How deep did you search to finally quit being a JW? (page 4)

mkr32208

I left religion before I left the JW's! The whole idea of god, Jesus, the bible, prophets began to SICKEN me. I mean it would make me nauseous and angry! I couldn't sit through the meetings. They would talk about the "faithful men of old" and it was all I could do not to scream "THEY WERE DELUDED F*CKING SHEPARDS!" For about 6 months before I left I would go to the meetings sit through the song and prayer then go outside and pace until the closing prayer. The whole thing made me furious! Finally I got totally fed up at an assembly by the total horse hocky they were peddling and have never gone back!

It was several years before I became interested enough to look at apostate material!

Moomin

Asheron - Isn't it awful when you ask them questions in a non-confrontational way and they behave like you've said something disgusting?

They must have just assumed you were trying to trip them up or something rather than being genuine. What a horrible thing that man said. To imply that a humble person doesn't ask any questions is like intellectual bullying. It was like he wanted to stunt the growth of your mind. Urgh - I feel all suffocated now.

Those were brilliant questions and its great that someone of 17 was aware of these potential inconsistencies and it meant that you left sooner preventing you from wasting any of your adult life with them.

Twitch

Re: How deep did you search to finally quit being a JW?

Good question. I'd have to say that it was a instinct thing at the time of my leaving; the whole thing just didn't seem right. I mean, I believed as I was brought up to but I had my doubts, my own ideas and too strong a desire to do what I wanted to do. Of course, parts of the trip involved denying certain rules of the road, trying to negotiate two opposing lanes of traffic, being fueled by anger, passing through depression and so on. But I digress. The roots went deep and I tend to think some parts will be there always. S'alright. Part of the former self.

Asheron

Moomin,

Thanks for the compliment Moomin. I was a little to "cerebral" for a 17 year old in the view of some. I may have stayed longer if the teatment I recieved was more accepting but in retrospect I am glad I saw the true colors early on.

Gordy

Maybe we should also ask "What made us, and When did we start to search".

Personally I was at a time when I couldn't understand the way I was treated, by "Jehovah's loving people" at a time I needed help and support.

It was February 1997 and I had been a JW for 25 years, I was in the local public library browsing the shelves. When I spotted a book called "Awake to the Watchtower". My first thought was another of those books running down the organisation. But something made me pick it up and look at it. I opened it probably half way through and started reading. It caught my attention and I spent the next two hours sitting there reading it. Strangely as I read I wasn't thinking "Thats a lie, thats wrong" etc. But felt that I was having my eyes and mind opened. Doubts about some WT teachings that I had, especially about Jesus Christ, became clear. This then led me to the Internet, which the library had. One of the first websites I looked at was Freeminds and eventually this forum. I spent the next two years researching the WT learning things about its past that I had never come across before. Then one evening I was at the Kingdom Hall, August 1999, when it hit me that I no longer believed what they were saying. That was my last meeting. I eventually disassociated in September 2001 which meant I ended 30 years of being a JW.

Van Gogh

"Finally took the last step and read Ray Franz's book 'Crisis of Conscience' and that was it, I couldn't go to another meeting. I had a epiphany and realized I was conned. Did anyone have a moment like that? It was like I reached the tipping point and everything fell together; I was really stunned for a few days as I let it all sink in."

It was like that for me, though I never researched anything, least of all WTS stuff... left on intuition in my early twenties, ready to die, only to return some years later. Grew to hate the organization yet again, though I never conceived it could not be the truth. I just strongly believed God was out there in the end. After reading "Apocalypse Delayed", on reading CoC the puzzle was completed for me within the first few pages, despite my gullibility. I wasn't quite ready for the red pill. Swallowed it and swore to go cold turkey. No more research needed. Still stunned.
VG

How deep did you search to finally quit being a JW?