it took to get yourself out. I'm 33, and I've guessed that it was at least 15 years from the time of my first 'doubt infection' to getting out. I can only guess that the longer you're in, the harder you'll fight to stay. You need to accept that this may be your last chance to tell them the only thing that really matters; how much you love them, and that they probably won't ever say the same thing back. Sorry....

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