Needing advice on recently DF'd neice

by thinkingbloke 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • fullofdoubtnow

    Hi thinkingbloke, and welcome to the forum.

    Just be there for her as a friend, because when you leave the wts, there is nothing you need more than a friend, as you lose most of them when you leave. Also, make sure she knows that your friendship, unlike the ones she has left behind, is unconditional.

  • Dansk

    All of the above plus BRING HER HERE!!

    All the best to both of you - and congratulations on coming out of lurk mode!


  • JWdaughter

    It took a lot of courage for her to break away like that. If you can get her some groceries when you shop, give her a gift card to the local discount store when you can, little things add up to be a large blessing and help. You can do it openly or privately. She will understand your motives, but she is young and if you are worried about it getting out, you might want to be anonymous.

    Isn't it a sick religion that tears families apart like that? Isn't it sick that you feel constrained to help a young family member because it will cause so many repercussions? I hate it religion is used to divide and hurt.

  • serendipity

    Hi thinkingbloke and welcome!

    I'd advise talking to her on a regular basis so that she'll feel comfortable asking you for help. Just ask her what she needs. As far as college goes, have her check into student loans/grants/financial aid, etc. I'm sure there's something available to help her out.

  • sosad

    also - remind her that NOT being a jw does not mean she has to be a "spring that goes crazy" if she has jw parents she will understand the illustration. Ask her to think aboutwhat she wants from her life in 6 months/ a year/ ten years ....there is no greater glee among the faithful than seeing a dfed individual totally loos their moral compas and any direction. If she really wants to "heap fiery coals on their heads" be the person her family believes she CANNOT be outside the org. Be happy. Set Goals. Read books. Make real Friends.

    This happened to my best friend when we were 16. I almost moved in with her and did not because of my siblings and ended up getting reinstated, only to fade years later.

    My friend jumped into a lot of things way to fast, way too soon.

  • thinkingbloke

    Lots of good advice. Thanks guys. I will definitely try to get her to come to this forum also.

  • jgnat

    In my province, parents can be made to pay child support, if the teen cannot be reconciled.

    For the parents:

    For her:

Share this