How Many JW's Does It Take To 'Change A Lightbulb'?

by Outaservice 36 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Nina
    Nina

    The correct answer must be "zero". Change can be effected only through Holy Spirit.

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    One. But before he does, he must first......
    1. Check biblical precedents for changing a lightbulb.
    2. In the absence of direct scriptural support, he must check the Watchtower to find out if changing a lightbulb is a DFing offense or a "matter of conscience."
    3. If the Watchtower is silent on the matter, he must consult the elders.
    4. He must then be interrogated by the elders for hours, who demand detailed information about the bulb, including its size, wattage, and the reason it needs to be changed.
    5. He must object to the elders' questioning him about a personal maintenance matter in his own home.
    6. He must then be brought before a JC and DFed for independent thinking and defiance.
    7. He is shunned by his family, who refuse to discuss lightbulbs with him.
    7. Feeling upset and betrayed, he comes to this site and finds out he had the right to change the lightbulb all along.
    8. He changes the lightbulb.
    9. He feels liberated.

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    I would say about half of them know how to change lightbulbs... the half that are janitors anyway. The other half that are window washers, don't stand a chance.

  • monkeyshine
    monkeyshine

    THREE

    One to change it incorrectly...

    one to offer an excuse as to why it was done incorrectly...

    and one to be the invisible "scholar" that provided the divine excuse.

  • pseudoxristos
    pseudoxristos

    None, the light just keeps getting brighter and brighter.

    pseudo

  • Scully
    Scully

    All JWs are needed to change a lightbulb. But the whole universe has to revolve around them in order to unscrew the lightbulb from its socket and install New Lightâ„¢.

  • cyd0099
    cyd0099

    None.

  • cyd0099
    cyd0099

    None.
    Because the light keeps on getting brighter.

  • Alwayshere
    Alwayshere

    144,000.

  • Swamboozled
    Swamboozled
    Nobody actually changes the lightbulb..WBTS just tells them it`s a "NewLight" bulb..Jehovah`s Witness`s accept the story,and continue to walk around in the dark...OUTLAW

    My favorite! LOL!!!

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